A Call to the People from Leadership
Mr. President:
My children, whom I love so dearly, it has been my duty in the long and difficult years since the World Crash of 79 to serve you as best I could. Never before in history have masses forgone all comfort, so that the spirit of genius might thrive and seek the golden key to a new time of plenty in the fertile field of minority privilege. And now, my children, the drivers are ready. The world is waiting. Once more, I give you what you want.
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Zany Janey's Racing Journey and Aspirations
Junior Bruce:
Zany Janey, winner of this year's trials at Watkins Glen, placed second in 1998 and led in last year's second lap until she went out with gear trouble. Her fans and lovers everywhere wish Janey better luck this year.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Junior Bruce Introduces the Race Event
Junior Bruce:
All right, all right! This is Junior Bruce, your buddy-buddy and mine. And I'll be giving you the blow-by-blow, play-by-play when the kings and queens of the open road roar onto the track! Do I hear the sound of engines? It's Calamity Jane Kelly, queen of the road, at the wheel of that mean, ornery stud bull!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Celebrating the Trans-Continental Road Race
Deacon:
O great American multitude and sports fans everywhere. Today, we inaugurate the 20th Annual Trans-Continental Road Race. Today, the five bravest young men and women in this greatest of nations will risk their lives in the greatest sporting event since the days of Spartacus! Three days hence, a new American champion will be crowned for all the world to behold, in awe, in respect, in fear!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
