15 quotes
Father and son confront trust issues
Ted Haines Sr.
Where have you been the last two weeks?
Ted Haines Jr.
Well, dad, I've been in a blue heaven dancing on a pink cloud. She came in on a moonbeam.
Ted Haines Sr.
That's a lie. I had you followed.
Ted Haines Jr.
That wasn't cricket, dad. When you were my age, I didn't follow you around.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Golf Courses as Outdoor Poolrooms
Father Fitzgibbons
A golf course is nothing but a poolroom moved outdoors.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Finding the Right Words in Reflection
Father Fitzgibbons
I'm sure that the way to say what I'd like to say will occur to me after you've gone.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstandings in Parish Care Advice
Father Fitzgibbons
Well, did you make your parish calls?
Father Chuck O'Malley
Oh, yes. Mrs. McGonigle's rheumatism is kicking up again. I told her to bury a potato in the back yard.
Father Fitzgibbons
That's for warts.
Father Chuck O'Malley
That's what she said.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflections on Hope and Aging
Father Fitzgibbons
Hope? You know, Chuck, when you're young, it's easy to keep the fires of hope burning bright. But at my age, you're lucky if the pilot light doesn't go out.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflict Over Church's Future and Legacy
Ted Haines Jr.
He wants to tear down the church and make a parking lot out of it. Can you imagine it? He's a very disliked man. I'm sort of following in his footsteps.
Father Chuck O'Malley
Junior, hmm?
Ted Haines Jr.
Yeah.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Advice on Discretion and Conduct
Father Chuck O'Malley
Keep your head down now, father. And watch your language.
[to Father Fitzgibbons as he goes to chip a golf shot out of a sand trap]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Lighthearted Exchange on Pilot Lights
Father Chuck O'Malley
Here, take this. That'll keep the pilot light burning.
[Gives a spoonful of medicine to Father Fitzgibbon]
Father Fitzgibbons
Yes, it ought to. Tastes like it has kerosene in it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion of Ted's Injury and Recognition
Father Chuck O'Malley
Poor young Ted has been wounded in Africa.
Father Fitzgibbons
Ah, too bad.
Father Chuck O'Malley
They're shipping him home.
Father Fitzgibbons
Fine, upstanding young fellow. Maybe they'll decorate him.
Father Chuck O'Malley
Nnnno, I doubt it. Some friend of his ran over him in a jeep.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Father Fitzgibbons Offers His Blessing
Father Fitzgibbons
I gave them both my blessing.
Father Fitzgibbons
Yeah.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Bing's Little Angels: A Tough Gang
Taglines
Bing's "little angels" - the roughest gang this side of reform school!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Advice on Lending Money to Churches
Ted Haines Sr.
Son, never loan money to a church. As soon as you start to close in on them, everybody thinks you're a heel.
Ted Haines Jr.
Well, aren't you?
Ted Haines Sr.
Yeah.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Bing's Impact on St. Louis Baseball
Taglines
When the St. Louis Browns lost Bing, the Cardinal got a good singer!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Community Support in Church
Father Chuck O'Malley
Mr. Haines is going to give us a mortgage to take care of the difference.
Ted Haines Sr.
That's right, father. He convinced me I have a heart. And, after all, it wouldn't be a church without a mortgage.
Father Fitzgibbons
That's right. That's right.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Encouraging a Relaxing Outing for Stress Relief
Father Fitzgibbons
You know how to manage these old fussbudgets. Take him out on the golf course. Bring him out in the fresh air.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.