20 quotes
Guitar Heaven Enthusiasm
Cheech
Holy sheep shit! It's guitar heaven!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Comedic Challenge Among Friends
Pee-wee Herman
Hey, you guys look a little familiar to me!
Dwayne "Red" Mendoza
Hey, you smell kinda familiar.
Pee-wee Herman
Ha, ha, ha. I'm the comedian. I'll tell the jokes, if you don't mind! If you think it's so easy, why don't you come up here and do it?
Gloria's Mom
Yeah, go up there and tell a joke!
Pee-wee Herman
That's right! You come up here and do it!
Dwayne "Red" Mendoza
Okay!
Chong
Yeah, man!
Pee-wee Herman
Fuck this. I'm going somewhere else. Hey, hey, here!
[gives Red the finger and storms off]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Admiring a Stolen Car's Beauty
Cheech
Hey, that's a pretty nice car, man. Better get it back to the circus before they find out it's gone.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating Distractions While Driving
Gloria's Mom
Watch the road.
[while driving]
Cheech
Okay, where's it gonna go?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Invitation with a humorous twist
Cheech
You wanna come over to my place? Okay, I'll be here with balls on.
[to a girl on the phone]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Complications of Driving an Automatic Car
Chong
You're driving like an idiot, man.
Cheech
I just can't get used to these automatics, man.
Chong
Yeah, they are real complicated, aren't they?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Education and Cultural Identity
Cheech
Mexican Americans / love education / so they go to night school / and take Spanish / and get a B.
[singing]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Weight of Responsibility
Cheech
Responsibility is a heavy responsibility!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desk Clerk Reports Chaos from Two Intruders
Desk Clerk
Look, this is the real thing this time! There are two crazies running around tearing the place up! I already told you our location! ERRRGH! Well, what are they doing, walking over here? Look, I think they're Iranians!... okay, thanks very much.
[on phone with police]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggling with Work and Time Management
Cheech
Shit, man. I'm gonna be late for work again. That's the fifth time this week, and it's only Tuesday, man.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Miscommunication at the Studio Entrance
Guard at the Studio Entrance
Hey, fella, your pass?
[to Cheech after leaving in a van]
Cheech
Pass? Oh, thanks a lot, man.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Theft and Irony in Cheech's Statement
Cheech
Somebody ripped off the thing I ripped off!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humor in Intelligence and Loneliness
Cheech
Man, if you had a second brain, it would die of loneliness, man.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstandings Among Friends After Years Apart
Dwayne "Red" Mendoza
Cheech! Hey, you old pile of horseshit! How are you? Goddamn, you got ugly! How ya doing, man?
Chong
Good, man.
Dwayne "Red" Mendoza
I haven't seen you in ten years, man!
Chong
I'm not Cheech, man.
Dwayne "Red" Mendoza
What?
Chong
I'm Cheech's friend Chong.
Dwayne "Red" Mendoza
Oh, hey, Ching! Good to meet you!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Learning Spanish with Friends
Cheech
Want me to teach you some Spanish, man?
Chong
Okay.
Cheech
When you see a friend, you say "Hey, how's it going, Pendejo?
Chong
Hey, how's it going, Pendecko?
Cheech
...Yeah, that's close enough.
Chong
What does that mean, man?
Cheech
Oh, it means my really good friend.
Chong
How's it going, Pend... Pen..." How was that, again?
Cheech
Pendejo.
Chong
Pendecko.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Creativity in Songwriting: A Unique Perspective
Chong
I dig it, man. It's good. But you know, while you were singing that, I came up with another song, man.
Cheech
Oh, yeah?
Chong
Yeah. It's like the same thing, only different.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Caution Amidst Gas Fumes
Chong
You got a light, man?
Cheech
Huh? Oh yeah, here. Hey, I don't think you better light it in here, man.
[hands him a lighter]
Chong
Why?
Cheech
Ah, these gas fumes, man.
Chong
Oh man.
[flicks the lighter]
Cheech
I don't know.
[the inside of the car explodes]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Pass Required at Studio Entrance
Guard at the Studio Entrance
Hey, fella, you need a pass.
[to Cheech]
Cheech
Oh, uh... I'm with the Towering Inferno, man.
[covered in ashes after the car explosion]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration Over Delays and Responsibilities
Cheech
Man, hurry up, bitch. I got lots of shit to do. Shit. If that bitch doesn't hurry up and get here, I'll have to wait some more.
[waiting on date to arrive]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Request for a Drink
Cheech
Hey, it's about time, man. Hey, what do you got? Hey, give me some.
[seeing a jar with a yellowish fluid inside]
Chong
What?
Cheech
Give a drink, man. Come on, man, you drink it.
Chong
What, this?
Cheech
Yeah.
Chong
Oh, go ahead, man. Help yourself.
[hands him the jar]
Cheech
Wait a minute... Hey, man, that's pee!
[sniffs the inside]
Chong
No kidding.
Cheech
What are you doing with pee?
Chong
That's for my probation officer, man.
Cheech
What, does he drink pee?
Chong
No, man. Last week, I was supposed to bring some in, you know.
Cheech
Yeah?
Chong
But I forgot to wash out the jar first, so he sees that mayonnaise floatin around, and he'll think I'm on some kind of weird drug again, and I'm really gonna fuck with his mind this time, man.
Cheech
Yeah, what did you do?
Chong
Have my SISTER pee in it.
Cheech
Your sister?
[laughs it out]
Chong
Yeah, she's pregnant!
Cheech
Hey, did she get the weed?
Chong
No, she's out of it, man. We're just waiting on some from Columbia.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.