13 quotes
Rodrick Embraces His Inner Gangster
Rodrick Heffley
I feel like a gangster right now!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Critique of Camp Gear and Authenticity
Frank Heffley
Hey, what is that? A store-bought s'mores maker? A TV?! Pre-tied knots?! Stan, you're a phony! So much for the big camper.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Confessions Between Friends
Rowley
In case we don't make it, there's something I have to tell you. One time I went to the bathroom and I didn't wash my hands.
Greg
One time, I used your toothbrush to get dog poop off my shoe.
Rowley
What?!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Video Game Skills vs. Real Sports Experience
Rowley
I've never actually played tennis before...
Greg
We've played Ultimate Tennis on the Wii. It's basically the same thing.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Camping Expectations vs. Reality
Greg Heffley
A refrigerator? Ready-made meals? And a TV? This isn't camping!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Song Dedicated to Heather Hills
Rodrick Heffley
This song goes out to a very special little lady. Heather Hills... this one's for you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Yearbook Signing and Family Conversations
Rodrick
Aww your getting your yearbook signed. That is so cute.
[to Greg]
Greg
What the heck?
[after seeing a picture of himself in the yearbook as a toddler]
Susan
Honey, Greg was sick on picture day. Did you remember to send in a photo of him for his yearbook?
Frank
Yeah! I remembered!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Threatening Declaration from Heather
Heather
No. NO! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!
[after Rodrick knocks down her ice bust; enraged; picks up a microphone stand and walks over to him; lividly]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Family Swim Day at the Pool
Greg
I can't believe it's so crowded here. School isn't even out yet. Maybe we should come back.
Rodrick
How bout never? Does never sound good?
Susan
Boys, a family swim is a great way to kick off the summer.
Frank
Let's not forget! Opening day is free!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Learning from Mistakes and Responsibility
Frank Heffley
You know what my grandpa always used to say? "A man who never made a mistake never made anything. The trick is to be responsible and to learn from your mistakes." And you can do that. You're a really great kid, Greg. And I'm not just saying that because we're a lot alike.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Disappointment Expressed in Family Dynamics
Greg
Are you mad?
Frank
Not mad... just disappointed.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Rodrick Heffley's Unusual Command
Rodrick Heffley
Loaded diaper, activate.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Revelations Between Siblings
Greg
When did you get a tattoo!?
Rodrick
There's a lot of things you don't know about me, Greggy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.