Brussel Sprouts Turn the Tables on Kids
Ernest:
Gosh, Rimshot! Pretty soon, the kids won't have to worry about eating their Brussel sprouts because the Brussel sprouts will be eating them!
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The Importance of Trusting Your Judgment
Old Lady Hackmore: [''to Kenny'']
Sometimes, you've got to do what YOU know is right, no matter what anybody tells you.
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Ernest's Call for Help and Confusion
Ernest: [''being attacked by the troll'']
Help, help! May day! May day! Christmas Day! Colombus Day!
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The Importance of Nasal Hygiene
Ernest: [''as the old lady''; ''dumps milk on a troll'']
A little nasal hygiene will go a long way young man. Here you go! I hope you're grateful. Little trolls in China don't even get milk.
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Ernest's Unusual Job Claim as a Lumberjack
Ernest as a lumberjack:
There ain't no trees in Botswana. Nuh uh, I know. I AM a Botswanian lumberjack, and I ain't never had a job...
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Description of a humorous character comparison
Ernest: [''about the troll'']
He looked like a big giant Mr. Potato Head. Except he was shaped more like a watermelon.
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The Seriousness of Playing Charades
Ernest:
Boy, Jimmy. When you play charades, you play for keeps. You know what I mean?
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The Limitations of a Wooden Dog
Ernest:
What good is a wooden dog? Oh, sure they swim better, but what am I going to call him? Splinter?
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Perseverance in the Face of Adversity
Ernest's fourth grade Teacher:
He never knew when to quit.
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Perseverance Despite Past Challenges
Ernest:
I never knew when to quit. Just ask my fourth grade teacher.
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Ernest's Overconfidence in Confrontation
Ernest:
Ahhhhh! Boy, I sure hope you're from Keebler! You better back off. You don't wanna fight me, I know tai chi, kung fu, chow mein, and I saw Hulkamania three times once in slow mo.
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Bumper Sandwich Humor in Ernest Scared Stupid
Ernest:
How bout a bumper sandwich, Boogerlips? Eh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh
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Fatherhood and Accountability in Humor
Trantor:
You’re gonna pay for the sins of your forefathers!
Ernest:
I didn't have four fathers! I just had one father and I didn't know him that well!
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Trantor Demands Ernest's Head
Trantor:
Bring me the head of Ernest P. Worrell!
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Tree House or Dress Shields?
Kenny:
Ernest, I know. What we need is...a tree house!
Ernest:
I thought we needed dress shields.
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The Curse of Phineas' Descendants
Teacher:
So, uh, Elizabeth, what was the curse the troll put on Phineas?
Elizabeth:
Well, legend has it that from that moment on, Phineas descendants would get dumber and dumber... and dumber.
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Class Discussion on Elizabeth's Report
Elizabeth:
So in the hours just before midnight, the people of Briarville buried Trantor the Troll in the cold, damp ground. The end.
Teacher:
Thank you, Elizabeth. Class, what did you think of her report?
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