16 quotes
Authenticity in Unexpected Places
Claire
You know what I like about you? And it's not your face. You're only medium-cute. But I think it's you're the first non-fake person I've met here. It's kind of nice.
Todd
Professional curiosity: What are you on?
Claire
I'm serious.
Todd
So am I. What are you on?
Claire
Ginseng and Dexatrim. You know what I like best about Christmas? The surprises. You get this box and you're sure you know what's inside. You shake it, weigh it, convinced you have it pegged. No doubt in your mind. But then you open it up, and it's different. You know. Wow! Bang! Surprise! It's kind of like you and me here, you know? I'm not saying it's anything it's not. Come on, this time yesterday, who would've thunk it?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Assessing the Consequences of Choices Made
Zack
It really didn't go as bad as it could have.
Adam
A girl is dead, Zack.
Zack
I didn't say it went perfectly.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Generational Competence and Moral Decline
Victor Sr.
You know what wakes me up in the middle of the night covered in a cold sweat? Knowing that you aren't any worse than anyone else in your whole screwed up generation. In the old days, you know how you got to the top? Huh? By being better than the guy ahead of you. How do you people get to the top? By being so fucking incompetent, that the guy ahead of you can't do his job, so he falls on his ass and congratulations, you are now on top. And now the top is down here, it used to be up here... and you don't even know the fucking difference.
Singh
Just so we're clear, you stole a car, shot a bouncer, and had sex with two women?
[to Simon]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Life Begins at 3 AM
Taglines
life begins at 3am.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Mishap In A Comedic Encounter
Tiny
Peep this. This chick's bobbing up and down on my dick like ]...
[[w:Marilyn Chambers|Marilyn Chambers]
Singh
She found your dick?
Tiny
Then she moves around the outside. She's painting the tree. It hits her in the eye. And her contact? It's, like, stuck on the end of my dick. Yo, her contact is stuck on the end of my dick!
Marcus
Was it hard or soft?
Tiny
What, my dick?
Singh
The contact lens.
Marcus
Remember if it was colored? That she had two blue eyes and now one blue and one brown?
Tiny
What does it matter?
Marcus
It matters because it happened to me. That was my story. I told that story a year ago, man. The difference is I knew those small details. That and my story was true.
Tiny
Whatever.
Marcus
Whatever"?
Tiny
Whatever.
Marcus
What do you mean?
Tiny
Pull your stinky dinky out of my ass! I was making conversation. Fuck! Give a nigger a break!
Marcus
Nigger"? What nigger, this nigger?
Tiny
I told you my mother's mother's mother was black.
Marcus
This ain't ]. Show me this Nubian's picture.
[[w:Roots: The Saga of an American Family|Roots]
Tiny
I don't carry her picture.
Marcus
If you were less black, you'd be clear.
Tiny
She was black as night!
Marcus
Okay, stop! Truce!
Tiny
Shut up! Man, I see black. I know I am. Color's a state of mind, Marcus.
Marcus
You know, you're right.
Singh
Thank you, ].
[[w:Rhythm Nation|Rhythm Nation]
Tiny
Fuck you, Vanilla Ice.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Impact of a Comic Strip
Claire
Thanks for buying me breakfast. Unless you wanna sit alone, I can...
Todd
No. Fine.
Claire
See, I knew you weren't all evil...So, what do you have against The Family Circus?
Todd
Okay. You sit down and read your paper, and you're enjoying your entire two-page comics spread. Right? And then there's the Family fucking Circus, bottom right-hand corner, just waiting to suck. And that's the last thing you read, so it spoils everything you read before it.
Claire
You could just not read it.
Todd
I hate it, yet I'm uncontrollably drawn to it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Moral Complications in a Compromised Industry
Todd
Hey Ronna, how are sales?
Ronna
Todd, I can explain
Todd
I'm not going to ask you to. It's not like I'm in a highly ethical industry. But Goddamned, Ronna. You fucked me over for twenty lousy hits!
Ronna
It's not what it looks like. It sort of is, but it's complicated. Not really. I know I fucked up, okay? Please...I can make it up to you.
Todd
I'm the last person you should ask a favor from.
Ronna
I have the money. I have more than I owe you.
Todd
So now you're an entrepreneur.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The World is Yours When Lights Dim
Taglines
When the lights go down, the world is yours.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perspective on Attraction and Tragedy
Claire Montgomery
Gay men are so hot. It's tragic.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Negotiation Breakdown Between Burke and Ronna
Burke
Ronna, hon, do we got a deal here or not?
Ronna
No, actually, we don't. I came to tell you I couldn't get anything.
Burke
A resourceful girl like you? I don't believe that.
Ronna
It's true.
Burke
I just wanna make a deal here. Can we?
Ronna
Who the fuck are you? ]? Did you know I'm only 16? I probably shouldn't be drinking beer. Seeing as I'm so...underage and all?
[[w:Monty Hall|Monty Hall]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Brief Exchange on Money Issues
Simon
Lend me some money.
Marcus
Man, where's your money?
Simon
I lost it.
Marcus
We've been here five minutes.
Simon
I played this game at a $100 table and didn't understand it. Now I do. I figured out how to beat it.
Marcus
Cool. Give me your wallet.
Simon
Here you go. What're you doing?
Marcus
Come back in an hour for it. In an hour, I'll give you your money. Now get out. You're bad luck.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Requests and Consequences in Friendship
Ronna
I need a favor.
Todd
Wow, I didn't know we'd become such good friends, because if we had, you'd know that I give head before I give favors and I don't even give my best friends head so your chances of getting a favor are pretty fucking slim. Tell me what you wanna buy.
Ronna
Twenty hits of Ecstasy.
Todd
You come to me out of the blue, asking to buy 20 hits. Just so happens that 20 being the magic number at which intent to sell becomes trafficking!
Ronna
Todd, I would never fuck you like that.
Todd
How would you fuck me?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Exploring the Depths of Sexual Experience
Marcus
The thing is, most people don't know how to make love. They stick it in, move it around till they get off. But what Tantra teaches you is how to deepen, prolong the sexual experience. Bring it to a higher level. If one man in 10 was having the sex I'm having, there'd be no war.
Simon
What's the longest you two ever did it?
Marcus
Fourteen hours.
Simon
Holy shit! How many times you shoot?
Marcus
Not once, man.
Simon
You didn't go once? Not even at the end?
Marcus
You redirect the orgasm inside. How long do your orgasms last? Two, three seconds? I've had orgasms that have lasted up to an hour and a half.
Simon
That's bullshit!
Marcus
Honest to God and I mean Allah.
Tiny
Word.
Marcus
Word.
Simon
Wait. No love. When'd you last get off?
Marcus
I haven't ejaculated in six months. Anyone can do it. It just takes discipline.
Tiny
Bullshit. You're some ] motherfucker.
[[w:Obi-Wan Kenobi|Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Simon
You call me old school. I'm for coming and going.
Marcus
Hour and a half.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Christmas Wishes and Misunderstandings
Todd
What do you want for Christmas, Claire?
Claire
I don't know.
Todd
You wanna get laid?
Claire
No.
Todd
No, you don't wanna get laid, or no, you do, but you don't wanna get laid - with me?
Claire
Look, they'll be here. They'll be here.
Todd
Are you a virgin?
Claire
What?
Todd
Come on, Claire. Answer the question. Answer the question, Claire!
Claire
]. I get it. Very funny.
[pause; [Breakfast Club]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Confusing Encounter with a Drug Dealer
Marcus
What the hell you doing with a gold...Todd Gaines? The drug dealer.
[as Simon checks into the hotel with a credit card]
Simon
He gets a discount here. He let me borrow it. He's a good guy.
Marcus
He's the good drug dealer. Right. Sometimes I get confused.
Simon
Relax, we're gonna pay cash. That's just to get the room.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Value of a Weekend Experience
Taglines
A weekend wasted is never a wasted weekend.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.