Exam Quotes

Invigilator I am the Invigilator. Listen carefully to every word I say. There will be no repetition. I won't apologize for the hardships you've endured reaching this room. The pressures and the pains were necessary. Resilience is a key attribute in these dark times, and if you can't survive our selection process, you won't survive in the job. Many highly qualified candidates have tried to reach this point and failed. You have succeeded, and now the final stage lies before you. One last hurdle separates you from your goal, which is to join our esteemed ranks. The test is simple in comparison, yet it will determine who leaves this room with a contract of employment and who leaves with a bus fare home. Through these trials you've gained some idea of the power of this organization, so believe me when I tell you that there is no law in this room but our law and the only rules in here are our rules. There is one question before you, and one answer is required. If you try to communicate with myself or the guard, you will be disqualified. If you spoil your paper, intentionally or accidentally, you will be disqualified. If you choose to leave this room for any reason, you will be disqualified. Any questions? Best of luck ladies and gentlemen. We're giving the eight of you 80 minutes. 80 minutes for you to convince us you have what it takes to join us. 80 minutes to determine the next 80 years of your lives. Begin.

White Let's go, Gandhi.

Brown My name's not Gandhi, friend. It's—

White Nuh-uh, no names in here. Well, not real ones, anyway. I mean, it's not written on this so there's gotta be a reason for that, hasn't there?

Black We'll use nicknames, then.

White Yeah, all right, let's make this easy.

Brown We already have numbers.

White Yeah, and visual. You're Black. I'm White. You're Brown. We've got Blonde here, Brunette there... Dark, I suppose. And then last as well as least we've got Deaf.

Black Tough last round.

White Yeah, whatever. Any objections?

Dark Apart from your grossly insensitive sexual and racial stereotyping?

White Well, if you're the sensitive type, you shouldn't be here, love.

Brown I'll take Brown over Gandhi, if it gets us talking about something that matters.

Taglines 80 minutes — 8 candidates — 1 answer — no question.

Black All each of us can do today is lose what we've already won through selfishness, stupidity, and impatience!

Deaf Toujours y voir clairement est primordial.

White All right, that's enough out of you, Sartre! Fucking philosophers. Thank God this world belongs to the doers, not the thinkers.

Taglines How far would you go to win the ultimate job?