30 quotes
Globo Gym Purple Cobras' Confidence and Determination
White Goodman
We are the Globo Gym Purple Cobras, and we will, we will, rock you!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Challenge to Compete in Dodgeball
White Goodman
Ball me, Blazer.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Direct Challenge in Competitive Sports
Peter La Fleur
It's time to put your mouth where our balls are.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Convenience and Timing in Competition
White Goodman
Well, isn't that convenient for you... and the clock!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mutual Awareness and Understanding
White Goodman
I know you, you know you, and I know you know that I know you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Witty Remark on Timing and Activities
Peter La Fleur
Hey, White. I didn't think Nazi camp got out until eight. Did you decide to skip arts and crafts?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Transforming Self-Image Through Cosmetic Surgery
White Goodman
Of course you'll still be yourself in a legal sense, but think of it as a thinner, more attractive you than you could ever become without us. And with our competitively priced on-site cosmetic surgery, we can turn that Frankenstein you see in the mirror every morning, into a Franken Fine!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Having Goals
Peter La Fleur
I found that if you have a goal, you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I've gotta tell you, it feels phenomenal.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Globo Gym's Confidence in Superiority
White Goodman
Here at Globo Gym, we're better than you. And we know it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Confident Challenge in Las Vegas
White Goodman
Good luck losing with these losers in Las Vegas, La Fleur!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Shame in Competitive Sports
Peter La Fleur
Lance Armstong: So what are you dying from that's keeping you from the finals? Peter LaFleur: Right now it feels a little bit like... shame.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Challenge Accepted: Prepare for Humiliation
White Goodman
Cram it up your cram hole, LaFleur! Prepare to be humiliated on cable television.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Irony in Unexpected Situations
Peter La Fleur
I'd love to, but I don't think they make a "sorry your dodgeball coach just got crushed by two tons of irony" Hallmark card.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflecting on Past Transformation and Change
White Goodman
That's me, six years and six-hundred pounds ago.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Defiance in the Face of Injury
White Goodman
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood! Nobody!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Promoting Health and Community at Average Joe's Gym
Peter La Fleur
Hi, I'm Peter LaFleur, owner and operator of Average Joe's Gym. And I'm here to tell you, you're perfect just the way you are. But if you feel like losing a few pounds, getting healthier and making some great friends in the process, then Joe's is the place for you. Don't forget, youth dodgeball classes are forming right now. So come on down and learn a great game the way it's supposed to be played. Right, kids?
[in a commercial for Average Joe's, now newly renovated and successful]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Genetic Disorders and Personal Responsibility
White Goodman
Here at Globo Gym we understand that ugliness and fatness are genetic disorders, like baldness or necrophilia, and it's your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire for Intensity and Challenge
White Goodman
Turn it up high Reggie, I wanna burn.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation with Humor and Sarcasm
White Goodman
Go on and make your jokes Mr Jokey... Joke-maker!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Gym Ownership and Amenities Comparison
White Goodman
My gym has shareholders, yours haven't even got... cupholders!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Critique of a Gym's Reputation
White Goodman
Your "gym" is a skid-mark on the underpants of society.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Gratitude Toward a Martial Arts Icon
Peter La Fleur
Thank you, Chuck Norris.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Breaking Free from Work Relationships
White Goodman
Let's not find ourselves shackled by the bonds of employer-employee relations. Unless of course you're into that sort of thing, in which case I got some shackles in the back. Just kidding. But seriously, I've got em.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Irony of Freedom of Information
White Goodman
It's called the Freedom of Information Act for a reason. The hippies finally got something right. Just kidding. But not really.
[When asked how he knew where Kate lived]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mocking Intellectualism in Sports Commentary
White Goodman
Oh, now he's a philoso-phizer.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Taking Charge: A Metaphor for Leadership
White Goodman
Yeah, that's me taking the bull by the horns, it's how I like to run my business. It's a metaphor. But that actually happened though.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Truth Behind White Goodman's Confidence
White Goodman
I earned this body, and I built this temple with nothing more than some elbow grease and a little can-do attitude... and yes, a large inheritance from my father, Earl Goodman.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Illusion of Wealth in Reality
White Goodman
I don't know if you've ever seen a hundred thousand dollars before, except perhaps in the movies. But I can assure you, something gets lost in the translation.
[opens briefcase revealing single stack of bills]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Playful Admission of Mischief
White Goodman
I can be naughty too. Really freaky naughty... you a naughty freak?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Refusal to Sell the Gym
White Goodman
I wouldn't sell you your gym back for all of King Midas silver.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.