Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) - Quotes

Simon: Szass Tam won't be happy about this.

Edgin: Well, if he comes back, we'll be ready.

Doric: We"?

Edgin: Oh, that's right. You don't like humans, do you?

Doric: Some are okay. What about you? Going back to the Harpers? Be with your people?

Edgin: I'm with my people.

Simon: [chuckles] So, uh, I know my last attempt to court you was quite bad. But I wonder if you'd consider having another go at it.

Doric: [pause] Yeah, alright.

Simon: [excited] Yeah?

Doric: Calm down.

Simon: [sighs] Right.

Sofina: For too long, I've endured the arrogance of Forge Fitzwilliam, the false charm, the quips. And just as I begin to purge this place of its living filth, you dare interpose. Now, as you die, rest assured it will not be the end, for you will forever suffer.

Edgin: Ugh! I'm sorry, your breath just smells like...old clothes. It's bad.

Sofina: What is this?

Simon: I countered your Time Stop. I got better.

Edgin: [Doric turns into an owlbear and attacks Sofina; Sofina wakes up; Doric pins her again and throws her into a wall] We had to distract you so Kira could slap on that cuff and so Doric could do this. I think you got her.

Kira: A-a trip?

Forge: Yes. Something urgent has come up, but if we leave now, we'll be safe.

Kira: Safe from what?

Forge: [looks at unconscious guards] What is this?

Edgin: This is an ambush. On the boat you were gonna use to escape from Neverwinter.

Kira: Dad...?

Edgin: [holds the Tablet of Reawakening] Hi, honey. Hey, Forge, why don't you tell her what this is?

Forge: [shrugs] I don't know.

Edgin: It's the Tablet of Reawakening, Kira. It's the reason why I left you.

Holga: Your dad's been telling you the truth, bug. It's Uncle Forge who's been feeding you lies.

Forge: [laughs nervously] It's rubbish. It's just rubbish.

Edgin: Come with me, Kira. We'll go home, bring back Mom. We can be a family again.

Forge: [pulls out a knife and points at Kira] You're not taking my money. Put down the tablet and get off my ship. All of you. Now!

Edgin: Okay, okay, okay.

Kira: [panicked] What are you doing?!

Forge: It's alright. Shush, my darling, be quiet.

Edgin: [puts the tablet down] It's going down. Just don't hurt her.

Forge: [referring to Edgin; Holga spots a potato] See that, Kira? Your father knows me. He knows I'm prepared to do terrible things to get what I want, even to those I care about most. In the end, that's all that separates the beggar...

Holga: Nobody hurts my bug.

Forge: [laughing as he walks into the room to find Edgin wrapped in tentacles by Sofina; sits down; as he's about to leave, Edgin tries to something from behind a tentacle; uses a handkerchief to remove a tentacle from Edgin's mouth] You'd think you'd be able to distinguish between your own daughter and a 300-year old wizard. Don't worry, Kira's safe. Unlike me, she had no idea you were coming. I don't think she knows how tenacious you've become, huh? Look, Ed, uh... I'm really sorry for the way things turned out. But I think if you were truly honest, you'd have to admit I can give Kira a better life. I hope you can take comfort in knowing that she's with the father she deserves. Now I'm in a pickle because...I don't wanna see you die. Which is why I'm gonna leave the room. What?

Edgin: [gasps for a breath] If you're gonna kill us, at least let us die with dignity.

Forge: How do you mean?

Edgin: Put us in the High Sun Games. Give us a fighting chance.

Forge: [Sofina glares at him] That's not a chance. It's not a chance at all. I mean, even if you were to somehow survive the tournament, Sofina's gonna... Uh... I-it would be much, much better for you to die here than go to the Games.

Sofina: No. They defeated your men and mine. Let them fight in the arena. They deserve that much.

Edgin: [hears the horn that signals the High Sun Games] The Games have started. We're going to Plan C.

Simon: Oh, buttocks. What's Plan C?

Edgin: [turns and points to Simon] Plan C is we go back to Plan A. We're gonna attune to the helmet.

Holga: Why don't you just call it Plan A?

Edgin: Plan A has a stink on it.

Simon: [losing his temper] You know darn well I can't attune to the thing.

Edgin: [[gravity] That's not true! You couldn't attune to it. Look at me. Look at me! Huh? Do you remember that job in Loudwater? You couldn't spider-climb until Jolym sicked his dog on you. And when we robbed the spear of Aoth Fezim, your Stone Skin spell failed until the arrows were inches away. Even in Triboar, you flipped the ] of the whole theater!

Doric: [amazed] You did?

Simon: [embarrassed] By accident. It was wild magic and that only happened because they were gonna kill me.

Edgin: [pats Simon on the cheek] Exactly! Look, you are at your strongest when you think you're at your weakest. But you deliver. You're gonna get into that vault, okay? Not because you can, but because you must.

Doric: I'm gonna keep chipping away. If I can get a quarter inch, I'll be able to squeeze through as a worm.

Edgin: As a worm! A-as a worm! Perfect! Do you see this? Now we have a Plan D if Plan C fails.

Holga: Isn't Plan D just Plan B again?

Edgin: Plan B has a stink too.

Simon: It all stinks.

Holga: How bout this: we use the Hither-Thither staff to get into the vault.

Simon: No, I've explained this. You can't Hither-Thither into a room you can't see.

Holga: I'm not saying that. I'm saying we put the portal on something and then sneak that thing into the vault.

Edgin: [[treasure] Mm, the only thing going in that vault is ].

Holga: So we put the portal on some treasure.

Edgin: Forge did say the richest men in Baldur's Gate and Waterdeep are bringing loot to the city. They'll be traveling the High Road. We could catch one of their convoys.

Doric: There'll be dozens of guards.

Edgin:: Yeah, but the guards will guarding against people taking things out of their wagon, not putting them in! Holga, I could kiss you!

Holga: Try it.

Elminster Aumar: There he is, the great Simon Aumar, sorcerer descended from wizarding blood.

Simon Aumar: Who are you?

Elminster: Don't you know me? My name is Aumar too.

Simon: You're my great-great-grandfather.

Elminster: [chuckles] That's quite the helm. What makes you think you're worthy of it?

Simon: I believe in myself?

Elminster: You're asking me?

Simon: No, I'm-I'm sure. I'm a great sorcerer.

Elminster: Are you now? Funny thing about magic: it chooses who may wield it and it does not suffer fools.

Simon: Why are you telling this?

Elminster: [taps the helm off Simon] Oh, I think you know, Simon.

Edgin: [referring to Xenk] Keep your guard up. I don't trust this guy.

Holga: Even though he's helping us?

Edgin: Ah, he's got something up his sleeve.

Xenk: The only thing up my sleeve is my arm.

Edgin: [whispering] How could he hear that?

Xenk: I hear that as well.

Edgin: [Xenk smirks] I hate you.

Edgin: [they can ask a revived corpse five questions before it dies again] Were you killed in the Battle of the Evermoors?

Revived corpse: Yes.

Edgin: [to Simon] Great! I mean, not for you. Sorry for your loss. Four more questions, right?

Revived corpse: Yes.

Edgin: [to Simon] No, no, no, that wasn't for you. Did that count as a question?

Revived corpse: Yes.

Edgin: Dammit! Only answer when I talk to you, okay?

Revived corpse: Yes.

Simon: Why did you say "okay?" at the end of that?

Revived corpse: [lies back in its coffin, dead] I didn't.

Edgin: Fantastic. Where's the shovel?

Holga: So she did become a deer.

Edgin: [to Doric] Only at the very end. Are you absolutely sure about Sofina?

Doric: I saw her markings.

Simon: No wonder I couldn't counter her Time Stop.

Edgin: Forge knew all along he's got my daughter in there with a Red Wizard.

Doric: The vault is protected by something called "Morty Caiman's Arcane Seal".

Simon: Mordenkainen?

Doric: Yeah, that's it.

Simon: [disbelief] Oh, pity!

Edgin: What?

Simon: If the vault has Mordenkainen's Seal, we're not getting in. It's impenetrable.

Holga: [[magic] Can't you just open it with ]?

Simon: Okay, here we go. I hate how everyone thinks that you can solve any problem with magic. There are limits. This isn't some bedtime story. This is the real world.

Doric: So there's no way to open it?

Simon: Well, I mean, if I was one of the world's most powerful sorcerers, so no. Or if we had the Helm of Disjunction.

Edgin: [gets the idea] The what?

Simon: [gets up] It's a helmet that disables all nearby enchantments. But it doesn't matter. That thing went missing ages ago. We're done.

Edgin: [follows Simon] Huh? C'mon! What's the problem? We can find the helmet.

Simon: Even if we could, I couldn't use it without attuning to it, which I'm terrible at.

Edgin: Oh, you can do it. I know you can.

Simon: You saying that doesn't make it so.

Edgin: Yeah, but you saying it does.

Simon: But I can't.

Edgin: Yes you can.

Simon: But I won't.

Edgin: Just say it.

Simon: No!

Edgin: [walks to sit back down] Ugh, fine. Can we just keep this between us? I don't wanna hurt the group's morale.

Simon: [sits back down as well] What morale?

Doric: Holga knows where the helmet is.

Edgin: [looks at Holga] You do?

Holga: [[Dragon] My tribe fought the Cult of the ] over it at the Evermoors. We can just ask them where it went.

Simon: [[battle] That ] was a century ago. They're all dead.

Holga: So ask them with magic.

Doric: He just made a whole speech how he can't fix everything with magic.

Simon: [he admits it; Holga chuckles in approval, as if to say "I told you so."] Actually, that is something I can do.

Doric: [shocked] You can bring back the dead?

Simon: I can't, uh, bring them back, but I have this token that lets me ask corpses some questions and then they go back to being dead.

Doric: Yuck.

Simon: Yeah, it's fairly horrible.

Edgin: [he and Holga get up] It's fairly wonderful. We're off to the Evermoors. Thank you, Simon, for the drinks.

Simon: Oh, what? No...

Holga: Just pay it with magic.

Szass Tam: [speaks Thayan] I sense your impatience.

Sofina: Szass Tam...?

Szass Tam: [speaks English] But you have always been the disciple I rely on most. Doff your cowl. You needn't hide your sigils from me.

Sofina: [takes her hood off as her cloak turns red] I'd rather be flensed and flayed than spend another hour with Forge Fitzwilliam.

Szass Tam: The man is insufferable. But we never would've come this far without his "charm". The living have befouled this world long enough. Take solace in knowing that your work here is nearly complete.

Forge: [sees Sofina; chuckles; as Sofina stands up, the chair scrapes loudly on the ground; Doric disguised as a fly flies by him, he unknowingly shoos her away] There you are. With your hood off, I notice. Probably best to keep that on. You know, you Red Wizards of Thay are not as popular as you should be outside of Thay. And of course, you're about to be considerably less popular. B-but far, far be it from me ever to tell you what to do. Uh, Caldwell and Piradost have just arrived. I was gonna give them... Awful, isn't it? I really have to do something about these chairs. They're, uh...

Doric: What is it, exactly, that you bring to this?

Edgin: Me? I'm a planner. You know, I make plans.

Doric: You've already made the plan, so what value do you have now?

Edgin: If the plan fails, the existing plan, I make a new plan.

Doric: So you make plans that fail.

Edgin: No.

Holga: He also plays the lute.

Edgin: Holga, not relevant.

Forge: [sits next to Kira] Knock-knock! I wanted to make sure you were alright.

Kira: I knew I'd see him again one day. I just hoped it would be different.

Forge: Well, you have to understand when he lost your mother, he sorta lost himself.

Kira: Why would he lie about the tablet?

Forge: Maybe he was ashamed to admit how much he'd given up for so little.

Kira: [Forge gives a look] I should probably go speak to him. What?

Forge: Well, he's gone, my dear. He's gone. I gave him the Tablet of Riches and...he left.

Kira: [looks sad] Holga too?

Forge: I'm sorry. And I want you to know that even he isn't there for you, I always will be.

Kira: [smiles] I know.

Forge: The fact that you see good in me makes me believe that there might just be some on there.

Edgin: [turns around to see Holga frozen in time] She's caught in a Time Stop! Counter it, Simon!

Simon: [he runs off] I can't! Sofina's too powerful!

Edgin: [he tries to run away but slips on a golden chalice, turns to Forge; throws the Tablet of Reawakening to Forge] Take the tablet. Keep Kira safe.

Forge: [catches the Tablet of Reawakening; runs off] You have my word.

Kira: Why can't I come?

Edgin: Sorry, Kira, this one's too dangerous.

Kira: Then--Then you shouldn't go. We have everything that we need.

Edgin: [hugs Kira and walks off] Not yet. But this is the last one. Trust me.

Holga: [walks off] Chin up, bug. We'll be right back.

Simon Aumar: I'd sit too, but there's not enough room on the rock.

Doric: I'm not doing this for the money. I'm doing this for people who took me in when no one else would.

Xenk Yendar: Many lives were lost in defense of that helm. To speak of it would be to diminish their sacrifice.

Kira Davis: [about Forge] I'm sorry I believed him.

Sofina: You know not the scope of my power!

Forge Fitzwilliam: [flashback; interrupted by Chancellor Anderton, ending the flashback] One could argue that my actions, reprehensible though they were, led to a virtual renaissance for the city. And while I've only served the 1st year of my sentence, I have to say it has been...eye-opening. I have taken a look inside, and I've asked myself: "What's going on in there?". And, you know, I realized...a lot of it goes back to my mum. She was a stern woman prone to fits and--

Forge Fitzwilliam: [crowd cheers; crowd cheers again, he looks down] What a profound joy it is to welcome you, the good people of Neverwinter, to the resumption of the High Sun Games! I guarantee that you are in for the most riveting spectacle on all the Sword Coast. The rules are very simple: 5 harrowing challenges, 5 teams of champions. Whoever survives to reach the Cage of Sanctuary moves on to the next stage. One thing: I do urge you, please do not leave the arena till the close of the Games, as there will be a wonderful gift for each and every one of you! Alright, take me down. This is absurdly high. It's not what we discussed.

Forge Fitzwilliam: Now I'm in a pickle, because...I don't want to see you die. Which is why...I'm gonna leave the room.

Forge Fitzwilliam: [about Kira as she leaves the room] Give her time. She's had years to resent you for your absence.

Holga Kilgore: [after being revived] Don't tell me you've wasted it on me. Why would you do that?

Holga Kilgore: [about Xenk] I'm glad he's on our side.

Holga Kilgore: So many of my kin gave their lives in battle here. I'd always imagined I'd be buried in sacred ground like this.

Edgin Darvis: The truth is even if this council was to sentence me to another 2 years, or 20 for that matter, it wouldn't be punishment enough for the worst crime I ever committed: robbing my daughter of her father. But know that if you do choose to free me, I'll spend the rest of my days tryna right that wrong.

Edgin Darvis: [eats a chicken leg] Oh, I've got a good feeling about Plan C.

Edgin Darvis: We must never stop failing, because the minute we do, we've failed.

Edgin Darvis: When you're a Harper, you're bound to make enemies. Sometimes those enemies come looking for revenge.

Edgin Darvis: Yes, we were thieves. But I tried to hold us to a certain standard. We never harmed anyone and we only robbed from those who would feel it the least.