Accidental Damage with No Injuries Reported
Mr. Tipton:
What happened?
Chief St. Cloud:
Ernest broke the sign.
Mr. Tipton:
Well. At least no one was hurt.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cultural Comparisons in Ceremony and Games
Nurse St. Cloud:
And that was the ceremony of the Blade, the Stone and the Arrow.
Ernest:
Like in our culture: Paper, Rock, Scissors.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Leadership Experience
Mr. Tipton:
Ernest, Have you had any leadership experience?
Ernest:
I had an antfarm once.
Mr. Tipton:
Close enough.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Swimming Lessons at Camp
Counselor Stennis:
Okay. Everybody to the line. All right, everybody in the water.
Some boys:
Hey! C'mon, Moose!
Counselor Stennis:
Moustafa, Moose, whatever they call you. NOW! So you're the only one who can't swim? Well, you're gonna learn the Stennis way.
Moustafa:
No! NO! I can't swim!
Moustafa: [sinking fast]
Help! Somebody help!
Moustafa:
Thanks, Ernest. I could've made it.
Ernest:
Glad to help out.
Counselor Stennis:
Well, meatheads, we're gonna try this again. This time it's to the end of the lake and back. Everybody in the water.
Counselor Stennis: [in severe agony]
My leg! My leg!
Danny:
He’s learning to swim the Stennis way!
Counselor Stennis:
My leg! Aah!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Truth About Hunger and Cooking
Jake:
Now Ernest, would someone dressed up like this lie to you about food?
Ernest:
Fond as I am in Tibetian cooking, a hungry lion always hunts best. KnowhatImean?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Ernest Celebrates His Achievement with Pain
Ernest: [[w:Lindbergh kidnapping|Lindbergh baby; [w:Josef Mengele|Josef Mengele]
I did it! I took the ]! I am ]! Owwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
