32 quotes
A Killer's Confidence and Charisma
Machete
He knows the score. He gets the women. And he kills the bad guys.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Preparation for a Thrilling Ride
Stuntman Mike
Get ready to fly, bitch!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cashing In for a New Life
Hobo with a Shotgun
He's cashing in his nickels and dimes for a new way of life.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion on Gun Ownership and Licensing
Lee
You carry a gun?
Kim
Uh-Huh.
Lee
Do you have a license to carry it?
Kim
Yeah, when I became a secret service agent, they gave me a license.
Lee
Oh, I didn't know you were. Ok. I didn't say it. Stop looking at me. I didn't say it. God! Did you know Kim carried a gun?
Abernathy
Yes. Yeah. Do I approve? No. Do I know? Yes.
Kim
I don't know what futuristic utopia you live in, but in the world I live in, a bitch needs a gun.
Abernathy
You can't get around the fact that people who carry guns, tend to get shot more than people who don't.
Kim
And you can't get around the fact that if I go down to the laundry room in my building at midnight enough times, I might get my ass raped!
Lee
Don't do your laundry at midnight.
Kim
Fuck that! I wanna do my laundry whenever the fuck I want to do my laundry.
Abernathy
There are other things you can carry other then a gun. Pepper spray.
Kim
Uh, muthafucka tryin to rape me, I don't want to give him a skin rash. I wanna shut that nigga down!
Abernathy
How about a knife at least.
Kim
Yeah, you know what happens to muthafuckas who carry knives. They get shot! Look, if I ever become a famous actress, I won't carry a gun. I'll hire me a dude dirt nigga and he'll carry the gun, and when shit goes down, I'll sit back and laugh, but until that day, it's wild west muthafucka!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Stuntman Mike's Unique Bookkeeping System
Stuntman Mike
Well, that's alright. You're still a nice girl, and I still like you. But you know how people say ] drawl] "you're okay in my book" or "in my book that's no good"? Well, I actually have a book. And everybody I ever met goes in this book, and now I've met you, and you're going in the book too. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to file you under chicken...shit.
[''after Arlene turns him down for a lapdance''; ''in a [[John Wayne]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Illusion of Safety in Stuntman Mike's Car
Pam
Hey, I, I get it. It's just a joke. I know all about jokes but if you can just let me out now, I promise I won't tell anybody because I know it's a joke. Please just-
Stuntman Mike
Hey Pam, remember how I said this car is death proof? Well that wasn't a lie, this car is a hundred percent death proof. But in order to get the full benefit of it honey, you really need to be sitting in my seat.
[''slams on the brakes and sends Pam face first into the dashboard, killing her'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Warning Against Opening the Door
Don't
If you... were thinking... of opening... that door... DON'T!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Character's Declaration of Purpose
Werewolf Women of the SS
Fu Manchu: THIS... is my Mecca!
[''bursts into sinister laughter'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Pathways to Becoming a Stuntman
Pam
How did you get into the stuntman industry?
Stuntman Mike
I'd assume the way everyone else gets into it.
Pam
How is that?
Stuntman Mike
My brother got me into it.
Pam
And who's your brother?
Stuntman Mike
Stuntman Bob.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Sweetness Compared to Salt
Stuntman Mike
Well, ain't you so sweet that you make sugar taste just like salt!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Warning Against Solo Viewing
Don't
If you are thinking of seeing this film alone, DON'T! Don't.
[''in a monotonous voice'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Playful Interaction Among Friends
Kim
Oh you know I can't let you go...
Abernathy
Kim?
Kim
Not without tappin that ass...
Zoe
Umm Kim?
Kim
One... More... Time!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Food Preferences and Personal Choices
J.T.
Hey, hey. You want some barbeque? Best in Texas.
Cherry
Oh, no thanks.
J.T.
What's the matter? You don't eat meat?
Cherry
Oh, I eat meat. I also eat lots of shit.
Cherry
See that?
[''grins'']
J.T.
What's that?
Cherry
Shit-eating grin.
J.T.
You ought to be a comedian.
[''laughs'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Be Prepared Before Hiring Machete
Machete
If you're gonna hire Machete to kill the bad guy, you better make damn sure the bad guy isn't YOU!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unusual Strippers in Unique Locations
Planet Terror
Quentin Tarantino/Rapist: I ain't never seen a one-legged stripper. I've seen a stripper with one breast. I've seen one with twelve toes. But I ain't never seen one with one leg...and I've been to Morocco.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Warning Against Entering the House
Don't
If you... were thinking... of going... into... this house... DON'T!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Lana Frank's Whereabouts
Shanna
Where the hell is Lana Frank?!
Julia
That's a good fucking question!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Warning Against Exploring the Basement
Don't
If you... were thinking... of checking out... the basement... DON'T!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Brain Consumption for Knowledge Acquisition
Planet Terror
Doctor Block: I'm gonna eat your brains and gain your knowledge.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Character Introduction in Death Proof
Pam
So what's your name, Icy?
Stuntman Mike
Stuntman Mike.
Pam
Stuntman Mike's your name?
Stuntman Mike
You ask anybody.
Pam
Hey, Warren. Who is this guy?
Warren
Stuntman Mike.
Pam
And who the hell is Stuntman Mike?
Warren
He's a stuntman.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Defining Attractive Qualities in a Partner
Jungle Julia
What about kinda cute, kinda hot, kind of sexy, hysterically funny but not funny looking guy who you could fuck did you not understand?
[''to Butterfly'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Stuntman Mike's Farewell to the Ladies
Stuntman Mike
Hey! Ladies! That was fun. Well... Adios!
[''laughs'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Miscommunication About Intentions in a Ride
Pam
Listen, double fucks, he's just giving me a ride. I'm not gonna fuck him!
[''to Julia and Abernathy'']
Stuntman Mike
I can hear you.
Pam
He's old enough to be my dad!
[''walks further away from him; lowers her voice'']
Stuntman Mike
I can still hear you!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Nicolas Cage's Unique Role in Werewolf Women
Werewolf Women of the SS
And Nicolas Cage...as...Fu Manchu!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflection on Promises and Journey Ahead
Stuntman Mike
The woods are lovely, dark and deep, and I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep. Do you hear me, Butterfly? Miles to go before you sleep.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation with Adversaries in Death Proof
Machete
They just fucked with the wrong Mexican.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Barbecue Sauce and Unexpected Consequences
J.T.
I finally found my award-winning barbecue sauce!
[''after being uncocious on the floor tastes the BBQ sauce in his shirt'']
Sheriff Hague
Your blood's on it.
J.T.
God damn it, he's right.
[''after tasting the blood on his head'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Self Preservation
Planet Terror
Doctor Block: Self preservation comes to mind.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation and Demands for Answers
Hobo with a Shotgun
HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN! He's pissed! And he wants answers!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Fear and Attraction in a Unique Encounter
Stuntman Mike
Do I frighten you? Is it my scar?
[''Arlene nods'']
Arlene
It's your car.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Nature of Violence and Consequences
Quentin Tarantino/Rapist
You know what this is?
Cherry
A gun?
Quentin Tarantino/Rapist
It's simplicity itself. You see you point it at what you want to die, then you pull the little trigger here, and a little bullet comes out here and the bullet hits you right there. And you know what? You don't look like Ava Gardner no more.
[''pokes her forehead'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Choosing Directions in Conversation
Stuntman Mike
Alright Pam, which way are you heading?
Pam
Right.
Stuntman Mike
That's too bad...
Pam
Why?
Stuntman Mike
Well there was a fifty-fifty chance on which direction you'd take. You see we're both going left, you could've just as easily been going the same and if that happened it might have been awhile before you started to get scared. But seein as you're going right, I'm afraid you're gonna have to get scared...immediately.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.