Django Unchained (2012) - Quotes

Taglines: The D is silent. Payback won't be.

Taglines: This Christmas, Django is off the chain.

Taglines: Once upon a time in the south.

Taglines: Life, liberty and the pursuit of vengeance.

Billy Crash: D-Jango, you black son of a bitch!

Django: [shoots Crash in the head] The D is silent, hillbilly.

Cora: Do what now?

Django: I said, tell Ms. Lara goodbye?

Cora: [Django shoots Lara, knocking her into the next room] Bye, Ms. Lara!

Django: [Cora and Sheba flee from the mansion] Y’all you two run along now. Stephen, how you like my new duds? You know, before now I didn't know that burgundy was my color.

Stephen: I count six shots, nigger.

Django: [shoots Stephen in his right knee] I count two guns, nigger. You said in 76 years on this plantation, you seen all manner-a shit done to niggers. But I notice, you didn't mention kneecappin'.

Stephen: Oh God! Motherfucker! Damn it!

Django: [Django shoots Stephen in his left knee, who collapses screaming] Seventy-six years, Stephen. How many niggers you see come and go, huh? Seven thousand? Eight thousand? Nine thousand? Nine thousand, nine hundred and ninty nine? Every single word that came out of Calvin Candie's mouth was nothin but horseshit. But he was right about one thing: I am that one nigger in 10,000.

Billy Crash: [To Django; holding a knife to Django's groin; Django screams in pain; Django yells a muffled "please!"] So y'all bounty hunters, huh? I knew there was somethin fishy bout y'all. We found your wanted posters and book of figures in your saddle bags. I gotta say, I ain't never hearda no black bounty hunter before. Black boy paid to kill white men, how'd ya like that kinda work? Probably pretty good while it lasted, huh? Time to say goodbye to them nuts, blackie. On three. One. I gotcha. Two. Calm down now, here it comes.

Stephen: Captain? Miss Lara wanna see you. Somethin to do with the old man's funeral. Oh, and she changed her mind bout snippin Django. She gonna give em to the LeQuint Dickey people.

Billy Crash: [annoyed] Well she didn't waste a minute tellin me. How disappointing.

Calvin Candie: White cake?

Dr. King Schultz: I don't go in for sweets, thank you.

Candie: You brooding bout me getting the best of ya, huh?

Schultz: Actually, I was thinking of that poor devil you fed to the dogs today, D'Artagnan. And I was wondering what Dumas would make of all this.

Candie: Come again?

Schultz: [[w:Alexander Dumas|Alexander Dumas; [w:The Three Musketeers|''The Three Musketeers''] ]. He wrote ].

Candie: Yes of course, doctor.

Schultz: I figured you must be an admirer. You named your slave after his novel's lead character. If Alexander Dumas had been there today, I wonder what he would have made of it?

Candie: You doubt he'd approve, huh?

Schultz: Yes. His approval would be a dubious proposition at best.

Candie: Soft-hearted Frenchy.

Schultz: Alexander Dumas is black.

Django: He's your nigger.

Calvin Candie: Mr. Stonecipher! Let Marsha and her bitches send D'Artagnan to nigger heaven.

Mr. Stonecipher: Marsha! Tear into him! (D'Artagnan screams as the dogs devour him alive.)

Candie: Your boss looks a little green around the gills for a blood sport like nigger-fighting.

Django: Nah. He just ain't used to seeing a man ripped apart by dogs is all.

Candie: You are used to it?

Django: I'm just a little more used to Americans than he is.

Amerigo Vessepi: What's your name?

Django: Django.

Vessepi: Can you spell it?

Django: D-J-A-N-G-O... the D is silent.

Vessepi: [[Django (1966 film)|I know] ].

Hoot: [To Django] The name of the game is "keep up", not "catch up", nigger.

Django: Touch your guns, you die.

Calvin Candie: Everybody calm down! I saw the whole thing, no harm done.

One of Candie's men: Are you kiddin me? This nigger--

Candie: I said "no harm done"! Now take your hand off your pistol!

Candie: Butch, that means you too.

Candie: [Django holsters his pistol] Everybody stop antagonizing my guest. Hoot! Get back up on your horse.

Hoot: He broke my collarbone!

Candie: For God sake, somebody please help Hoot here back up on his Goddamn horse.

Billy Crash: Oh, you are one lucky nigger.

Django: You better listen to your boss, white boy.

Billy Crash: Oh, I'ma go walkin in the moonlight with you.

Django: You wanna hold my hand?

Django Freeman: How you know Brunhilde's first master's was German?

Dr. King Schultz: Brunhilde is a German name. If they named her it stands to reason they'd be German.

Django: Lots of gals where you from named Brunhilde?

Schultz: Brunhilde is the name of a character in the most popular of all the German legends.

Django: There's a story bout Brunhilde?

Schultz: Yes there is.

Django: Do you know it?

Schultz: [Django nods; [w:Brynhildr|Brunhilde] Oh, every German knows that story. Would you like me to tell you? Well, ] was a princess. She was the daughter of Wotan, god of all gods. Anyway her father is really mad at her.

Django: What'd she do?

Schultz: I can't exactly remember. She disobeys him in some way. So he puts her on top of a mountain.

Django: Brunhilde's on a mountain?

Schultz: It's a German legend, there's always going to be a mountain in there somewhere. And he puts a fire-breathing dragon there to guard the mountain, and he surrounds her in a circle of hellfire. And there Brunhilde shall remain unless a hero arises brave enough to save her.

Django: Does a fella arise?

Schultz: Yes Django, as a matter of fact he does. A fella named Sigfried.

Django: Does Sigfried save her?

Schultz: [nods] Quite spectacularly so. He scales the mountain because he's not afraid of it. He slays the dragon because he's not afraid of him. And he walks through hellfire because Brunhilde's worth it.

Django: I know how he feels.

Schultz: I think I'm just starting to realize that. Look, Django, I don't doubt that one day you'll save your lady love, but I can't let you go into Greenville in a good conscience. A slave auction town in Mississippi isn't the place for you to visit, free or not it's just too dangerous. But let me ask you a question: how do you like the bounty hunting business?

Django: Kill white folks and they pay you for it? What's not to like?

Schultz: I have to admit we make a good team.

Django: I thought you was mad at me for killin Big John and Little Raj.

Schultz: Yeah, on that occasion you were a tad overzealous, but normally that's a good thing. How'd you like to partner up for the winter?

Django: Whatcha mean partner up?

Schultz: You work with me through the winter till the snow melts. I give you a third of my bounties so we make some money this winter and when the snow melts I'll take you to Greenville myself and we'll find where they sent your wife.

Django: Why you care what happens to me? Why you care if I find my wife?

Schultz: Frankly, I've never given anybody their freedom before, and now that I have I feel vaguely responsible for you. Plus when a German meets a real-life Sigfried that's kind of a big deal. As a German I'm obliged to help you on your quest to rescue your beloved Brunhilde.

Spencer Big Daddy Bennett: [puts his bag on] Now, unless they start shootin first, nobody shoot em. That's way too simple for these jokers. We're gonna whup that nigger lover to death. And I'm gonna personally strip and clip that garboon myself! Damn. I can't see fuckin shit out of this thing!

Bradshaw: Are we ready or what?

Big Daddy: [tears his bag] Ah hold on, I'm fuckin with my eye holes! Oh shit. I just made it worse!

Tennessee Redfish: Who made this goddamn shit?!

O.B.: Willard's wife.

Willard: Well make your own goddamn mask!

Big Daddy: Look! Nobody's sayin they don't appreciate what Jenny did.

Redfish: Well if all I had to do was cut a hole in a bag, I coulda cut it better than this!

O.B.: What about you, Robert? Can you see?

Robert: Not too good. I mean, if I don't move my head I can see you pretty good. More or less. But when I start ridin', the bag's movin all over and I'm ridin blind.

Randy: [tearing his bag] Shit. I just made mine worse. Anybody bring any extra bags?

Terry: No! Nobody brought an extra bag!

Randy: I'm just askin'!

Doug: Do we have to wear em when we ride?

Big Daddy: Oh well shitfire! If you don't wear em as you ride up that just defeats the purpose!

Redfish: [ripping off his bag] Well I can't see in this fucking thing! I can't breathe in this fucking thing and I can't ride in this fucking thing!

Willard: [tears off his mask; rides away] Well fuck all, y'all! I'm goin home! Ya know, I watched my wife work all day gettin thirty bags together for you ungrateful sons of bitches, and all I can hear is criticize, criticize, criticize! From now on, don't ask me or mine for nothin'!

Big Daddy: Now look, let's not forget why we're here. We gotta kill a nigger over that hill there, and we gotta make a lesson outta em.

Randy: Okay I'm confused. Are the bags on or off?

Robert: [The crowd agrees and starts to remove the bags] I think, we all think, the bags was a nice idea. But not pointin any fingers, they coulda been done better. So how about no bags this time, but next time, we do the bags right, and then we go full regalia.

Big Daddy: [Crowd stops] Wait a minute! I didn't say no bags.

Randy: But nobody can see.

Big Daddy: So?

Randy: So it'd be nice to see.

Big Daddy: Goddammit! This is a raid! I can't see! You can't see! So what? All that matters is can the fuckin horse see! That's a raid!

Dr. King Schultz: [entering on horseback] Who were they?

Django: He's the one hightailin it across that field right now.

Schultz: [aims his rifle] You sure that's him?

Django: Yeah.

Schultz: Positive?

Django: I dunno.

Schultz: You don't know if you're positive?

Django: I dunno what positive means.

Schultz: It means you're sure.

Django: Yes.

Schultz: Yes what?

Django: [Schultz fires, knocking Ellis to the ground] Yes I'm sure that's Ellis Brittle. I'm positive he dead.

Dr. King Schultz: Mr. Bennett, I must remind you Django is a free man. You cannot treat him like a slave. Now, within the bounds of good taste, he must be treated as an extension of myself.

Spencer Big Daddy Bennett: Understood, Schultz. Betina, sugar?

Betina: Yes sir?

Big Daddy: Django isn't a slave. Django is a free man. You can't treat him like any of the other niggers around here cause he ain't like any of the other niggers around here. You got it?

Betina: [Schultz nods] You want I should treat him like white folks?

Big Daddy: No. That's not what I said.

Betina: Then I don't know what you want, Big Daddy.

Big Daddy: [thinks a moment, turning to one of the enslaved house servants] Yes, I can see that. Ah, what's the name of that peckerwood boy from town that works with the glass? His momma worked over at the lumber yard.

House Servant: Oh, you mean Jerry.

Big Daddy: That's the boy's name. Jerry! Betina, you know Jerry. Don't you, sugar?

Betina: Yes sir, Big Daddy.

Big Daddy: Well, that's it then! Just treat him like you would Jerry.

Marshal Gill Tatum: You in the saloon! You got a hundred rifles aimed at every way outta that buildin'! You got one chance to get out of this alive! You and your nigger come out right now with your hands over your head and I mean right now!

Dr. King Schultz: Is this the marshal I have the pleasure of addressing?

Marshal: Yes it is. This is U.S. Marshal Gill Tatum.

Schultz: [Marshal Tatum spits out some tobacco] Na wunderbar, Marshal! I have relieved myself of all weapons, and just as you have instructed I am ready to step outside with my hands raised above my head! I trust, as a representative of the criminal justice system of the United States of America, I shan't be shot down in the street by either you or your deputies before I've had my day in court!

Marshal: You mean like you did our Sheriff? Shot em down like a dog in the street!

Schultz: Yes that's exactly what I mean! Do I have your word as a lawman not to shoot me down like a dog in the street?

Marshal: Well... much as we'd all enjoy seein something like that, ain't nobody gonna cheat the hangman in my town.

Schultz: [to Django] Fair enough, Marshal. Here we come! They're a little tense out there, so don't make any quick movements and let me do the talking.

Marshal: Come ahead. You unarmed?

Schultz: Yes, indeed we are. Marshal Tatum, may I address you and your deputies, and apparently the entire town of Daughtrey, as to the incident that just transpired?

Marshal: Go on.

Schultz: My name is Dr. King Schultz. Like yourself, Marshal, I'm a servant of the court. The man lying dead in the dirt, who the good people of Daughtrey saw fit to elect as their sheriff, who went by the name of Bill Sharp, is actually a wanted outlaw by the name of Willard Peck, with a price on his head of two hundred dollars. Now that's two hundred dollars, dead or alive.

Marshal: The hell you say!

Schultz: Well I'm aware this is probably disconcerting news, but I'm willing to wager this man was elected Sheriff sometime in the past two years?

Marshal: Yeah.

Django: I'll be damned.

Django: What kinda dentist are you?

Django: No.

Django: What's a bounty?

Django: You kill people? And they give you a reward?

Django: Bad people?

Ace Speck: Move it!

Dr King Schultz: My good man, did you simply get carried away with your dramatic gesture, or are you pointing that weapon at me with lethal intention?

Ace Speck: (cocks rifle) Last chance, fancy pants.

Dr Schultz: Oh very well. (drops his latern and draws his revolver, shooting Ace and Dicky's horse in the head, the latter falling under the rider and crushing his leg)

Dr Schultz: I'm sorry to put a bullet in your beast, but I didn't want you to do anything rash before you had a moment to come to your senses.

Dicky Speck: You goddamn son of a bitch! You shot Roscoe! And you killed Ace!

Dr Schultz: I only shot your brother once he threatened to shoot me, and I believe I have (counts slaves) one, two, three, four, five, six, seven witness who can attest to that fact.

Dicky Speck: My leg's busted!

Dr Schultz: (drily) No doubt.

Old Man Carrucan: Django... Django... Django... You got sand, Django. Boy's got sand! I got no use for a nigger with sand. I want you to burn a runaway "R" right his cheek, and the girl, too. I want you to take them to the Greenville auction and sell em. Both of em… separately. And this one… you will sell him cheap.

Stephen: [Last words] DJANGO! You uppity son of a--

Stephen: [To Django] Your black ass been all them motherfuckers at the big house could talk about for the last few hours. Seem like white folk ain't never had a bright idea in they life is comin up with all kinds of ways to kill your ass. Now mind you, most of them ideas had to do with fuckin with your fun parts. Now that may seem like a good idea, but truth is when you snip a nigga's nuts most of em bleed out in oh, about seven minutes. Most of em. Well, more than most. Then I says, "Shitfire, the niggers we sells to LeQuint Dickey got it worse than that!" And they still saying, "Let's whip him to death!" or "Throw him to the mandingos! Feed him to Stonesipher's dogs!" I said "What's so special about that? We do that shit all the time. Hell's bells, the niggers we sells to LeQuint Dickey got it worse than that!" Lo and behold! Out of nowhere, Miss Lara come up with the bright idea of givin your ass to the LeQuint Dickey Mining Company. And as a slave of the LeQuint Dickey Mining Company, henceforth till the day you die, all day, every day, you will be swingin a sledgehammer, turnin big rocks into little rocks. Now when you get there, they gonna take away your name, gi'ya a number and a sledgehammer and say, "Get to work!" One word of sass, they cuts out your tongue. They good at it too. You won't bleed out. Oh, they does that real good! They gonna work yout, all day, every day, till your back give out. Then they gonna hitcha in the head with a hammer, and throw your ass down the nigga hole, and that will be the story of you, Django!

Dr King Schultz: Do you know what they're going to call you? The "Fastest Gun in the South".

Dr King Schultz: [To slaves that had been chained to Django] Now as to you poor devils. So as I see it, when it comes to the subject of what to do next, you gentlemen have two choices. One, when I'm gone, you lift that horse off the remaining Speck and carry him to the nearest town, which would be at least thirty seven miles back the way you came. Or two, (throws them keys) you unshackle yourselves, take that rifle over there, put a bullet in his head, bury the two of them deep, and make your way to a more enlightened part of the country. The choice is yours. (starts to ride off, stops) Oh, and on the off-chance that there are any astronomy aficionados amongst you, the North Star is that one. Tata.

Calvin J. Candie: [slams hand on glass, shattering it] HEYYY! Now lay your palm FLAT on that tabletop! If you LIFT THOSE PALMS, OFF THAT TURTLE-SHELL TABLETOP, Mr. Pooch is gonna let loose with both barrels of that sawed-off! There have been A LOT OF LIES, said around this dinner table here tonight, but THAT you can believe!

Calvin J. Candie: [Showing Django and Schultz a human skull; [phrenology; Picking up a hacksaw; Saws a piece off the back of the skull, brushes it off, and holds it up; [Issac Newton; [Galileo; To Django] This is Ben. He's an old joe that lived around here for a long time, and I do mean a long damn time. Old Ben here took care of my daddy and my daddy's daddy. Till he up and keeled over one day, old Ben took care of me. Growin up the son of a huge plantation owner in Mississippi puts a white man in contact with a whole lotta black faces. I spent my whole life here, right here in Candyland, surrounded by black faces. Now seein em every day, day in and day out, I only had one question: why don't they kill us? Now right out there on that porch, three times a week for fifty years, old Ben here would shave my daddy with a straight razor. Now, if I was old Ben, I woulda cut my daddy's goddamn throat, an it wouldn't-a taken me no fifty years of doin neither. But he never did. Why not? See, the science of ] is crucial to understandin the separation of our two species. And the skull of the African here? The area associated with submissiveness is larger than any human or any other sub-human species on planet Earth. If you examine this piece of skull here you'll notice three distinct dimples. Here, here and here. Now, if I was holdin the skull of an ] or a ], these three dimples would be found in the area of the skull most associated with creativity. But this is the skull of old Ben. And in the skull of old Ben, unburdened by genius, these three dimples exist in the area of the skull most associated with servility. Now bright boy, I will admit you are pretty clever. But if I took this hammer here, and I bashed in your skull with it, you would have the same three dimples in the same place as old Ben.

Calvin J. Candie: Django and his friend in gray here, Dr. Schultz, are customers. And they are our guests, Stephen. And you, you old, decrepit bastard, are to show them every hospitality. You understand that?

Calvin J. Candie: Gentlemen, you had my curiosity. But now you have my attention.

Django: You want me to play a black slaver? Ain't nothin lower than the black slaver. A black slaver is lower than the head house nigger, and buddy, that's pretty fuckin low.