32 quotes
Unexpected Family Dynamics in a Tense Conversation
Seth Gecko
So, what's the story with you two, you a couple of fags?
Jacob Fuller
He's my son.
Seth
How's that happen? You don't look Japanese.
Jacob
Neither does he. He looks Chinese.
Seth
Oh. Well, excuse me all to hell.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Impact of Tragedy on Life
Seth Gecko
Died right away?
[talking to Jacob about his wife's death in a car crash]
Jacob Fuller
Not quite. She was trapped in the wreck for about six hours before she passed on.
Seth
Yeah, those acts of God really stick it in and break it off, don't they?
Jacob
Yes, they do.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Lost Glasses and Frustration
Richie Gecko
Where are my glasses?
Seth Gecko
They broke when you fell.
Richie
Oh, fuck, Seth, these are like my only pair!
Seth
Don't worry about it.
Richie
What do you mean, don't worry about it? Of course I'm gonna worry about it. I can't fuckin see!
Seth
I'll take care of it when we get to El Rey.
Richie
Yeah, like some Mexican hole in the wall's gonna have my fuckin prescription.
Seth
It is not a big deal until you make it a big deal. Now I was in a very good mood, so stop bringing me down with this bullshit!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflections on Faith and Self-Doubt
Jacob Fuller
Every person who... chooses the service of God as his life's work has something in common. I don't care if you're a preacher, a priest, a nun, a rabbi or a Buddhist monk. Many, many times during your life you will look at your reflection in a mirror and ask yourself: am I a fool? I'm not going through a lapse; what I've experienced is closer to awakening.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Complex Morality of a Bastard
Seth Gecko
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fuckin bastard.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Threat of Violence and Control
Seth Gecko
Don't you ever try and fucking run on us, cause I've got six little friends and they can all run faster than you can.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Pussy Lovers Welcome to the Titty Twister
Chet Pussy
Alright, pussy, pussy, pussy! Come on in Pussy lovers! Here at the Titty Twister we’re slashing pussy in half! Give us an offer on our vast selection of pussy, this is a pussy blow out! Alright, we got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy. We got hot pussy, cold pussy. We got wet pussy. We got smelly pussy. We got hairy pussy, bloody pussy. We got snapping pussy. We got silk pussy, velvet pussy, naugahyde pussy. We even got horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy. C'mon, you want pussy, come on in Pussy Lovers! If we don't got it, you don't want it! Come on in Pussy lovers!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Tension in a High-Stakes Situation
Richie Gecko
The guy's back there taking a piss. Why don't I just go there, shoot him in the back of the head, and we'll get the hell outta here.
Pete Bottoms
Don't do that! Look, you asked me to act natural, and I'm acting as natural. In fact, under the circumstances, I think I ought get a fuckin Academy Award for how natural I'm acting.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Self-Deprecating Humor in Character Reflection
Chet Pussy
You know what they say about me? I suck!
[As a vampire]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Darkness and Servitude
Jacob Fuller
I'll be a lap dog of Satan.
[on his impending vampirization]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Request for Intimacy
Kate Fuller
Richie, would you do me a favor and eat my pussy for me... please?
Richie Gecko
Uhh... sure.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Promotional Sale Announcement for Adult Items
Chet Pussy
Attention pussy shoppers! Take advantage of our penny pussy sale! If you buy one piece of pussy at the regular price, you get another piece of pussy of equal or lesser value for only a penny! Try and beat pussy for a penny! If you can find cheaper pussy anywhere, fuck it!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Bars Compared to Disturbing Locations
Seth Gecko
Shit, I been to bars make this place look like a fuckin 4-H club.
Richie Gecko
I gotta say I'm with Jacob on this. I been to some fucked up places in my time, but that place is fucked up.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustrations of a Difficult Day
Pete Bottoms
Whatsamatter?
Earl McGraw
Ah, it's just been a shit-ass day, every inch of it hot and miserable. First off, Nadine at the Blue Chip got some sorta sick, so that mongoloid boy of hers was working the grill. That fucking idiot don't know rat shit from Rice Krispies. I ate breakfast at nine, was puking up pigs in a blanket like a sick dog by 10:30.
[''sighs'']
Pete
Isn't there a law or something against retards serving food to the public?
McGraw
Well, if there ain't there sure ought to be. Who knows what goes on inside mongoloid's mind?
Pete
You could sue the shit out of her, you know. That kid belongs under a circus tent, not flipping burgers. You could own that fucking place.
McGraw
What the hell would I do with that grease pit? Besides, Nadine's got enough of a cross to bear just taking care of that potato head.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Vampire Hunters Prepare for Battle
Seth Gecko
All right, vampire killers... let's kill some fucking vampires.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Tension Over a Customer's Presence
Pete Bottoms
Look, he comes in here everyday, and we bullshit. He's used my toilet a thousand times. If I said no, he'd know somethin was up.
[about McGraw]
Seth Gecko
I want him out of here, in his car, and down the road within the next five minutes, or you can change the name of this place to Benny's World of Blood.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Existence of Heaven Amidst Evil
Seth Gecko
And if there is a hell, and those sons of bitches are from it, then there has got to be a heaven, Jacob. There's got to be.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Faith and Identity in Crisis
Seth Gecko
So what are you, Jacob? A faithless preacher? Or a mean motherfuckin servant of God?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Vengeance Against the Godless Foes
Seth Gecko
I'm gonna kill every last one of you godless fuckin pieces of shit!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Question of Survival
Seth Gecko
Now I'm gonna ask you one question, and all I want is a yes or no answer: Do you wanna live through this?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Protecting Family from Threats
Seth Gecko
You touch my brother with that stake, biker, and vampires won't have to suck your blood. They'll be able to lick it up off the floor.
[puts a gun to Sex-Machine's head]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Journey to Mexico and Its Inhabitants
Kate Fuller
Where are you taking us?
Richie Gecko
Mexico.
Kate
What's in Mexico?
Richie
Mexicans.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Let's Get Ramblin
Seth Gecko
All right, ramblers... Let's get ramblin'.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Self-Reflection on Personal Stability
Seth Gecko
Now is my shit together, or is my shit together?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Self-Reflection of a Professional Thief
Seth Gecko
Do you think this is who I am? I am a professional thief, I don't run around killing people I don't have to.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Peace in Death and Life's Failures
Seth Gecko
Richie, here is the peace in death that I could not give you in life!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting the Reality of Vampires
Seth Gecko
I know what's going on. We got a bunch of fucking vampires out there trying to get in here and suck our fucking blood - and that's it, plain and simple! Now I don't want to hear anything about "I don't believe in vampires", cause I don't fucking believe in vampires, but I believe in my own two eyes, and what I saw is fucking vampires!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
House Rules for a Safe Encounter
Seth Gecko
Let me explain the house rules. Follow the rules, we'll get along like a house on fire. Rule number one: No noise, no questions. You make a noise... Mr. .44 makes a noise. You ask a question, Mr. .44 answers it.
[holds up gun]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Acceptance and Forgiveness in Difficult Times
Seth Gecko
I know that I have put you through hell, and I know that I have been one rough pecker. But from here on, you are all in my cool book.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflicted Decisions Under Pressure
Seth Gecko
What did I tell you? What did I say to you?! I said "Buy the road map and leave".
Richie Gecko
The fuck was I supposed to do, Seth? He recognized us.
Seth
He didn't recognize shit!
Richie
Seth, I'm telling you. The way he looked at us, you especially, I knew he knew.
Seth
Low profile". Do you understand the meaning of the words "low profile"?
Richie
Hey, Richie, how's your hand?" It hurts like a fucking son of a bitch. Thanks for asking, Seth!
Seth
Let me tell you what "low profile" is not! It is not taking girls hostage! It is not shooting police officers! It is not setting fire to a building!
Richie
Bitch, bitch, bitch.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Microwave Food and Band Violence Discussion
Earl McGraw
Jesus H. Christ, Pete. When you gonna learn that microwave food'll kill you faster than a bullet? I mean, them damn burritos ain't good for nothing but a hippie, when he's high on weed.
Sex Machine
Now let's kill that fuckin band.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Stay Calm and Improve Your Game
Seth Gecko
Well, your best better get a hell of a lot fucking better, or you are gonna feel a hell of a lot fucking worse. Everybody be cool. You — be cool!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.