14 quotes
Anticipating the Arrival of Wildlife
Andy Farmer
Cue the deer.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mr. Lamb Fries Introduction
Andy Farmer
Call me Mr. Lamb Fries!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Value of Property and Its Hidden Treasures
Sheriff Ledbetter
Remember, Mrs. Farmer. Whenever you buy a house, whatever's in the ground belongs to you - whether it's gold or oil... or Claude Musselman. (starts chuckling)
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Map's Importance in a Murder Case
Crocker
You still got that map?
[driving the moving van]
Mickey
Yeah.
Crocker
Don't lose it. It might be the piece of evidence that gets me off a murder charge.
Mickey
Who you gonna kill?
Crocker
The son of a bitch who drew that map.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Self-Pity and Defeatism
Elizabeth Farmer
What's going on, Andy...? You're sinking into a pit of self-pity, defeatism, and alcohol... and you're enjoying it!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Marital Betrayals in Funny Farm
Elizabeth Farmer
I'm willing to conceive that our marriage has been just a series of mutual betrayals! I know it! YOU know it! Even Yellow Dog knows it!
Andy Farmer
I know it and you know it! Yellow Dog doesn't even know what town he's in!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
From Novelist to Sportswriter: A Personal Reflection
Andy Farmer
As a novelist, I turned out to be a pretty good sportswriter.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing the Art of Deception
Andy Farmer
Being a fake is what I do best.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dreams of Escape and Reality Check
Newspaper Editor
Andy, all my life I've dreamed of packing up and leaving the city and the newspaper business behind.
Reporter
What stopped you, Jack?
Newspaper Editor
And moving to some quiet little town in the country and putting down on paper the novel I know I have inside me.
Reporter
That's not a novel, Jack, its heartburn.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Critique of Writing Expertise
Andy Farmer
You don't know a damn thing about writing! You're a goddamn schoolteacher, not an editor!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Costly Decisions in a New Adventure
Andy Farmer
This is going to cost us a fortune.
[Andy and Elizabeth are showing Redbud to prospective buyers Bud and Betsy after hiring the town to "act normal"]
Elizabeth Farmer
The fifty-dollar bonus was YOUR idea.
Andy Farmer
Little slice of heaven, isn't it, Bud?
[smiling]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Disillusionment in the Pursuit of Dreams
Andy Farmer
We came to Redbud filled with hopes and dreams of a better life. And basically, we've seen those hopes and dreams crushed and battered before our very eyes.
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Misleading Description of Hardwood Floors
Elizabeth Farmer
When they say hardwood floors, what they really mean is hard, wood floors.
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Camping Misadventures and Unlikely Comparisons
Crocker
You slept on the floor huh? We slept outside with the bugs and the wild animals. A bridge nearly killed us. Nobody knows where the hell Redbud is. And we haven't eaten since yesterday morning. So stay the hell out of our way and keep your mouth shut!
[reacting to Andy's anger about them, the movers, being late]
Mickey
This ain't a bridge. It's termites holding hands.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.