8 quotes
Motherhood and the Logic of Parenting
Amy
For the last time, no!
PJ
She thinks that's going to be the last time.
[walking behind]
Teddy
So I'm old enough to take care of Charlie but not myself? Mom, that doesn't make any sense!
Amy
Sweetheart, I'm your mother, I never make sense.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Fashion Magazines: No Reading Required
Teddy
Look, I bought magazines at the bus station.
Amy
Yeah, I'm not really up for reading right now.
Teddy
Oh, don't worry, these are fashion magazines. They don't require any reading at all!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstanding Between Officer and Amy
Small Town Cop
Just let it go, ma'am.
Amy
Oh, for the last time, I didn't hit anybody.
Small Town Cop
Yeah, I know. You were just gesturing for emphasis.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Family Humor in Holiday Chaos
Gabe
Grandpa's lost his mind.
Bob
Well, it's one more thing he and Grandma have in common.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Important Message from Dad
Bob
Uh, kids, very important.
PJ
What?
Bob
The... thing that your mom said.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Observations on Odd Behaviors and Desserts
Amy
Do they seem a little weird to you?
Teddy
Yeah. Almost as weird as you eating a napkin for dessert.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Antique Purchase Explained in Simple Terms
Gabe
Grandpa, how'd you get an antique like this?
Grandpa
I bought it new.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Toddler-Proofing for Christmas Travel Plans
Teddy
Guess what, Charlie? We're one day away from going on your first trip on an airplane, and celebrating our first Christmas at Grandma and Grandpa's new condo in Palm Springs! You're going to have so much fun.
[doing a selfie video]
Amy
No, no, no, Mom, you have to toddler-proof the place.
[nearby on the phone]
Teddy
Just so long as you don't touch anything.
[continuing her video]
Amy
No, anything breakable has to be at least three feet off the ground.
Charlie
Uh-oh.
Amy
Make that four. I gotta go. Charlie! Get back in here! No, no, no, stay away, there's shards everywhere! Are you eating a cookie in the living room? You get back here! And stay away!
[broken vase at her little feet]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.