Death Proof (2007) - Quotes

Cashing In for a New Life

Hobo with a Shotgun: He's cashing in his nickels and dimes for a new way of life.

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Confrontation and Demands for Answers

Hobo with a Shotgun: HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN! He's pissed! And he wants answers!

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A Warning Against Solo Viewing

Don't: [''in a monotonous voice''] If you are thinking of seeing this film alone, DON'T! Don't.

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A Warning Against Exploring the Basement

Don't: If you... were thinking... of checking out... the basement... DON'T!

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A Warning Against Opening the Door

Don't: If you... were thinking... of opening... that door... DON'T!

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A Warning Against Entering the House

Don't: If you... were thinking... of going... into... this house... DON'T!

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Confrontation with Adversaries in Death Proof

Machete: They just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

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A Killer's Confidence and Charisma

Machete: He knows the score. He gets the women. And he kills the bad guys.

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Be Prepared Before Hiring Machete

Machete: If you're gonna hire Machete to kill the bad guy, you better make damn sure the bad guy isn't YOU!

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A Character's Declaration of Purpose

Werewolf Women of the SS: [''bursts into sinister laughter''] Fu Manchu: THIS... is my Mecca!

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Nicolas Cage's Unique Role in Werewolf Women

Werewolf Women of the SS: And Nicolas Cage...as...Fu Manchu!

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Questioning Lana Frank's Whereabouts

Shanna: Where the hell is Lana Frank?!

Julia: That's a good fucking question!

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Defining Attractive Qualities in a Partner

Jungle Julia: [''to Butterfly''] What about kinda cute, kinda hot, kind of sexy, hysterically funny but not funny looking guy who you could fuck did you not understand?

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A Playful Interaction Among Friends

Kim: Oh you know I can't let you go...

Abernathy: Kim?

Kim: Not without tappin that ass...

Zoe: Umm Kim?

Kim: One... More... Time!

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Discussion on Gun Ownership and Licensing

Lee: You carry a gun?

Kim: Uh-Huh.

Lee: Do you have a license to carry it?

Kim: Yeah, when I became a secret service agent, they gave me a license.

Lee: Oh, I didn't know you were. Ok. I didn't say it. Stop looking at me. I didn't say it. God! Did you know Kim carried a gun?

Abernathy: Yes. Yeah. Do I approve? No. Do I know? Yes.

Kim: I don't know what futuristic utopia you live in, but in the world I live in, a bitch needs a gun.

Abernathy: You can't get around the fact that people who carry guns, tend to get shot more than people who don't.

Kim: And you can't get around the fact that if I go down to the laundry room in my building at midnight enough times, I might get my ass raped!

Lee: Don't do your laundry at midnight.

Kim: Fuck that! I wanna do my laundry whenever the fuck I want to do my laundry.

Abernathy: There are other things you can carry other then a gun. Pepper spray.

Kim: Uh, muthafucka tryin to rape me, I don't want to give him a skin rash. I wanna shut that nigga down!

Abernathy: How about a knife at least.

Kim: Yeah, you know what happens to muthafuckas who carry knives. They get shot! Look, if I ever become a famous actress, I won't carry a gun. I'll hire me a dude dirt nigga and he'll carry the gun, and when shit goes down, I'll sit back and laugh, but until that day, it's wild west muthafucka!

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The Illusion of Safety in Stuntman Mike's Car

Pam: Hey, I, I get it. It's just a joke. I know all about jokes but if you can just let me out now, I promise I won't tell anybody because I know it's a joke. Please just-

Stuntman Mike: [''slams on the brakes and sends Pam face first into the dashboard, killing her''] Hey Pam, remember how I said this car is death proof? Well that wasn't a lie, this car is a hundred percent death proof. But in order to get the full benefit of it honey, you really need to be sitting in my seat.

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Choosing Directions in Conversation

Stuntman Mike: Alright Pam, which way are you heading?

Pam: Right.

Stuntman Mike: That's too bad...

Pam: Why?

Stuntman Mike: Well there was a fifty-fifty chance on which direction you'd take. You see we're both going left, you could've just as easily been going the same and if that happened it might have been awhile before you started to get scared. But seein as you're going right, I'm afraid you're gonna have to get scared...immediately.

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Miscommunication About Intentions in a Ride

Pam: [''to Julia and Abernathy''] Listen, double fucks, he's just giving me a ride. I'm not gonna fuck him!

Stuntman Mike: I can hear you.

Pam: [''walks further away from him; lowers her voice''] He's old enough to be my dad!

Stuntman Mike: I can still hear you!

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Pathways to Becoming a Stuntman

Pam: How did you get into the stuntman industry?

Stuntman Mike: I'd assume the way everyone else gets into it.

Pam: How is that?

Stuntman Mike: My brother got me into it.

Pam: And who's your brother?

Stuntman Mike: Stuntman Bob.

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Character Introduction in Death Proof

Pam: So what's your name, Icy?

Stuntman Mike: Stuntman Mike.

Pam: Stuntman Mike's your name?

Stuntman Mike: You ask anybody.

Pam: Hey, Warren. Who is this guy?

Warren: Stuntman Mike.

Pam: And who the hell is Stuntman Mike?

Warren: He's a stuntman.

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Fear and Attraction in a Unique Encounter

Stuntman Mike: [''Arlene nods''] Do I frighten you? Is it my scar?

Arlene: It's your car.

Stuntman Mike's Farewell to the Ladies

Stuntman Mike: [''laughs''] Hey! Ladies! That was fun. Well... Adios!

Reflection on Promises and Journey Ahead

Stuntman Mike: The woods are lovely, dark and deep, and I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep. Do you hear me, Butterfly? Miles to go before you sleep.

Stuntman Mike's Unique Bookkeeping System

Stuntman Mike: [''after Arlene turns him down for a lapdance''; ''in a [[John Wayne] Well, that's alright. You're still a nice girl, and I still like you. But you know how people say ] drawl] "you're okay in my book" or "in my book that's no good"? Well, I actually have a book. And everybody I ever met goes in this book, and now I've met you, and you're going in the book too. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to file you under chicken...shit.

Preparation for a Thrilling Ride

Stuntman Mike: Get ready to fly, bitch!

Sweetness Compared to Salt

Stuntman Mike: Well, ain't you so sweet that you make sugar taste just like salt!

The Nature of Violence and Consequences

Quentin Tarantino/Rapist: You know what this is?

Cherry: A gun?

Quentin Tarantino/Rapist: [''pokes her forehead''] It's simplicity itself. You see you point it at what you want to die, then you pull the little trigger here, and a little bullet comes out here and the bullet hits you right there. And you know what? You don't look like Ava Gardner no more.

Barbecue Sauce and Unexpected Consequences

J.T.: [''after being uncocious on the floor tastes the BBQ sauce in his shirt''] I finally found my award-winning barbecue sauce!

Sheriff Hague: Your blood's on it.

J.T.: [''after tasting the blood on his head''] God damn it, he's right.

Food Preferences and Personal Choices

J.T.: Hey, hey. You want some barbeque? Best in Texas.

Cherry: Oh, no thanks.

J.T.: What's the matter? You don't eat meat?

Cherry: Oh, I eat meat. I also eat lots of shit.

Cherry: [''grins''] See that?

J.T.: What's that?

Cherry: Shit-eating grin.

J.T.: [''laughs''] You ought to be a comedian.

Unusual Strippers in Unique Locations

Planet Terror: Quentin Tarantino/Rapist: I ain't never seen a one-legged stripper. I've seen a stripper with one breast. I've seen one with twelve toes. But I ain't never seen one with one leg...and I've been to Morocco.