DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story (2004) - Quotes

Globo Gym Purple Cobras' Confidence and Determination

White Goodman: We are the Globo Gym Purple Cobras, and we will, we will, rock you!

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Mutual Awareness and Understanding

White Goodman: I know you, you know you, and I know you know that I know you.

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Desire for Intensity and Challenge

White Goodman: Turn it up high Reggie, I wanna burn.

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The Illusion of Wealth in Reality

White Goodman: [opens briefcase revealing single stack of bills] I don't know if you've ever seen a hundred thousand dollars before, except perhaps in the movies. But I can assure you, something gets lost in the translation.

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Transforming Self-Image Through Cosmetic Surgery

White Goodman: Of course you'll still be yourself in a legal sense, but think of it as a thinner, more attractive you than you could ever become without us. And with our competitively priced on-site cosmetic surgery, we can turn that Frankenstein you see in the mirror every morning, into a Franken Fine!

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Convenience and Timing in Competition

White Goodman: Well, isn't that convenient for you... and the clock!

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Critique of a Gym's Reputation

White Goodman: Your "gym" is a skid-mark on the underpants of society.

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Refusal to Sell the Gym

White Goodman: I wouldn't sell you your gym back for all of King Midas silver.

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Globo Gym's Confidence in Superiority

White Goodman: Here at Globo Gym, we're better than you. And we know it.

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The Truth Behind White Goodman's Confidence

White Goodman: I earned this body, and I built this temple with nothing more than some elbow grease and a little can-do attitude... and yes, a large inheritance from my father, Earl Goodman.

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Confrontation with Humor and Sarcasm

White Goodman: Go on and make your jokes Mr Jokey... Joke-maker!

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Gym Ownership and Amenities Comparison

White Goodman: My gym has shareholders, yours haven't even got... cupholders!

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Defiance in the Face of Injury

White Goodman: Nobody makes me bleed my own blood! Nobody!

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The Irony of Freedom of Information

White Goodman: [When asked how he knew where Kate lived] It's called the Freedom of Information Act for a reason. The hippies finally got something right. Just kidding. But not really.

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Breaking Free from Work Relationships

White Goodman: Let's not find ourselves shackled by the bonds of employer-employee relations. Unless of course you're into that sort of thing, in which case I got some shackles in the back. Just kidding. But seriously, I've got em.

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Taking Charge: A Metaphor for Leadership

White Goodman: Yeah, that's me taking the bull by the horns, it's how I like to run my business. It's a metaphor. But that actually happened though.

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A Playful Admission of Mischief

White Goodman: I can be naughty too. Really freaky naughty... you a naughty freak?

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A Confident Challenge in Las Vegas

White Goodman: Good luck losing with these losers in Las Vegas, La Fleur!

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Genetic Disorders and Personal Responsibility

White Goodman: Here at Globo Gym we understand that ugliness and fatness are genetic disorders, like baldness or necrophilia, and it's your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it.

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Reflecting on Past Transformation and Change

White Goodman: That's me, six years and six-hundred pounds ago.

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Challenge Accepted: Prepare for Humiliation

White Goodman: Cram it up your cram hole, LaFleur! Prepare to be humiliated on cable television.

Mocking Intellectualism in Sports Commentary

White Goodman: Oh, now he's a philoso-phizer.

A Challenge to Compete in Dodgeball

White Goodman: Ball me, Blazer.

Promoting Health and Community at Average Joe's Gym

Peter La Fleur: [in a commercial for Average Joe's, now newly renovated and successful] Hi, I'm Peter LaFleur, owner and operator of Average Joe's Gym. And I'm here to tell you, you're perfect just the way you are. But if you feel like losing a few pounds, getting healthier and making some great friends in the process, then Joe's is the place for you. Don't forget, youth dodgeball classes are forming right now. So come on down and learn a great game the way it's supposed to be played. Right, kids?

Gratitude Toward a Martial Arts Icon

Peter La Fleur: Thank you, Chuck Norris.

Confronting Shame in Competitive Sports

Peter La Fleur: Lance Armstong: So what are you dying from that's keeping you from the finals? Peter LaFleur: Right now it feels a little bit like... shame.

Witty Remark on Timing and Activities

Peter La Fleur: Hey, White. I didn't think Nazi camp got out until eight. Did you decide to skip arts and crafts?

Irony in Unexpected Situations

Peter La Fleur: I'd love to, but I don't think they make a "sorry your dodgeball coach just got crushed by two tons of irony" Hallmark card.

The Importance of Having Goals

Peter La Fleur: I found that if you have a goal, you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I've gotta tell you, it feels phenomenal.