29 quotes
Kissinger Questions Presidential Priorities
Henry Kissinger
Excuse me, Mr. President. I was not informed that you were in the middle of... what the hell ARE you in the middle of?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Prejudice and Language Choices
Betsy Jobs
You kicked Checkers, you're prejudiced, and you have a potty mouth!
[To Richard Nixon]
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Political Commentary on Youth and Truth
Bob Haldeman
I have met yams with more going on upstairs than these two.
Bob Haldeman
You wanna complain about Vietnam? Talk to Johnson!
Mrs. Spinnler
Every lie is another brick in the pathway to hell.
G. Gordon Liddy
Children! Running around, all hours of the night! When you kids grow up, you'll be living in the Soviet Union of America!
[Surprised by Betsy and Arlene in the Watergate stairwell]
Chip
Figures that the pain in my ass is Nixon, the fascist.
[After sticking himself with an election pin]
Larry
Whatever she's on, I didn't give it to her.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Flag Etiquette and Legal Boundaries
Betsy Jobs
Isn't it against the law to cut up the flag?
Arlene Lorenzo
Not if you sew it back together.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Empowerment Amidst Dismissal of Youth
Arlene Lorenzo
How dare those people treat us like we're stupid teenage girls.
Betsy Jobs
We are stupid teenage girls.
Arlene Lorenzo
No. We're human beings, and we're American citizens. And four score and seven years ago our forefathers... did something. I don't know what. But I do know one thing - Dick's ass is grass!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Empower Yourself Beyond External Control
Betsy Jobs
You can't let Dick control your life!
[Shouting, to Arlene]
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Questioning Legitimacy in Unusual Circumstances
John Ehrlichman
What's going on? Who are these girls?
Henry Kissinger
I dunno. But it doesn't look constitutional to me.
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Unexpected Revelations about Deep Throat's Identity
Bob Woodward
You're Deep Throat?
Arlene Lorenzo
Yeah.
Betsy Jobs
We both are.
Bob Woodward
How old are you?
Betsy Jobs
23.
Bob Woodward
Is that your combined ages?
Betsy Jobs
Ugh, there's no need to be snotty!
[takes off her sunglasses]
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Nixon's Connection with the Youth
President Richard M. Nixon ('Dick')
I've got a way with young people. They trust me.
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The Impact of War on Innocence
Arlene Lorenzo
War is not healthy for children and other living things.
[quoting a popular anti-Vietnam War protest slogan, originally created by poster artist Lorraine Schneider]
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Access to the President's Office
Rose Mary Woods
The President is a very busy man. He doesn't just see anyone, you know.
President Nixon
Ah, hello girls! Come on in.
[Exiting the Oval Office, seeing the girls]
Rose Mary Woods
The President will see you now.
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Taking Responsibility in Administration
Henry Kissinger
I'll take responsibility here. I'll be the only person in this administration who's willing to take responsibility for anything.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Legal Implications of Incest
Betsy Jobs
It's called incest, Arlene, and it's against the law.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Nixon's Threat to Checkers and the Chinese
President Richard M. Nixon ('Dick')
Checkers - shut up! Or I'll feed you to the Chinese!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggling with Frustration and Insanity
Arlene Lorenzo
He's trying to drive me insane!
[After seeing Nixon's "I am not a crook" speech immediately after a threatening call]
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Intelligence and Isolation in Friendship
Betsy Jobs
You're the smartest person I know.
Arlene Lorenzo
But you don't know anybody...
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Identity and Recognition in Unexpected Encounters
G. Gordon Liddy
Young lady, I am a very busy man...
Betsy
Hey, you look familiar. Have I seen you before?
Betsy
Are you that guy that sells corn dogs at the mall?
G. Gordon Liddy
As far as you are concerned, young lady, I have no identity. In fact, I'm not even here...
[sinister]
Betsy
He's way weirder than corndog guy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstanding a White House Role
Betsy Jobs
Are you, like, the President's Dog Walker?
John Dean
I'm John Dean. Chief White House Counsel.
Betsy Jobs
Oh, That's too bad.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concern About Dick's Downward Spiral
Carl Bernstein
Dick is going down, man!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Expressing affection for Dick
Arlene Lorenzo
I love Dick!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Fear of Dick's Presence
Arlene Lorenzo
Dick frightens me.
[Being followed by the President's 'plumbers']
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Kissinger's Casual Acknowledgment of Young Ladies
Henry Kissinger
It's alright, gentlemen. I'm familiar with these two young ladies. Well, not "familiar", familiar, obviously. I mean, I know them. We discussed foreign policy. Don't you give me that look!
[A secret service agent rolls his eyes knowingly]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Authority and Consequences in Politics
President Richard M. Nixon ('Dick')
You don't mess with the big boys!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unveiling the Mystery of Deep Throat
Interviewer
In 1974, President Richard M. Nixon was forced to resign in shame following the Watergate Scandal. One of the great mysteries of this event was the identity of Deep Throat', the person who broke the story to Washington Post reporters Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein. Well tonight, we're going to find out. Bob Woodward, Carl Bernstein, good evening.
Bob Woodward
Good evening.
Carl Bernstein
Good evening.
Interviewer
Let's get straight to it - who is... Deep Throat'?
Bob Woodward
Well, first of all, we're not telling you. And second of all, I thought I was going to be the only guest on tonight's show?
Carl Bernstein
Well I guess you're not, Bob.
[Bitchy]
Interviewer
You know, you guys are getting pretty old now...
Carl Bernstein
Well, what do you mean by that?!
Interviewer
Well, I was just wondering if you were ever going to reveal who Deep Throat is ever, before you die.
Bob Woodward
Well, a lot bigger names than you have asked us that, so I don't think we're going to reveal it here.
Carl Bernstein
No, not on a little show like this.
Interviewer
You know what I think? I mean, I'm just gonna come right out and say it. I don't think there ever was any such person as Deep Throat'. I think y'all just made it up.
[Exasperated]
Carl Bernstein
Yes there was! Deep Throat was -
Bob Woodward
Don't say it!! He's trying to trick us!
Carl Bernstein
I'm sorry...
[Putting a hand on Woodward's shoulder]
Bob Woodward
Don't ever touch me.
[Slapping the hand away]
Carl Bernstein
Bob, I said I'm sorry!
Bob Woodward
Don't... will you... you smell like cabbage!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Pressure of a School Report and Politics
Arlene Lorenzo
We have a very important school report on turquoise jewelry due in two days, and we can't find any books on it, and the President's having us followed. It's too much pressure.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Presidential Etiquette in Dog Care
Betsy Jobs
Checkers pooped.
Rose Mary Woods
Girls, the President's dog doesn't "poop." He "does his business.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concerns Over CREEP List and Personal Life
Carl Bernstein
What about that list from CREEP? How could you let your dog eat it?! You're ruining my life!!!
[Hysterical]
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Tricky Character Outshined by Others
Taglines
He was tricky. They were better.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Unmaking of a President
Taglines
The unmaking of the president
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.