14 quotes
Ernest's Love for Christmas
Ernest
You know. I don't tell many people this, but Christmas is just about my favorite time. Ever since I was a little kid, I always felt like it was my own personal holiday.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unique Holiday Comedy Experience
Taglines
A holiday comedy unlike any other!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Ernest Returns with New Adventures Ahead
Taglines
He's back! And this time...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Scent of Christmas Trees
Ernest
Ahh, smell those Christmas trees. You can keep your "Channel" Number 5, just give me a whiff of the old lonesome pine. That symbol of brotherly love, that centerpiece that all mankind gathers around to share the cranberry sauce shaped like a can.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Feeling Deep Down Inside
Ernest
You better check it out.
[''gesturing to Santa's sack'']
Santa Claus
Why?
Ernest
Call it... Uh, a fifth sense. Call it a flash of intermission, but I just got this feeling deep down in the heart of my bottom.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Ernest on Santa's Exclusive Authority
Ernest
No, there's only one person authorized to operate this sack. His big, red, oneness: The Claus.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Planning for the Next Step
Harmony
Hey, Ernest. How did it go?
Ernest
It worked great. Victory is at hand. Now we have to move onto what I like to call "Plan B.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Ernest Defends His Claim About Santa Claus
Ernest
Santa Claus.
[''quietly'']
Mary
What did you say?
Ernest
His name is Santa Claus!
Ernest
That's it. Yuck it up. He happens to be a close, personal friend of mine. Nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah. Fifth graders think they know everything.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing the Spirit of Christmas
Ernest
I am the one with the Yuletide, know what I mean?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Failure to Accumulate
Ernest
What we have here is a failure to accumulate.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debating the Possibility of Christmas Travel
Harmony
There's no such thing! Think about it: a guy who flies around the whole world in one night. It just doesn't quite correspond to the laws of time and travel.
Ernest
Now, now, now, now, now, it's possible. You take the International Date Line, multiply it by the Time Zones, divided by the accelerated rotation of the earth... uh, carry the 1, and, uh, allowing for the Vernal Equinox on the Tropic of Cancer, he might just pull it off.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Introductions in Holiday Encounters
Santa Claus
This is Ernest. I'm Santa Claus.
Ernest
Surprised?
Harmony
Uh, no. No, not - not really.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Morning Preferences and Volume Requests
Harmony
Ernest, I'm not much of a morning person. Do you think we could just keep it down to a dull roar?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cautionary Encounter with Pisin Snakes
Film Studio Gate Guard
I'd better have a look.
[''advances towards Ernest's truck to see what is under the tarp in back'']
Ernest
Careful, now... them be "pisin"!
[''disguised as a snake rancher, reffering to the venomous "snakes" under the tarp'']
Ernest
Pisin" snakes! One minute, you be a strappin young man like yerself, an the next...
Ernest
SNAP!
Ernest
Yer dead meat!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.