14 quotes
The Game Takes a Serious Turn
Taglines
It's Not Just A Game Anymore.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion on Gender and Preferences
Col. Mustard
I prefer ] myself. "The female of the species is more deadly than the male." Do you like Kipling, Miss Scarlet?
[[Rudyard Kipling|Kipling]
Miss Scarlet
Sure, I'll eat anything.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation Over Perceived Intelligence
Col. Mustard
Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests?!
[indignant]
Wadsworth
You don't need any help from me, sir.
[dryly]
Col. Mustard
That's right!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Career Changes and Consistent Themes
Wadsworth
Professor Plum, you were once a professor of psychiatry specializing in helping paranoid and homicidal lunatics suffering from delusions of grandeur.
Professor Plum
Yes, but now I work for the United Nations.
Wadsworth
So I see your work has not changed.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mystery with Multiple Suspects and Endings
Taglines
Seven Suspects, Six Weapons, Five Bodies and Three Endings.
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Bathroom Inquiry in a Social Setting
Mrs. Peacock
Yvette, is there a little girls room in the hall?
Yvette
Oui, oui, madame.
Mrs. Peacock
No, I just I wanna powder my nose.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Murder and Mystery in a Fun Twist
Taglines
Murder, madness, mystery, and mayhem. More fun than you can imagine.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Duties of a Humble Butler
Wadsworth
I'm merely a humble butler.
Col. Mustard
What exactly do you do?
Wadsworth
I buttle, sir.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Revelations in a Whodunit Dinner
Wadsworth
You see, like the Mounties, we always get our man!
Mr. Green
Mrs. Peacock was a man?!
Wadsworth
Would anyone care for fruit or dessert?
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Jealousy Leads to Confession of Murder
Wadsworth
You were jealous that your husband was schtupping Yvette. That's why you killed him, too.
Mrs. White
Yes. Yes, I did it. I killed Yvette. I hated her, so much...it flames, flames on the side of my face, breathing, heaving breaths, heaving...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Misunderstanding Among Unlikely Characters
Mrs. White
Are you a cop?
Mr. Green
No, I'm a plant.
Ms. Scarlet
A plant? I thought men like you were usually called a fruit.
Mr. Green
Very funny. FBI. That call from J. Edgar Hoover was for me. I told you I didn't do it!
[displays a badge in his wallet; heads to the front door]
Chief
All right, who done it?
Mr. Green
They all did it! But if you wanna know who killed Mr. Boddy, I did, in the hall, with the revolver. Okay, Chief, take em away. I'm gonna go home and sleep with my wife.
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Accusations Fly Over Mysterious Shooting
Professor Plum
It must've been Mr. Green who shot the singing telegram!
Mr. Green
I didn't do it!
Col. Mustard
Well, there's nobody else left!
Mr. Green
But I didn't do it! The gun is missing! Whoever's got the gun shot the girl!
Wadsworth
I shot her.
Col. Mustard, Mrs. Peacock, Mrs. White, Ms. Scarlet, Prof. Plum
You?!
Mr. Green
So it was you. I was going to expose you.
Wadsworth
I know. So I choose to expose myself.
Col. Mustard
Please! There are ladies present.
Wadsworth
You thought Mr. Boddy was dead, but why? None of you even met him until tonight.
Mr. Green
You're Mr. Boddy!
Prof. Plum
Wait a minute! So who did I kill?
Wadsworth
My butler.
Prof. Plum
Oh, shucks.
Wadsworth
He was expendable, like all of you. I'm grateful to you all for disposing of my network of spies and informers. Saved me a lot of trouble. Now there's no evidence against me.
Mrs. White
This all has nothing to do with my disappearing nuclear physicist husband or Colonel Mustard's work on the new top secret fusion bomb?
Wadsworth
No. Communism is just a red herring.
Mr. Green
But the police will be here any minute. You'll never get away with this, any of you.
Wadsworth
Why should the police come? Nobody's called them.
Mrs. Peacock
You mean-- Oh, my God! Of course!
Wadsworth
So why shouldn't we get away with it? We'll stack the bodies in the cellar, lock it, leave quietly one at a time, and forget that any of this ever happened.
Mr. Green
And you'll just- just go on blackmailing us all.
Wadsworth
Of course. Why not?
Mr. Green
Well, I'll tell you why not.
Wadsworth
Oh, good shot, Green! And very good.
[slumps to the floor, reaches a hand inside his coat, and looks at the blood on his fingers; He dies]
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Mysterious Circumstances and Dark Humor
Wadsworth
Mrs. White, you've been paying our friend, the blackmailer, ever since your husband died under, shall we say, mysterious circumstances?
Miss Scarlet
Ah!
[laughs]
Mrs. White
Why is that funny?
Miss Scarlet
I see! That's why he was lying on his back, in his coffin.
Mrs. White
I didn't kill him.
Col. Mustard
Then why are you paying the blackmailer?
Mrs. White
I don't want a scandal, do I? We had had a very humiliating public confrontation. He was deranged. A lunatic. He didn't actually seem to like me very much; he had threatened to kill me in public.
Miss Scarlet
Why would he wanna kill you in public?
Wadsworth
I think she meant he threatened, in public, to kill her.
Miss Scarlet
Oh. Was that his final word on the matter?
Mrs. White
Being killed is pretty final, wouldn't you say?
Wadsworth
And yet, he was the one who died, not you, Mrs. White, not you!
Miss Scarlet
What did he do for a living?
Mrs. White
He was a scientist. Nuclear physics.
Miss Scarlet
What was he like?
Mrs. White
He was always a rather stupidly optimistic man. I mean, I'm afraid it came as a great shock to him when he died, but, he was found dead at home. His head had been cut off, and so had his, uh, you *know*. I had been out all evening at the movies.
[Colonel Mustard, Professor Plum, and Mr. Green cross legs]
Miss Scarlet
Do you miss him?
Mrs. White
Well, it's a matter of life after death. Now that he's dead, I have a life.
Wadsworth
But, he was your second husband. Your first husband also disappeared.
Mrs. White
But that was his job. He was an illusionist.
Wadsworth
But he never reappeared!
Mrs. White
He wasn't a very good illusionist.
[admittedly]
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Miscommunication in a Confined Space
Col. Mustard
Wadsworth, am I right in thinking there's nobody else in this house?
Wadsworth
Um... no.
Col. Mustard
Then there is someone else in this house?
Wadsworth
Sorry, I said "no" meaning "yes.
Col. Mustard
No" meaning "yes?" Look, I want a straight answer, is there someone else, or isn't there, yes, or no?
Wadsworth
No.
Col. Mustard
No there is, or no there isn't?
Wadsworth
Yes.
Mrs. White
PLEASE! Don't you think we should get that man out of the house before he finds out what's been going on here!
[Smashes glass on fireplace]
Miss Scarlet
Yeah!
Professor Plum
How can we throw him outside in this weather?
Miss Scarlet
If we let him stay in the house, he may get suspicious!
Professor Plum
If we throw him out, he may get even more suspicious!
Col. Mustard
If I were him, I'd be suspicious already!
Mrs. Peacock
Oh, who cares? That guy doesn't matter! Let him stay locked up for another half an hour. The police will be here by then... and there are two dead bodies in the study!
[hysterical]
All
Shhhhhhhhhhh!
Col. Mustard
Well, there is still some confusion as to whether or not there is anybody else in this house!
Wadsworth
I told you, there isn't.
Col. Mustard
There isn't any confusion, or there isn't anybody else?
Wadsworth
Either! Or both.
Col. Mustard
Just give me a clear answer!
Wadsworth
Certainly! What was the question?
[clears throat]
Col. Mustard
Is there anybody else in this house?
[shouting]
All
No!
[shouting]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.