Unexpected Confessions Among Friends
Muffy's Friend:
Holy shit Mole, what happened to you?!
Mole:
Oh, Muffy just gave me an abortion.
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Conflict Between Unlikely Roommates
Peggy:
You obviously belong in a mental hospital!
Grizelda:
Look who's calling the kettle black! She's just upset, now be easy on her!
Peggy:
I will not! I don't want some renegade necrophile princess as my roommate!
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Unconventional Expressions of Love and Desire
Princess Coo-Coo:
Herbert!
Herbert:
Coo-Coo, Coo-coo! Oh, Coo, I worship the ground you walk on. I couldn't keep my mind on my work all morning. Every piece of trash I had to pick up reminded me of you! An old candy wrapper made me think of how sweet you are. A snotty Kleenex made me realize how much I'd cry if we ever had to part. An old rubber made me think of all the nights of eros we have before us. I love you, Coo-coo.
Princess Coo-coo:
Oh Herbert, I masturbated 14 times last night just thinking of you, and when I finally did fall asleep, my dreams were not exactly dry. Take me now, Herbert! Take me in front of the whole town!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Identity and Desire in Desperate Living
Muffy:
Sometimes I need a man.
Mole:
I'm a man, Muffy! A man trapped in a woman's body!
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Seeking Shelter After Trauma
Peggy:
We were raped! Please, give us shelter!
Mole:
You were raped?!
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Sisterhood and Conflict in Desperate Living
Grizelda:
We killed your husband, and I ain't your maid any more, bitch! I'm your sister in crime!
Peggy:
Please, don't sit on me!
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Escalating Conflict and Frustration in Domestic Life
Peggy: [''opens the window'']
I knew they'd try it! Try to kill me in my own home! It's like war! Don't tell me I don't know what Vietnam is like! Brats! Brats! Brats!
Child:
Oh, I'm sorry Mrs. Gravel. I'll pay for the window out of my allowance.
Peggy: [''moves away from the window in a rage and throws a vase, breaking it, then moves back to the window'']
How about my LIFE? Do you get enough allowance to pay for that?! I know you were trying to kill me! What's the matter with the courts? Do they allow this lawlesness and malicious destruction of property to run rampant? I HATE THE SUPREME COURT! Go home to your mother! Doesn't she ever watch you? Tell her this isn't some communist day-care center! Tell your mother I hate her! Tell your mother I HATE YOU!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Contrasting Perspectives on Desire and Work
Officer:
You like lingerie?! How do you like these little numbers? I sent away to em from Fredrick's. They was expensive. I love the feel of cold nylon on my big butt!
Princess Coo-coo:
Herbert doesn't care if I have ears, he only cares about my mind!
Flipper:
You lazy bitch! I'm out working my tail off all day and you're in there fucking midgets!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Threat of Violence and Chaos
Mole:
I'm going to BLOW YOUR BOWELS OUT!
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Loss of Identity and Organs
Mole:
Now I won't have any organs! It'll be like having a Barbie doll crotch!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Value of American Currency in Germs
Muffy:
Good old germ-carrying American currency!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Muffy's Exciting Announcement About New Beginnings
Muffy: [''talking to her breasts'']
Hi big boys! I bet you didn't know Mommy won the Maryland lottery, yes! I'm going to be buying you lots of new push-up bras, so get ready for your new home! Things are going to be looking up for you two!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Extreme Hunger Expression
Muffy:
I'm so hungry I could eat cancer!
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Demanding Unconventional Actions in Desperation
Muffy:
Come on, bitch! Eat some dog food! Eat it! Eat it, you bitch! Put my baby in the refrigerator!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Queen Carlotta's Command for Action
Queen Carlotta:
Seize her and fuck her!
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Queen Carlotta's Concern About Her Gown
Queen Carlotta:
I hope you didn't leave no pecker tracks on my gown!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Fashion Critique from Queen Carlotta
Queen Carlotta:
Hey morons, you got your clothes on backwards!
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Queen Carlotta's Frustration Revealed
Queen Carlotta:
That little MF!
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Queen Carlotta's Provocative Expression of Desire
Queen Carlotta: [while having sex with one of her guards]
Oh, that love muscle! Whip it out and show it hard! Oh come on daddy, fuck me! Oh grow little inchworm!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Queen Carlotta's Call for Transformation
Queen Carlotta:
Take them to our ugly expert, and give them a complete overhaul!
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Sisterhood Beyond Domestic Expectations
Grizelda Brown: [[''to Peggy'']
] I ain't your maid anymore, bitch! I'm your sister in crime!
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Grizelda's Stance on Personal Privacy
Grizelda Brown: [[''to Mr. Gravel'']
] I don't want no white man lookin at my Tampax!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration with Constant Complaining
Grizelda Brown: [''to Peggy'']
I am sick of listenin to your bitchin'. The next time you feel a fit comin on, go outside and bitch. Bitch at the air. Bitch at the trees. But don't bitch at us!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Repetitive Plea for Descent
Grizelda Brown: [''while sitting on Mr. Gravel's face'']
Down, down, down, down, down, down, down! Down, down, down, down, down!
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Confronting Aggression in Desperate Living
Grizelda Brown: [''comes into the room wielding a broom'']
Back off, asshole!
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Expression of Exasperation and Disbelief
Grizelda Brown:
Good God almighty.
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Critique of Local Community Dynamics
Peggy Gravel:
You're just like the rest of the common dykes in this town!
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Peggy's Distaste for Nature's Intrusion
Peggy Gravel:
You know I hate nature! Look at those disgusting trees, stealing my oxygen!
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Questioning the Nature of Existence
Peggy Gravel:
Am I living in hell?! Is that it?! Have I gone straight to hell?!
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Peggy's Outrage Over Disturbing Behavior
Peggy Gravel: [''the children are playing doctor in the nude'']
Sodomites! Caught right in a sex orgy! You dirty filthy...! Is that what you learned in private school?! Nude, nude, nude! You could be pregnant, Beth! And as for you, I never thought you would rape your own SISTER! Oh God, the children are having SEX!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration Over a Wrong Number Call
Peggy Gravel: [''the phone rings'']
Hello? What number are you calling? You've dialed the wrong number! SORRY? What good is that? How can you ever repay the 30 seconds you have STOLEN FROM MY LIFE! I hate you, your husband, your children and your relatives!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
