17 quotes
Ernest's Overconfidence in Confrontation
Ernest
Ahhhhh! Boy, I sure hope you're from Keebler! You better back off. You don't wanna fight me, I know tai chi, kung fu, chow mein, and I saw Hulkamania three times once in slow mo.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Class Discussion on Elizabeth's Report
Elizabeth
So in the hours just before midnight, the people of Briarville buried Trantor the Troll in the cold, damp ground. The end.
Teacher
Thank you, Elizabeth. Class, what did you think of her report?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Trantor Demands Ernest's Head
Trantor
Bring me the head of Ernest P. Worrell!
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Fatherhood and Accountability in Humor
Trantor
You’re gonna pay for the sins of your forefathers!
Ernest
I didn't have four fathers! I just had one father and I didn't know him that well!
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Ernest's Call for Help and Confusion
Ernest
Help, help! May day! May day! Christmas Day! Colombus Day!
[''being attacked by the troll'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Nasal Hygiene
Ernest
A little nasal hygiene will go a long way young man. Here you go! I hope you're grateful. Little trolls in China don't even get milk.
[''as the old lady''; ''dumps milk on a troll'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Bumper Sandwich Humor in Ernest Scared Stupid
Ernest
How bout a bumper sandwich, Boogerlips? Eh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh
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The Limitations of a Wooden Dog
Ernest
What good is a wooden dog? Oh, sure they swim better, but what am I going to call him? Splinter?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Brussel Sprouts Turn the Tables on Kids
Ernest
Gosh, Rimshot! Pretty soon, the kids won't have to worry about eating their Brussel sprouts because the Brussel sprouts will be eating them!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Ernest's Unusual Job Claim as a Lumberjack
Ernest as a lumberjack
There ain't no trees in Botswana. Nuh uh, I know. I AM a Botswanian lumberjack, and I ain't never had a job...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Trusting Your Judgment
Old Lady Hackmore
Sometimes, you've got to do what YOU know is right, no matter what anybody tells you.
[''to Kenny'']
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Tree House or Dress Shields?
Kenny
Ernest, I know. What we need is...a tree house!
Ernest
I thought we needed dress shields.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Description of a humorous character comparison
Ernest
He looked like a big giant Mr. Potato Head. Except he was shaped more like a watermelon.
[''about the troll'']
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The Seriousness of Playing Charades
Ernest
Boy, Jimmy. When you play charades, you play for keeps. You know what I mean?
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The Curse of Phineas' Descendants
Teacher
So, uh, Elizabeth, what was the curse the troll put on Phineas?
Elizabeth
Well, legend has it that from that moment on, Phineas descendants would get dumber and dumber... and dumber.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perseverance Despite Past Challenges
Ernest
I never knew when to quit. Just ask my fourth grade teacher.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perseverance in the Face of Adversity
Ernest's fourth grade Teacher
He never knew when to quit.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.