Cheech & Chong's Next Movie (1980) - Quotes

Complications of Driving an Automatic Car

Chong: You're driving like an idiot, man.

Cheech: I just can't get used to these automatics, man.

Chong: Yeah, they are real complicated, aren't they?

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A Comedic Challenge Among Friends

Pee-wee Herman: Hey, you guys look a little familiar to me!

Dwayne "Red" Mendoza: Hey, you smell kinda familiar.

Pee-wee Herman: Ha, ha, ha. I'm the comedian. I'll tell the jokes, if you don't mind! If you think it's so easy, why don't you come up here and do it?

Gloria's Mom: Yeah, go up there and tell a joke!

Pee-wee Herman: That's right! You come up here and do it!

Dwayne "Red" Mendoza: Okay!

Chong: Yeah, man!

Pee-wee Herman: [gives Red the finger and storms off] Fuck this. I'm going somewhere else. Hey, hey, here!

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Desk Clerk Reports Chaos from Two Intruders

Desk Clerk: [on phone with police] Look, this is the real thing this time! There are two crazies running around tearing the place up! I already told you our location! ERRRGH! Well, what are they doing, walking over here? Look, I think they're Iranians!... okay, thanks very much.

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Misunderstandings Among Friends After Years Apart

Dwayne "Red" Mendoza: Cheech! Hey, you old pile of horseshit! How are you? Goddamn, you got ugly! How ya doing, man?

Chong: Good, man.

Dwayne "Red" Mendoza: I haven't seen you in ten years, man!

Chong: I'm not Cheech, man.

Dwayne "Red" Mendoza: What?

Chong: I'm Cheech's friend Chong.

Dwayne "Red" Mendoza: Oh, hey, Ching! Good to meet you!

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Learning Spanish with Friends

Cheech: Want me to teach you some Spanish, man?

Chong: Okay.

Cheech: When you see a friend, you say "Hey, how's it going, Pendejo?

Chong: Hey, how's it going, Pendecko?

Cheech: ...Yeah, that's close enough.

Chong: What does that mean, man?

Cheech: Oh, it means my really good friend.

Chong: How's it going, Pend... Pen..." How was that, again?

Cheech: Pendejo.

Chong: Pendecko.

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Caution Amidst Gas Fumes

Chong: You got a light, man?

Cheech: [hands him a lighter] Huh? Oh yeah, here. Hey, I don't think you better light it in here, man.

Chong: Why?

Cheech: Ah, these gas fumes, man.

Chong: [flicks the lighter] Oh man.

Cheech: [the inside of the car explodes] I don't know.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Miscommunication at the Studio Entrance

Guard at the Studio Entrance: [to Cheech after leaving in a van] Hey, fella, your pass?

Cheech: Pass? Oh, thanks a lot, man.

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Pass Required at Studio Entrance

Guard at the Studio Entrance: [to Cheech] Hey, fella, you need a pass.

Cheech: [covered in ashes after the car explosion] Oh, uh... I'm with the Towering Inferno, man.

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Navigating Distractions While Driving

Gloria's Mom: [while driving] Watch the road.

Cheech: Okay, where's it gonna go?

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Creativity in Songwriting: A Unique Perspective

Chong: I dig it, man. It's good. But you know, while you were singing that, I came up with another song, man.

Cheech: Oh, yeah?

Chong: Yeah. It's like the same thing, only different.

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A Request for a Drink

Cheech: [seeing a jar with a yellowish fluid inside] Hey, it's about time, man. Hey, what do you got? Hey, give me some.

Chong: What?

Cheech: Give a drink, man. Come on, man, you drink it.

Chong: What, this?

Cheech: Yeah.

Chong: [hands him the jar] Oh, go ahead, man. Help yourself.

Cheech: [sniffs the inside] Wait a minute... Hey, man, that's pee!

Chong: No kidding.

Cheech: What are you doing with pee?

Chong: That's for my probation officer, man.

Cheech: What, does he drink pee?

Chong: No, man. Last week, I was supposed to bring some in, you know.

Cheech: Yeah?

Chong: But I forgot to wash out the jar first, so he sees that mayonnaise floatin around, and he'll think I'm on some kind of weird drug again, and I'm really gonna fuck with his mind this time, man.

Cheech: Yeah, what did you do?

Chong: Have my SISTER pee in it.

Cheech: [laughs it out] Your sister?

Chong: Yeah, she's pregnant!

Cheech: Hey, did she get the weed?

Chong: No, she's out of it, man. We're just waiting on some from Columbia.

Admiring a Stolen Car's Beauty

Cheech: Hey, that's a pretty nice car, man. Better get it back to the circus before they find out it's gone.

Struggling with Work and Time Management

Cheech: Shit, man. I'm gonna be late for work again. That's the fifth time this week, and it's only Tuesday, man.

Frustration Over Delays and Responsibilities

Cheech: [waiting on date to arrive] Man, hurry up, bitch. I got lots of shit to do. Shit. If that bitch doesn't hurry up and get here, I'll have to wait some more.