Conspiracy Theory (1997) - Quotes

Assertion of Rights in a Tense Encounter

Jerry Fletcher: I am an American citizen! I have a right to be here!

Alice Sutton: Officers! Officers, please! I'm Alice Sutton. I'll take it from here.

Jerry: [suddenly calm] Hi, Alice.

Alice: You need to start making appointments.

Jerry: Uh... can I make one now? Say, in a couple of minutes? I can wait if you're busy.

Alice: Come around.

Alice: I don't see the connection.

Jerry: You don't see the connection? Come on. Six major earthquakes in the last three-and-a-half years, and the space shuttle up in orbit for every single one of em. Don't you think that's a little strange?

Alice: Testing some top-secret seismic weapon?

Jerry: No, not testing. Using. Nukes are passé. We're talking weapon of the future.

Alice: Okay, but I still don't see what it has to do with the president.

Jerry: The president is in Europe at the moment, and tomorrow he'll be, uh, in Turkey. Right here, along this fault line. And they sent up a space shuttle yesterday.

Alice: Motive?

Jerry: Motive? How about fifty billion dollars, how's that for a motive? The president's cutting funding for NASA, the milk-cow of the aerospace industry. And that's a lot of milk.

Alice: Um, so... you're telling me that NASA is going to kill the president of the United States with an earthquake

Jerry: It's not the kind of thing a Secret Service agent can, like, just throw himself on top of, is it?

Alice: Now, I have to go. My boss is looking to yell at me.

Jerry: Oh. Do you want me to talk to him? You know, smooth things out for you?

Alice: No, Jerry. I want you to go home, or wherever it is that you go. And I want you to make an appointment next time. Please? You can't just keep bursting in here.

Jerry: That's... it's just what they'd be expecting me to do. If I make an appointment —

Alice: Jerry. I have a serious job here. I have a boss I must answer to. Do you understand that?

Jerry: I'm sorry. You're right.

Alice: Use your common sense.

Jerry: Okay. Okay, deal. So, are you gonna warn him?

Alice: Who?

Jerry: [exasperated sigh] The president.

Alice: I'm not gonna promise you anything, okay?

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Unusual Water Main Break Sparks Curiosity

Flip [news vendor]: Water main broke all the way up on 40th Street and 7th Avenue. They say the subway's a damn river.

Jerry: Strange.

Flip: What's up, Jerry? What you thinking?

Jerry: Well... water mains don't usually break unless it's wintertime. The, uh, pipes burst open because it's cold. And.. it's only the First of October.

Flip: Reminds me of life in the Delta.

Jerry: Yeah. Mississippi, all right.

Flip: Mekong, my friend. Mekong.

Jerry: Hey, Flip... did I ever tell you that the whole Vietnam War was fought over a bet that Howard Hughes lost to Aristotle Onassis?

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The Complexity of Love and Desire

Jerry Fletcher: The sound of love.

Passenger: Excuse me?

Jerry: [imitates sigh] That, what you just did. That's love.

Passenger: Love's just a pretty way of saying, "I want to sleep with you.

Jerry: Admit it. I saw you kiss her. This is the street where love lives.

Passenger: Love is bullshit.

Jerry: Love give you wings. It makes you fly. I don't even call it love. I call it "Geronimo".

Passenger: Geronimo?

Jerry: Yeah, Geronimo. See, when you're in love, you'll jump off the Empire State and you won't care. Screaming, "Geronimo" all the way down. It's great.

Passenger: Yeah, but then you'll die. You'll squash yourself. So what's the point?

Jerry: Hey, aren't you listening? I'm telling you, man — love gives you wings!

Passenger: [laughs] She must be some girl.

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Unexpected Connections in Relationships

Dr. Jonas: Jerry, you continually surprise me. Alice… I always seem to come between you and the men in your life.

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Manipulation of Words and Intentions

Dr. Jonas: [while drugging Jerry] This will put my words in your mouth.

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Desire for Comprehensive Information on Someone

Dr. Jonas: In one hour, I want to know what she eats, where she sleeps, the name of her kindergarten teacher, everything.

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Accepting Shared Responsibility for Outcomes

Dr. Jonas: I know I must share some of the blame for this. I wish it didn't have to be this way.

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The Weight of Lost Hope and Patience

Dr. Jonas: Have you ever been in a place from which hope is gone? Where the only thing left... is patience?

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Searching for Someone Significant

Dr. Jonas: We've been looking for you for a long time, Jerry.

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Trust and Coffee Appreciation

Alice Sutton: I believe you. He made great coffee.

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Transformation into a Jerry

Alice Sutton: I'm turning into a Jerry.

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Questioning Alien Protection Measures

Alice Sutton: Is that supposed to protect you from aliens or something?

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The Uncertainty of Truth and Knowledge

Alice Sutton: Do you know what it's like, Mister Willion, to think you know what happened, but to never be sure?

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Warning Signs of Troubling Behavior

Alice Sutton: That guy is a restraining order waiting to happen. It's like he has a problem with the world.

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Moment of Mental Frustration

Jerry Fletcher: It's on the tip of my brain.

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A Character's Regret Over a Loss

Jerry Fletcher: Alice? I... I'm sorry you're dead.

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The Nature of Unprovable Conspiracies

Jerry Fletcher: A good conspiracy is unprovable. I mean, if you can prove it, it means they screwed up somewhere along the line.

Identity Misunderstanding in Conspiracy Theory

Jerry Fletcher: You're after a man with no nose, not me! Not me!

Social Conditioning in Childhood Education

Jerry Fletcher: They, they start when you're young, you know, in school. They Baden-Powell all the boys and-and they Betty Crocker all the girls!

Paranoia Driven by Perceived Threats

Jerry Fletcher: I'm only paranoid because they want me dead.

Questioning Safety of Objects and Their Use

Jerry Fletcher: Why is this thing safe for me and not for my keys?

Whisper Mode of Black Helicopters Explained

Jerry Fletcher: Black helicopters, right? You've heard about them, black helicopters? Yeah, they're on, they're on whisper mode, so you can't hear em till they've already gone! You know?

Suspicion About New Currency Design

Jerry Fletcher: Is that one of those new hundreds? You know, where they changed the picture of Ben Franklin? Look at him, yeah. He looks like the love child of-of, uh, Fred Mertz and Rosie O'Donnell! Yeah, that's him, yeah. Get rid of it as soon as you can, lady. Look at it up in the light. You see that metal strip? That's a tracking device!

Critique of the Vatican's Influence

Jerry Fletcher: Hey, don't get me wrong, Sister, I'm sure your heart's in the right place, okay? But somebody's gotta lift the scab, the festering scab, that is the Vatican. (to a nun riding in his cab)

Conspiracy Theories and Political Manipulation

Jerry Fletcher: George Bush knew what he was doing when he said, "New World Order". Remember those three little words, "New World Order"? Well, he was a thirty-third degree Mason, you know, and as ex-head of the C.I.A., he knew saying that would send conspiratologists everywhere spinning, spinning their wheels. And then, then, th-they destroy their own credibility!

Demand for Transparency as an American Citizen

Jerry Fletcher: I am an American citizen, and I demand to see Alice Sutton.

Perceptions of Alternative Media and Beliefs

Jerry Fletcher: Websites, newsletters, uh, self-published manifestos... they think we're kooks!

Questioning Oswald's Innocence

Jerry Fletcher: [[w:Lee Harvey Oswald|Oswald] ]. Yeah, Oswald, that's what I said, Oswald. I mean, he said, "I'm just a patsy." And that means he didn't do it, right?

Militia Groups and Conspiracy Theories Explained

Jerry Fletcher: You ever wonder about these militia groups? Survivalist-type kooks on the right wing side? They say they're defending the country from U.N. troops. These guys are yelling so loud, my theory is that this is a conspiracy, pal — they ARE the U.N. troops, and they're in place. The infrastructure's ready, it's a fait accompli. When the time comes, they'll just take over and we'll all be toast.

Fluoride and Its Alleged Effects on Freedom

Jerry Fletcher: You know what they put in the water, don't you? Fluoride. Yeah, fluoride — on the pretext that it strengthens your teeth! That's ridiculous. You know what that stuff does to you? It weakens your will, destroys your capacity for free and creative thought, and makes you a slave to the state!