Choose Your Daddy This Christmas
Taglines:
This Christmas choose your Daddy
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Boxing Day Showdown Awaits
Taglines:
The gloves are off this Boxing Day
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Value of Family in Life
Taglines:
Family is worth fighting for
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflict Between Dad and Step-Dad
Taglines:
Dad vs step-dad.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Treehouse Construction and Misunderstood Tools
Brad Whitaker:
You built all this today? With my tools?
Dusty Mayron:
Oh, no, you can't build a treehouse with a tampon, Brad.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Step-King's Frustration with the King
Brad Whitaker:
The step-king has had enough of the king's BULLSHIT!
Dusty Mayron:
Brad said a bad word.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Epic Fantasy Duel Between Kings
Dusty Mayron:
So the King raised his mighty sword and rained steel down upon the Step King.
Brad Whitaker:
But the Step King blocked it with his shield. And swung his cat o'nine tails into the King's smug face.
Dusty Mayron:
Which the King easily brushed aside like the feather of a gull. And then the King did counter with a barrage of slashes and thrusts so fast and precise the Step King had no way to party.
Megan, Dylan:
Yay!
Dusty Mayron:
But he did. He did. He parried all of them. Easily. It was no big deal.
Megan, Dylan:
Aww.
Brad Whitaker:
Then he grabbed the King's sword right out of his hand and smashed it over his knee.
Megan, Dylan:
Boo!
Dusty Mayron:
That's when the King pulled out a pump-action Mossberg shotgun!
Brad Whitaker:
Which is completely anachronistic. So if we're gonna be doing any time period, then the Step King just happened to be wearing Kevlar body armor.
Dusty Mayron:
Concussion grenade!
Brad Whitaker:
Hand grenade.
Dusty Mayron:
Rocket launcher.
Brad Whitaker:
Missile launcher.
Dusty Mayron:
Air strike.
Brad Whitaker:
Nuclear strike.
Dusty Mayron:
Black hole.
Brad Whitaker:
God.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dad-off Challenge Begins
Dusty Mayron:
It looks like we got our self's a dad-off, Brad.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Meaning of Fatherhood and Family Love
Brad Whitaker: [narrating; video of copulating rhinos; driving; making sandwiches in the kitchen; Dylan and Megan walk in]
Here's a question for you. What do kids need more, a father or a dad? What's the difference? The way I see it, darn near anyone can be a father... ...but not everyone has the patience or the devotion to be a dad. As for me, I've always wanted to be a dad. Let me tell you, I love it! Yeah! And I love my Ford Flex. It treats me to a smooth ride, and you know what? It didn't break the bank. Room enough for the whole family. Yes, I love being a dad. And I love these two adorable little rays of sunshine.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
