G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013) - Quotes

Zartan Reflects on His Thankless Job

Zartan: You know, they say this is a thankless job. But yesterday, I hung out with Bono. My new secret service; they want to burn the constitution. Literally. Do you know my favorite bit? I get to blow stuff up.

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Roadblock's Inquiry to Snake Eyes

Roadblock: [to Snake Eyes, after planning to take down Cobra Commander] Snake Eyes, how's all of that sound?

Roadblock: That's what I thought.

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Humorous Banter Among G.I. Joe Characters

Roadblock: That's on the rise. Like your panties.

Captain Duke Hauser: You love my panties.

Roadblock: That's an interesting choice of a joke. Of all the things you could say...

Captain Duke Hauser: Alright, ok, I'm just saying...

Roadblock: You love my panties?

Captain Duke Hauser: Are you going to shut up?

Roadblock: What does that mean?

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Unconventional Tactics in High-Stress Situations

Roadblock: [seeing Mouse is nervous] My first drop, I popped a live round into my mouth. It keeps your teeth from chattering. Give it a shot.

Mouse: Delicious.

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The Art of Fighting Ugly

Captain Duke Hauser: Anyone ever tell you, you fight ugly?

Roadblock: Not from their backs they don't.

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Need for a New Catchphrase

Captain Duke Hauser: Drive it like you stole it!

Roadblock: As your good friend, you need a new catchphrase.

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Introduction of Joe Colton's Character

Roadblock: General.

Joe Colton: Call me Joe.

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Trust and Loyalty Among the Joes

Flint: We have to assume that there's no one we could trust.

Roadblock: There is one man. He's the reason we call ourselves Joes.

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Health Concerns in a High-Stakes Situation

Joe Colton: You alright?

Lady Jaye: Yeah. Are you alright?

Joe Colton: My cholesterol's a little high.

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Morning Explosions Exceeding Daily Norms

Firefly: Making more things go boom before 9 am. than most people do all day.

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Confrontation and Anticipation of Victory

Firefly: [beating Roadblock] I want to see that face. The one where you realize today's the day. It's the face all those pretty little Joes had in the desert when I lit them all up like fireworks!

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Questioning Authority's Credibility

Flint: Well how come when the general says it, it sounds crazy?

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Cobra Commander Declares Revolution Has Started

Cobra Commander: The Cobra revolution has begun.

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Cobra Commander Dismisses Destro from Team

Cobra Commander: Destro... you're out of the band.

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A Message of Hopelessness Amidst Salesmanship

Warden Nigel James: Listen to me. I sound like a real estate agent. I'm not here to sell you anything. Except maybe hopelessness.

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Unexpected Encounter with a Fan

Warden Nigel James: Snake Eyes. Last place I thought I'd see you. Warden James. It's a pleasure. I'm a very big fan. I love the black. It's very Johnny Cash.

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Urgent Mission to Secure the Defector

Lady Jaye: Hustle up guys. You've got to get that defector and get the hell out of there. No delays.

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Questioning Intentions and Future Plans

President: Is this where I ask you what you have planned?

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Sweet Treats Selection by Joe Colton

Joe Colton: [sneaking up behind the Joes] I'll take 2 boxes of Thin Mints and a box of Chuckle Lucks.

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Questioning Authority in Unusual Circumstances

Joe Colton: It's not like I don't hear what you're saying. But an impostor president?

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Re-enlisting Despite Retirement Restrictions

Joe Colton: DOD says I can't come out of retirement. They didn't say anything about re-enlisting.

Acknowledging the Presence of Madness

Zartan: Firefly - good to see we're not running low on crazy.

Zartan's Humor on Waterboarding

Zartan: You know, they call it a waterboard... but I never get bored!

Cobra's Mission to Eliminate G.I. Joe

Zartan: On my orders, the covert special forces unit, codenamed Cobra, terminated with extreme prejudice Joe command, facilities, personnel. The GI Joes... are no more.

Desire for Power and Leadership

Zartan: Why does anyone want to be president? Everybody wants to rule the world.

Zartan's Take on Environmental Summits

Zartan: Well the good news is no global warming summit next month.

Appreciation for a Unique Mask Design

Zartan: [greeting Cobra Commander] Cool mask!

Roadblock's Frustration with Ninjas

Roadblock: Damn ninjas.

Overcoming Adversity to Serve as a Joe

Roadblock: I came here when I was fourteen, with a life expectancy of thirteen. I was bounced around from home to home until this... became my home. Guys would line up outside that door to fight me. They whooped my skinny ass so much I started to enjoy it. Until one winter, I grew eight inches, gained sixty pounds, punched a guy so hard he couldn't move his arm to tap out. Then when the Joes came recruiting to the hood, I'd already beaten down half of it. I became a Joe to serve. In the field. So if we're fighting uphill, we take the hill.

Acceptance of Fate in Uncertainty

Roadblock: In the immortal words of Jay-Z: "Whatever deity may guide my life, dear lord don't let me die tonight. But if I shall before I wake, I'd accept my fate.