Father of the Bride Quotes

George Banks I used to think a wedding was a simple affair. A boy and girl meet, they fall in love, he buys a ring, she buys a dress, they say "I do." I was wrong. That's getting married. A wedding is an entirely different proposition. I know. I've just been through one. Not my own. My daughter's. Annie Banks-MacKenzie. That's her married name. MacKenzie. I'll be honest with you. When I bought this house seventeen years ago, it cost me less than this blessed event in which Annie Banks became Annie Banks-MacKenzie. I'm told that one day I'll look back on all this with great affection and nostalgia. I hope so. You fathers will understand. You have a little girl. An adorable little girl who looks up to you and adores you in a way you could never imagine. I remember how her little hand used to fit inside mine. How she used to sit in my lap and lean her head against my chest. She said that I was her hero. Then the day comes when she wants to get her ears pierced and she wants you to drop her off a block before the movie theater. Next thing you know she's wearing eye shadow and high heels. From that moment on, you're in a constant state of panic. You worry about her going out with the wrong kind of guys, the kind of guys who only want one thing—and you know exactly what that one thing is because it's the same thing you wanted when you were their age. Then she gets a little older and you quit worrying about her meeting the wrong guy and you worry about her meeting the right guy. And that's the biggest fear of all because then you lose her. And before you know it, you're sitting all alone in a big, empty house, wearing rice on your tux, wondering what happened to your life. It was just six months ago that it happened here. Just six months ago that the storm broke.

Nina Is something going on?

Annie Yes, it is, Mom...uh...God, this is a hard thing to tell parents...especially when you're my parents...Oh, God!

George Honey, just say it. What's the big deal?

Matt Yeah.

Annie Okay! I met somebody in Rome. Um, he's an American. Uh, he's from L.A., actually. And um, his name's Bryan MacKenzie. And he's this completely wonderful, wonderful, amazing man, and...well, we starting seeing each other, a lot...and, um...we fell in love. Ha! Ha! It actually happened! And, uh, we've decided to get married...which means that, I'm engaged! Ha! I'm engaged! I'm getting married! Ha!

Matt Congratulations!

Annie Thank you.

Nina Oh! My! My! Oh, so, oh my...and that's your engagement ring, huh?

Annie Bought it from said that it's at least a hundred years old...So, Dad. Stop it. Say something.

George I'm sorry. What did you say?

Young Annie Dad, I met a man in Rome. And he's wonderful and brilliant, and we're getting married.

Annie Mom, what's he doing?

Nina George? George? George? What is it?

George Well...this is...this is ridiculous! You're too young to get married!

Annie Too young? Dad, I'm twenty-two. If I'm not mistaken, that's a year older than Mom was when you guys got married.

George That is absolutely not true!

Nina Oh, no...you're absolutely wrong.

George You were this age when I married you?

Nina No. I was younger. I was this age when she was born.

George That...that doesn't matter. Times have changed. Your mother was mature...and twenty-two isn't what it used to be...Matt, would you turn on the air conditioner? It's hot in here. I thought...I thought you didn't believe in marriage. I thought it meant a woman lost her identity. I thought you wanted to get a job before you settled down so you could earn money and be your own person.

Annie All right, hold on. I didn't think I believed in marriage until I met Bryan. Bryan's not like any other guy I've ever known. I want to be married to him. And I'm not going to lose my identity with him because he's not some overpowering, macho guy. He's like you, Dad! Except he's brilliant. He happens to love that I'm going to be an architect. He wants me to design a house for us to live in. He said he'd move anywhere I got a job. Give me a little credit, George. I'm not going to marry some ape who wants me to wear go-go boots and an apron. I'm telling you, you'll love him. He's a genius. And sweet. And I love him more than anything in the world.

Nina What does Bryan do?

George Who's Bryan?

Nina Oh!

George I forgot his name!

Annie He's an independent communications consultant.

George Independent?

Annie Yes.

George That's code for unemployed! This is perfect! You meet an unemployed, amazingly brilliant non-ape that I'm going to have to support! I suppose I'm going to have to hire him and fire some hardworking guy with three kids because my son-in-law, the "independent communications consultant," can't get a job anywhere else! No wonder he'll move anywhere you get a job! You're not getting married and that's it and that's final! And I don't like you calling me George! I mean, when did this start?

Annie Daddy, what is wrong with you?

George What? Are you telling me you're happy about this?

Nina George, please. Would you stop acting like a lunatic father and go out and talk to her before she runs out that door, marries this kid and we never see her again?

George All right. Kid? How do you know he's a kid? He could be forty-five years old.

George All I could think of was the part I had to play. Then suddenly I went blank. I had one line and I couldn't remember it. When the Reverend said, "Who presents this woman?" was I supposed to say, "That's me" or was it "I do"? I couldn't think. I felt every eye in place boring into the back of my neck, waiting for me to screw up, when suddenly, it was upon me.

Reverend Who presents this woman in holy matrimony?

George I do. Who presents this woman? This "woman." But she's not a woman, she's just a kid. And she's leaving us...I realized at that moment that I was never going to come home again and see Annie at the top of the stairs. Never going to see her again at our breakfast table in her nightgown and socks. I suddenly realized what was happening. Annie was all grown up and leaving us, and something inside began to hurt.

George I'll tell you what I'm doing. I want to buy eight hot dogs and eight hot dog buns to go with them. But no one sells eight hot dog buns. They only sell twelve hot dog buns. So I end up paying for four buns I don't need. So I am removing the superfluous buns!

Clerk Sir, you'll still have to pay for all twelve buns, they're not marked individually.

George Yeah. And you want to know why? Because some big-shot over at the wiener company got together with some big-shot over at the bun company and decided to rip off the American public. Because they think the American public is a bunch of trusting nit-wits who will pay for everything they don't need rather than make a stink. Well they're not ripping of this nitwit anymore because I'm not paying for one more thing I don't need. George Banks is saying NO!

Clerk Who's George Banks?

George ME!

Nina Hello, George.

George Why do you look happy to see me in here, Nina?

Nina Happy? No, no, no. I'm not happy George. You think I was happy to tell everyone that I had to come down to the city jail and bail you out for stealing hot dog buns?

George I wasn't stealing...

Nina Ah!

George I was just...

Nina Banks Ah! I'm going to have to ask you not to talk, or I'll have to call Officer What's-his-name over there. You've been more than I can handle, George. Annie's wedding is not a conspiracy against you. It's just a wedding. People have them every day in every country in the world. I know it's going to be expensive, but we don't go to Europe. We don't own fancy cars. I don't own expensive jewelry, so we can afford to have a big wedding.

George Nina...

Nina I'll get you out of here on one condition, Banks: that you agree to the following. Now, repeat after me. "I, George Stanley Banks...

George I, George Stanley Banks...

Nina Promise to pull it together and act my age.

George Promise to pull it together and act my age.

Nina I will stop hyperventilating, rolling my eyes, unbuttoning my top collar button...

George I don't unbutton my top collar...

Nina Oh, no, you mean this bit here?

George I will stop hyperventilating, rolling my eyes, and unbuttoning my top collar button.

Nina I will stop making faces in general, and I will certainly stop telling everyone I meet how much this wedding is costing.

George I don't tell everyone how much it costs!

Nina He told you, right?

Officer $250 a head?

George Oh, well thanks.

Nina I will try to remember my daughter's feelings, and how, with every roll of my eyes, I am taking away a piece of her happiness.

George I love you, Nina.

Nina Just repeat the last bit.

George I will try to remember my daughter's feelings, and how, with every roll of my eyes, I am taking away a piece of her happiness.

Nina I love you too. Let's go home, okay?

George I thought maybe I should help smooth things over. So I took Bryan out for a drink. Thought we could have a talk, man-to-man. But as I sat there and listened to his side of the story... I realized this was a golden opportunity. If I ever wanted to get rid of Bryan MacKenzie, this was my chance.

Bryan You know those banana shakes she likes to make, right? Well, that's why I thought she'd like a blender. I guess I can see her point. I mean, a blender does suggest a certain... reference to sexual politics, but... I swear, it never entered my consciousness at the time.

George I believe you.

Bryan You do? Would you tell Annie that for me, Dad?

George This was where I was gonna lower the boom. But instead, I looked into his weepy eyes and found my self saying: Sure, I'll tell her.

Bryan Oh, good! Cause I know whatever you say she'll believe.

George Not only was I not getting rid of the kid... I now found myself talking him into staying. You know, Bryan, Annie's a very passionate person. And passionate people tend to overreact at time. Annie comes from a long line of major overreactors. Me. I can definitely lose it. My mother. A nut. My grandfather. Stories about him were legendary. The good news, however, is that this overreacting... tends to get proportionately less by generation. So, your kids could be normal. As if that wasn't enough, I went on. But on the upside, with this passion... comes great spirit and individuality... which is probably one of the reasons you love Annie.

Bryan That's what I love most about her.

George That's when it hit me like a Mack truck. Annie was just like me, and Bryan was just like Nina. They were a perfect match.

George Banks Well, that's the thing about life, is the surprises, the little things that sneak up on you and grab hold of you.

Annie Listen, I'm going to take Bryan for a drive and show him around.

Nina Okay, honey. Good.

George Annie, it's a little nippy out, you might want to put on a sweater.

Annie Dad, it's okay, I'm kinda warm.

George Still, there's a chill in the air and you've been on a plane.

Annie Dad, I'm fine.

Bryan Annie, it is kinda cold out.

Annie It is?

Bryan Yeah.

Annie All right, thanks, I'll get my jacket.

George Right then I realized, my day had passed. She'll always love me, of course, but not in the same way. I was no longer the man in my little girl's life. I was like an old shoe. The kind we manufacture and get all excited about, then after a few years discontinue. That was me now. Mr. Discontinued.

Bryan Good night. Good night, Mr. Banks.

Annie Oh, you can call him George. Or Dad!

George George will be fine.

Bryan Okay. I'll say it next time I see you.

George Drive carefully. And don't forget to fasten your condom.

Annie Dad!

George Seat belt! I meant...I meant seat belt.

Nina Honey, I'm putting your father to bed. This has been a very big night for him.

Taglines A comedy about letting go.

George Banks We live in a small town in Southern California called San Marino. I love this town, and not just because it's the kind of place where people still smile at each other but because it hasn't changed much in the past twenty-five years. And since I'm not a guy who's big on change, this town fits me like a glove. I got Annie's ten-speed all cleaned up and polished. New seat, new tires...I couldn't wait to show it to her. This is our house. 24 Maple Drive. Annie was just in grammar school when we bought it. A few years later, we got a surprise package: our son, Matt. I love this house. I love that I taught my kids to ride their bikes in the driveway. I love that I slept with them in tents in the backyard. I love that we carved our initials in the tree out front. This house is warm in the winter, cool in the summer, and looks spectacular with Christmas lights. It's a great house. I never want to move. But the thing I think I like best about this house are the voices I hear when I walk through the door.

Matty Right, together. Left, together. Right, together.

George Matty, you're up pretty late, aren't ya?

Matty Yeah, I know I'm just practicing. I wish I didn't have to walk Mom down the aisle.

George Don't worry, you'll be great.

Matty Is it right, together, left or left, together, right?

George Well, let's try it. Let's see, we go right together, left together. Good. Matty, I'm sorry if I've been preoccupied lately with this wedding.

Matty It's ok.

George Yeah, but I have, haven't I?

Matty It's all right. I understand.

George Yeah, but...

Matty Yeah, ya have. But I haven't felt ignored or anything. Don't worry Dad. No permanent damage done.

George Oh, well, good.

Taglines Love is wonderful. Until it happens to your only daughter.

Matty Can I put Cameron back on the list if he promises not to eat?

George You know, that's not a bad idea. Who else can we ask not to eat? My parents and your mother.

Annie Why don't we just charge people? That way we can make money on the wedding?

George I was kidding!

Annie Did I wake you?

George No, I was up. So what are you doing?

Annie I couldn't sleep. I just kept thinking about how this was my last night in my bed...in my house...kinda like my last night as a kid. I mean, I've lived here since I was five and I feel like I'm supposed to turn in my key tomorrow. It was so strange packing up my room. You know how you have always trained me never to throw anything away. So like I have all these ratty stuffed animals and yearbooks...my old retainer...all my old magic tricks. And I actually packed it all. I just didn't want to let it go. I mean, I know I can't stay, but it's like I don't want to leave.

George Well, that's the thing about life...is uh, the surprises. The little things that sneak up on you and grab hold of you. Still happens to me.

Annie Yikes. What is this?

George I don't believe it.

Annie Oh my God. Talk about surprises.

George It hasn't snowed in L.A. since I was nine.

Annie Mom's gonna die. What? What is that face?

George No. Nothing. I was just thinking.

Annie Oh, this is going to end up costing you more money.

George No. Now I know I'll remember this moment for the rest of my life.

George The reason I'm asking all these questions is I have a great idea where we can have this lovely, not small, but not too big wedding.

Nina You do? Where?

George At our favorite restaurant. The place we've been eating at for fifteen years. The best. The Steak Pit!

Annie Dad, get serious.

Matt I don't think you want the word "Pit" on a wedding invitation, George.

Annie Really, Dad. A rib joint with sawdust on the floor isn't exactly what I had in mind for my wedding. No offense.