Charlie Bartlett Quotes

Charlie Bartlett I'm just a stupid kid.

Taglines When Charlie Bartlett listens everyone talks.

Charlie Bartlett Oh, trust me doc, bringing psychiatric drugs and teenagers together is like opening a lemonade stand in the desert.

Murphy Bivens I'll see you in the sequel, bitch!

Charlie Bartlett Viagra! Virgin! Vino! Vagabond! Vagina!

Marilyn Well maybe there's more to high school than being well-liked.

Charlie Like what, specifically?

Marilyn Nothing comes to mind.

Marilyn Bartlett I'm fit as a fucking fiddle.

Dr. Weathers You don't feel normal?

Charlie My family has a psychiatrist on call, how normal can I be?

Taglines First come. First cured.

Charlie I think you're missing the big picture.

Kip What big picture?

Charlie The universe.

Kip What about the universe?

Charlie Well, the universe is a pretty big place.

Kip Yeah. It's infinite, theoretically.

Charlie Right, which means there's probably life on other planets.

Kip Not life like we think, but yeah. Probably at least single-cell organisms.

Charlie Well, see, that's my whole point. I mean you could've been born a single cell organism on the planet Zortex. In fact, given the odds, it's probably more likely, but you weren't. You we're born a human being. And not just any human being in the history of human beings, but a human being that gets to be alive today. That gets to listen to all kinds of music, that gets to eat food from every culture, that gets to download porn off the internet. So really, you have everything to live for. Do you feel better?

Kip Not really.

Principal Gardener Never attack a drunk guy with a gun!

Kip Crombwell Sir, would it help if I said I'd be considerably less likely to end my life if you let us do this?

Charlie Bartlett My name is Charlie Bartlett, and I'm no longer a virgin!

Charlie Bartlett That's the best euphemism for getting the total crap kicked out of you that I've ever heard.

Principal Gardener There are worse crimes than tax evasion, you know.

Charlie Bartlett Would you like to talk about it?

Charlie Bartlett Well duh dude, this place sucks. But I just worry that one day we're gonna look back at high school and wish we'd done something different.

Taglines Popularity is a state of mind.