20 quotes
A Promise from an Embezzler
S. Quentin Quale
I give you my solemn word as an embezzler, I'll be back in ten minutes.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Negotiating the Price of a Unique Hat
S. Quentin Quale
This is the last hat of it's kind. The beaver's have stopped making them. They're all out playing football. Ten dollars.
Joseph Panello
Well, he's a poor boy. He'll give you a dollar. Will you take it?
S. Quentin Quale
Well, I'll take it but I'm only making a buck on it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Accidental Resemblance to Real People
S. Quentin Quale
Any resemblance between these two characters and living persons is purely accidental!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Critique of Historical Relationships and Betrayals
S. Quentin Quale
Are you insinuating that the white man is not the Indian's friend? Ha! Who swindled you out of Manhattan Island for 24 dollars?
Joseph Panello
White man.
S. Quentin Quale
Who turned you into wood and stood you in front of a cigar store?
Joseph Panello
White man.
S. Quentin Quale
Who put your head on a nickel and then took the nickel away?
Joseph Panello
Slot machine.
S. Quentin Quale
Members of the tribe - I rest my case.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Fun Adventure Full of Laughter and Music
Taglines
Rip-Roaring With Laughs, Girls, Songs!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ultimate Musical Comedy Experience
Taglines
The Looniest, Tuniest Musical Gag-And-Gal Show Since "]
[[A Night at the Opera (film)|A Night At The Opera]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Law of the West: Shoot or Be Shot
S. Quentin Quale
There's only one law in the west: the law of blood and bullets. It's either shoot or be shot. What are we gonna do?
Joseph Panello
Sue'em!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discontent with the Western lifestyle
Joseph Panello
Rusty, I no like-a the West. All-a the people do is kill each other. I like-a the West better if it was in the East. Let's get outta here.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Corruption and Confusion About My Pants
S. Quentin Quale
There's something corrupt going on around my pants but I just can't seem to locate it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Recognition in Unexpected Moments
S. Quentin Quale
Lulubelle, it's you! I didn't recognize you standing up.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humorous Reflection on Unpreparedness in Conflict
S. Quentin Quale
I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cultural Misunderstandings in Friendship Attempts
Indian
White man talk too much. Make Chief heap mad.
S. Quentin Quale
White man, red man's friend. White man want to make friends with red brother.
Joseph Panello
And sister, too.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Recognizing Deception in a Crook's Confession
Joseph Panello
You said you was an embezzler, but, you no fool me. I knew you was a crook!
[to Quale]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Impact of Time on Character Flaws
S. Quentin Quale
Time wounds all heels.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Exchange on Family History
Joseph Panello
My father-a shot the Indians in eighteen forty-two
S. Quentin Quale
Oh, he should-a shot the stork-a, when the stork-a brought-a you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Round-Up Time in the Wild West
Taglines
JUMP INTO YOUR BOOTS AND SADDLES...IT'S ROUND-UP TIME IN THE WILD AND WOOLY WEST!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Business Over Love
S. Quentin Quale
I'm not in business for love, you know. I was in love once and I got the business.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confusion About Ceiling and Floor Orientation
S. Quentin Quale
I'm not drunk, but, what's the ceiling doing on the floor?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Illusion of Justice Before Execution
S. Quentin Quale
What did he say?
Joseph Panello
He said, first they're going to give us a fair trial, then they kill us.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Fanning Love's Flames with Indifference
S. Quentin Quale
You must fan the flames of love with the bellows of indifference.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.