30 quotes
The Weight of Lost Hope and Patience
Dr. Jonas
Have you ever been in a place from which hope is gone? Where the only thing left... is patience?
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Desire for Comprehensive Information on Someone
Dr. Jonas
In one hour, I want to know what she eats, where she sleeps, the name of her kindergarten teacher, everything.
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Assertion of Rights in a Tense Encounter
Jerry Fletcher
I am an American citizen! I have a right to be here!
Alice Sutton
Officers! Officers, please! I'm Alice Sutton. I'll take it from here.
Jerry
Hi, Alice.
[suddenly calm]
Alice
You need to start making appointments.
Jerry
Uh... can I make one now? Say, in a couple of minutes? I can wait if you're busy.
Alice
Come around.
Alice
I don't see the connection.
Jerry
You don't see the connection? Come on. Six major earthquakes in the last three-and-a-half years, and the space shuttle up in orbit for every single one of em. Don't you think that's a little strange?
Alice
Testing some top-secret seismic weapon?
Jerry
No, not testing. Using. Nukes are passé. We're talking weapon of the future.
Alice
Okay, but I still don't see what it has to do with the president.
Jerry
The president is in Europe at the moment, and tomorrow he'll be, uh, in Turkey. Right here, along this fault line. And they sent up a space shuttle yesterday.
Alice
Motive?
Jerry
Motive? How about fifty billion dollars, how's that for a motive? The president's cutting funding for NASA, the milk-cow of the aerospace industry. And that's a lot of milk.
Alice
Um, so... you're telling me that NASA is going to kill the president of the United States with an earthquake
Jerry
It's not the kind of thing a Secret Service agent can, like, just throw himself on top of, is it?
Alice
Now, I have to go. My boss is looking to yell at me.
Jerry
Oh. Do you want me to talk to him? You know, smooth things out for you?
Alice
No, Jerry. I want you to go home, or wherever it is that you go. And I want you to make an appointment next time. Please? You can't just keep bursting in here.
Jerry
That's... it's just what they'd be expecting me to do. If I make an appointment —
Alice
Jerry. I have a serious job here. I have a boss I must answer to. Do you understand that?
Jerry
I'm sorry. You're right.
Alice
Use your common sense.
Jerry
Okay. Okay, deal. So, are you gonna warn him?
Alice
Who?
Jerry
The president.
[exasperated sigh]
Alice
I'm not gonna promise you anything, okay?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Warning Signs of Troubling Behavior
Alice Sutton
That guy is a restraining order waiting to happen. It's like he has a problem with the world.
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Whisper Mode of Black Helicopters Explained
Jerry Fletcher
Black helicopters, right? You've heard about them, black helicopters? Yeah, they're on, they're on whisper mode, so you can't hear em till they've already gone! You know?
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Unusual Water Main Break Sparks Curiosity
Flip [news vendor]
Water main broke all the way up on 40th Street and 7th Avenue. They say the subway's a damn river.
Jerry
Strange.
Flip
What's up, Jerry? What you thinking?
Jerry
Well... water mains don't usually break unless it's wintertime. The, uh, pipes burst open because it's cold. And.. it's only the First of October.
Flip
Reminds me of life in the Delta.
Jerry
Yeah. Mississippi, all right.
Flip
Mekong, my friend. Mekong.
Jerry
Hey, Flip... did I ever tell you that the whole Vietnam War was fought over a bet that Howard Hughes lost to Aristotle Onassis?
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Questioning Safety of Objects and Their Use
Jerry Fletcher
Why is this thing safe for me and not for my keys?
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Identity Misunderstanding in Conspiracy Theory
Jerry Fletcher
You're after a man with no nose, not me! Not me!
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Fluoride and Its Alleged Effects on Freedom
Jerry Fletcher
You know what they put in the water, don't you? Fluoride. Yeah, fluoride — on the pretext that it strengthens your teeth! That's ridiculous. You know what that stuff does to you? It weakens your will, destroys your capacity for free and creative thought, and makes you a slave to the state!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perceptions of Alternative Media and Beliefs
Jerry Fletcher
Websites, newsletters, uh, self-published manifestos... they think we're kooks!
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Questioning Oswald's Innocence
Jerry Fletcher
]. Yeah, Oswald, that's what I said, Oswald. I mean, he said, "I'm just a patsy." And that means he didn't do it, right?
[[w:Lee Harvey Oswald|Oswald]
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Searching for Someone Significant
Dr. Jonas
We've been looking for you for a long time, Jerry.
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Manipulation of Words and Intentions
Dr. Jonas
This will put my words in your mouth.
[while drugging Jerry]
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Trust and Coffee Appreciation
Alice Sutton
I believe you. He made great coffee.
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Suspicion About New Currency Design
Jerry Fletcher
Is that one of those new hundreds? You know, where they changed the picture of Ben Franklin? Look at him, yeah. He looks like the love child of-of, uh, Fred Mertz and Rosie O'Donnell! Yeah, that's him, yeah. Get rid of it as soon as you can, lady. Look at it up in the light. You see that metal strip? That's a tracking device!
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Moment of Mental Frustration
Jerry Fletcher
It's on the tip of my brain.
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Social Conditioning in Childhood Education
Jerry Fletcher
They, they start when you're young, you know, in school. They Baden-Powell all the boys and-and they Betty Crocker all the girls!
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Paranoia Driven by Perceived Threats
Jerry Fletcher
I'm only paranoid because they want me dead.
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Critique of the Vatican's Influence
Jerry Fletcher
Hey, don't get me wrong, Sister, I'm sure your heart's in the right place, okay? But somebody's gotta lift the scab, the festering scab, that is the Vatican. (to a nun riding in his cab)
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Demand for Transparency as an American Citizen
Jerry Fletcher
I am an American citizen, and I demand to see Alice Sutton.
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A Character's Regret Over a Loss
Jerry Fletcher
Alice? I... I'm sorry you're dead.
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Accepting Shared Responsibility for Outcomes
Dr. Jonas
I know I must share some of the blame for this. I wish it didn't have to be this way.
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Unexpected Connections in Relationships
Dr. Jonas
Jerry, you continually surprise me. Alice… I always seem to come between you and the men in your life.
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Transformation into a Jerry
Alice Sutton
I'm turning into a Jerry.
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The Nature of Unprovable Conspiracies
Jerry Fletcher
A good conspiracy is unprovable. I mean, if you can prove it, it means they screwed up somewhere along the line.
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The Complexity of Love and Desire
Jerry Fletcher
The sound of love.
Passenger
Excuse me?
Jerry
That, what you just did. That's love.
[imitates sigh]
Passenger
Love's just a pretty way of saying, "I want to sleep with you.
Jerry
Admit it. I saw you kiss her. This is the street where love lives.
Passenger
Love is bullshit.
Jerry
Love give you wings. It makes you fly. I don't even call it love. I call it "Geronimo".
Passenger
Geronimo?
Jerry
Yeah, Geronimo. See, when you're in love, you'll jump off the Empire State and you won't care. Screaming, "Geronimo" all the way down. It's great.
Passenger
Yeah, but then you'll die. You'll squash yourself. So what's the point?
Jerry
Hey, aren't you listening? I'm telling you, man — love gives you wings!
Passenger
She must be some girl.
[laughs]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Alien Protection Measures
Alice Sutton
Is that supposed to protect you from aliens or something?
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The Uncertainty of Truth and Knowledge
Alice Sutton
Do you know what it's like, Mister Willion, to think you know what happened, but to never be sure?
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Militia Groups and Conspiracy Theories Explained
Jerry Fletcher
You ever wonder about these militia groups? Survivalist-type kooks on the right wing side? They say they're defending the country from U.N. troops. These guys are yelling so loud, my theory is that this is a conspiracy, pal — they ARE the U.N. troops, and they're in place. The infrastructure's ready, it's a fait accompli. When the time comes, they'll just take over and we'll all be toast.
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Conspiracy Theories and Political Manipulation
Jerry Fletcher
George Bush knew what he was doing when he said, "New World Order". Remember those three little words, "New World Order"? Well, he was a thirty-third degree Mason, you know, and as ex-head of the C.I.A., he knew saying that would send conspiratologists everywhere spinning, spinning their wheels. And then, then, th-they destroy their own credibility!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.