24 quotes
Language and Local Sensitivity in Conversation
Dr. Stone
I am so fucked.
Deputy Cotton
Watch your language doc.You're in the buckle of the bible belt here.Try saying fudge or something.
Dr. Stone
Fiddlesticks too strong?
Deputy Cotton
Depends.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Flirting in a Professional Setting
Dr. Stone
If you tell me you're here for a physical,you're gonna make my day.
Vialula
It's unprofessional to flirt with the patients.
Dr. Stone
I'm just on my way to Beverley Hills. Plastic surgery...Not that you'd need any.
Vialula
Nice try.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Vision Clarity Restored in Unexpected Moment
Woman with Glasses
There's a blurred spot in my vision... there... no, there, no, no...
Woman with Glasses
I'm cured.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Breakfast Offer Between Friends
Vialula
I'm going for breakfast, you want anything?
Nurse Packer
Mmm-hmmm, how about ]?
[[w:Bob Barker|Bob Barker]
Vialula
I'll see what I can do.
[snorts]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Discussion on Changes in Medicine
Dr. Hogue
Tell us about real doctoring Stone.You know,big-city medicine.
Dr. Stone
Well so much has changed in the forty years since you went to medical school doctor, I really wouldn't know where to start.
Dr. Hogue
Smart-ass.
Mayor Nicholson
Who got you good!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Moment to Blink
Vialula
You can blink now.
[to Dr. Stone, after skinny-dipping in the lake]
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Feeling Out of Place in Reality
Dr. Benjamin Stone
I'm in the Twilight Zone.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Rescuing a Pig in a Small Town
Vialula
You steal that pig?
Dr. Stone
Well, I heard she was wasting away in this one-pig town.
Vialula
And you thought you'd come back and rescue her.
Dr. Stone
Yeah, something like that.
Vialula
And what makes you think she'll take you back?
Dr. Stone
Because I love her.
Vialula
Go back to Los Angeles.
[pause; walks past him]
Dr. Stone
I don't want Los Angeles. I want you.
[pulls her back; kisses her]
Vialula
You got great tonsils.
Dr. Stone
That ain't all.
[smiles]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Critique of Medical Decision-Making
Dr. Aurelius Hogue
Well, nice work, Hollywood. You were just about to crack open the chest of a 6 year-old boy to cure a case of diarrhea. Now,listen up smart ass. Next time I tell you how to treat a patient of mine, you'd better damn well do it, doctor. I doubt you'd know crap from Crisco.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Trade Proposal Between Characters
Dr. Stone
You want to trade, the pig for the part?
Melvin
If you can part with the pig.
Dr. Stone
Good.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dinner Plans and Romantic Misunderstandings
Vialula
I suspect your version of romance is whatever will separate me from my panties.
Dr. Stone
No, I am just talking about dinner. Wear make-up, put on a dress. Panties are optional.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Urgent Medical Attention Required for Cardiac Crisis
Dr. Benjamin Stone
Listen doctor, I've got a boy here in cardiac crisis. You can't treat that with Coca-Cola or Bisquick. We're gonna have to use real medicine this time. Now I'm sending him to Athens General. You're his regular fucking doctor, you get your fat ass out of bed, get down there and go with him.
[to Dr. Hogue]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Bet Dispute Between Dr. Stone and Vialula
Dr. Stone
You know, I just thought of something. I guess I'm gonna have time to collect that ten dollars from Nick.
Vialula
You lost that bet.
Dr. Stone
Says who? I did not lose it.
Vialula
Says me.
Dr. Stone
Says you? You have no say in this bet - you are the bet.
Vialula
I don't care. The bet was for one week. You lost.
Dr. Stone
Ah, it's your word against mine.
Vialula
You mean you would sully my reputation for ten measly dollars?
Dr. Stone
Absolutely! I don't even know what sully means.
[laughs]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Small Town Secrets and Personal Privacy
Vialula
Can't poop in this town without everybody knowin what color it is.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Checking on Hogue and Melvin's Condition
Dr. Stone
How's Hogue?
Nancy Lee
Well, he's the same.
Dr. Stone
Melvin?
Nancy Lee
Same.
Dr. Stone
How's your dad?
Nancy Lee
Why don't ask me about Vialula?
Dr. Stone
Oh, ha ha. No, I mean what's there to ask really? I mean, so I guess she and Hank are...
Hank
You're in my chair.
Hank
Slide a bit, Nancy Lee. There is a man in the toilet sellin after shave. Now, what's that all about?
[sits down]
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Concern Over Surgical Safety
Dr. Aurelius Hogue
Check Hollywood for knives. I don't want him operating in case I sneeze or something.
[while being examined]
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Nurse Packer's Guidelines for Emergency Situations
Nurse Packer
When to call me, you've been stabbed, shot, poisoned, separated from an appendage, knocked or beaten unconscious, run over by a tractor mower, or generally about to bleed to death. Otherwise, leave me alone.
[reading from a note left by Doc Hogue]
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Dining Etiquette and Beauty Standards
Hank
I heard the women out there have their chests enlarged, their thighs vacuumed, and barf on purpose.
[about Los Angeles]
Lillian
Not while people are eating.
[hits Hank in the back of the head]
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Observation of a Celestial Object
Nancy Lee
Is that a star?
Hank
No, that's ].
[[w:Ted Danson|Ted Danson]
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Anticipation of a Glamorous Future
Dr. Benjamin Stone
Beverly Hills. The most beautiful women in the world. Plastic surgery. What do those three things have in common? Me, in less than a week.
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Frustration with Professional Expectations
Dr. Benjamin Stone
Okay, let's get something straight right now. I got eight years of higher education. I got one year of internship, I got one year of residency. I'm 70,000 dollars in debt. Now I'm waylaid in this heehaw hell, and you insist on clocking me in and out like I'm some kind of factory worker? Well no! N-O,no! This is where I draw the line.
[to Nurse Packer]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Timing and Commitment in Relationships
Dr. Stone
What are you talking about?
Mayor Nicholson
Timing. Same thing with women. And with southern women, well, they require a substantial commitment. You might have to stay here six months, I don't know, maybe more.
Dr. Stone
Are you a betting man, Nick?
Mayor Nicholson
Well, I have been known on occasion.
Dr. Stone
It'll take me about a week.
Mayor Nicholson
Wait a minute, you mean... Vialula in the center pocket?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Pause in the Conversation
Dr. Stone
The music's stopped.
[while dancing]
Vialula
What music?
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Unexpected Encounters and Playful Banter
Dr. Stone
Woah, who are you?
Vialula
Don't tease me.
Dr. Stone
No I'm serious.You look a lot like Lou,but you're a lot prettier.
Vialula
I'm warning you Stone, I could probably whoop you in a fistfight.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.