3 quotes
Mistaken Controls Lead to Humorous Blunder
Duck Dodgers
Oops! Had the silly thing in reverse!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Route to Planet X Explained
Duck Dodgers
And now then, eager young space cadet, here is the course we shall pursue to find Planet X. Starting from where we are, we go 33,600 turbo miles due up. Then west in an Astro-arc deviation to here, then following the great circle seven radio lubes south by DownEast. By astrolatries to here, here, and here, then by space Navigo-compass to here, here, and then to here and here. By thirteen-point strata-cumulus bearing four million light-years, and thus to our destination. Now do you know how to reach Planet X?
Porky Pig
Y-y-ye... Oh sure.
Duck Dodgers
Well, I wish you'd explain it to me some time, buster!
[Staring stunned at the cadet, then at the chart's ridiculously complex path]
Porky Pig
Why, it's very simple, sir. If we follow those planets, we can't very well miss Planet X.
[Points to progression of lettered planets]
Duck Dodgers
Oh, that's ridiculous! Of all the stupid suggestions! Ha! Hey, wait a minute. I think I've got it. I'll just bet that if we follow those planets, we'll find Planet X. Gad! How do I do it?
[laughing]
Porky Pig
I d-d-don't know.
Duck Dodgers
I claim this planet in the name of the Earth!
[plants his flag]
Marvin the Martian
I claim this planet in the name of Mars! Isn't that lovely?
Duck Dodgers
Look, bud, I've got news for you. I have already claimed this bit of dirt for the Earth, and there just isn't room enough on this planet for the two of us.
Marvin the Martian
I do believe you are right.
[pulls his disintegrating pistol]
Duck Dodgers
Heh! Little does he realize that I have on my disintegration-proof vest. You may fire when ready, Gridley.
Duck Dodgers
What-where-who-how- Oh, you, huh? Just when I had him going, you had to butt in! Well, get back in that spaceship!
Porky Pig
Eh, y-y-yes, sir, Your Hero ship, sir.
[heads back to the ship.]
Duck Dodgers
Ha-ha, got the drop on you with MY disintegrating pistol! And, brother, when it disintegrates, it disintegrates!
[runs back to Marvin with his own disintegrating pistol; pulls the trigger, whereupon the pistol itself disintegrates.]
Duck Dodgers
Heh, well, what do you know? It disintegrated.
[Marvin fires, but Dodgers gets out of the way in time and runs into the ship. Porky opens the door and gives Marvin a lit stick of dynamite]
Porky Pig
Happy b-b-birthday you think from another world you.
[Porky closes the door]
Marvin the Martian
Oh, thank you.
[the dynamite explodes, leaving only Marvin's helmet. Looking angry, he glares at the closed door, and still in his helmet, goes back to the Martian Maggot]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Duck Dodgers Prepares an Ultimatum
Duck Dodgers
Well, I guess he's had enough. I'll send him an ultimatum.
[He produces a pistol marked "Acme Ultimatum Dispatcher", which fires a bullet into Marvin's Maggot-class spacecraft. The bullet screeches to a halt in front of Marvin, then opens up and rolls out a sign which reads "Surrender or be blown into 17,670,002 micro-cells". Marvin produces a pistol marked "A-1 Ultimatum Answerer", which fires a bullet into Dodgers' spacecraft. This bullet, upon screeching to a halt in front of Dodgers, opens up and catches our hero in the face with a shotgun-blast. Dodgers then fires another ultimatum-bullet into Marvin's Maggot; this one opens up and rolls out a sign which reads "OUCH!"]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.