9 quotes
Boxing Day Showdown Awaits
Taglines
The gloves are off this Boxing Day
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Value of Family in Life
Taglines
Family is worth fighting for
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Meaning of Fatherhood and Family Love
Brad Whitaker
Here's a question for you. What do kids need more, a father or a dad? What's the difference? The way I see it, darn near anyone can be a father... ...but not everyone has the patience or the devotion to be a dad. As for me, I've always wanted to be a dad. Let me tell you, I love it! Yeah! And I love my Ford Flex. It treats me to a smooth ride, and you know what? It didn't break the bank. Room enough for the whole family. Yes, I love being a dad. And I love these two adorable little rays of sunshine.
[narrating; video of copulating rhinos; driving; making sandwiches in the kitchen; Dylan and Megan walk in]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Step-King's Frustration with the King
Brad Whitaker
The step-king has had enough of the king's BULLSHIT!
Dusty Mayron
Brad said a bad word.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dad-off Challenge Begins
Dusty Mayron
It looks like we got our self's a dad-off, Brad.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Choose Your Daddy This Christmas
Taglines
This Christmas choose your Daddy
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Treehouse Construction and Misunderstood Tools
Brad Whitaker
You built all this today? With my tools?
Dusty Mayron
Oh, no, you can't build a treehouse with a tampon, Brad.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflict Between Dad and Step-Dad
Taglines
Dad vs step-dad.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Epic Fantasy Duel Between Kings
Dusty Mayron
So the King raised his mighty sword and rained steel down upon the Step King.
Brad Whitaker
But the Step King blocked it with his shield. And swung his cat o'nine tails into the King's smug face.
Dusty Mayron
Which the King easily brushed aside like the feather of a gull. And then the King did counter with a barrage of slashes and thrusts so fast and precise the Step King had no way to party.
Megan, Dylan
Yay!
Dusty Mayron
But he did. He did. He parried all of them. Easily. It was no big deal.
Megan, Dylan
Aww.
Brad Whitaker
Then he grabbed the King's sword right out of his hand and smashed it over his knee.
Megan, Dylan
Boo!
Dusty Mayron
That's when the King pulled out a pump-action Mossberg shotgun!
Brad Whitaker
Which is completely anachronistic. So if we're gonna be doing any time period, then the Step King just happened to be wearing Kevlar body armor.
Dusty Mayron
Concussion grenade!
Brad Whitaker
Hand grenade.
Dusty Mayron
Rocket launcher.
Brad Whitaker
Missile launcher.
Dusty Mayron
Air strike.
Brad Whitaker
Nuclear strike.
Dusty Mayron
Black hole.
Brad Whitaker
God.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.