22 quotes
College degree with added benefits
Taglines
Get a college degree with everything on it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Ambition and Opportunity in a Burger Empire
Fred
Nice spread you have here, Mr. Vunk.
Lyman Vunk
It took a lot of burgers to fill a Buster house like this, young man!
Lyman Vunk
You play your cards right, and you could have everything that I have!
Fred
Everything?
Lyman Vunk
Everything!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Demands and Unconventional Encounters
Russell
(assuming it's his roommate who has just went out hoping to get laid) Don't tell me, you forgot your dick!
Conchita
(bursting in with a submachine gun) I...want yours!
Conchita
Oy, Conchita Margarita Consuela Mario Henya Lopez Nazanine never takes no for an answer...now strip.
Conchita
Your clothes - you take them off, and make love to me now.
Russell
Conchita, Conchita, there is no sex at Buster Burger U.!
Conchita
Oh yea?
Russell
Ok, the pants...
Russell
Are we satisfied?
Conchita
Ah, I will tell you seven orgasms from now.
Conchita
Make that eleven.
Russell
Jesus, it's just not my day.
Conchita
You will do as I say...or I will scream rape.
Russell
Conchita, can we talk about this?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Reactions in a Tense Moment
Mrs. Vunk
oh...oh...
Drill Sergeant
You're soaking wet, Mrs. Vunk.
Mrs. Vunk
ah...spicy...chicken balls.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Name Confusion in a Humorous Exchange
Drill Sergeant
Nazanine? Is that your real name or what?
Conchita
Conchita Margarita Consuela Mario Henya Lopez Nazanine. It's real, mi general.
Drill Sergeant
It says here you're from "GWOK-a-mole". You look like you're from "GWOK-a-mole"!
Conchita
Gwok-a-MOL-ee"!
Drill Sergeant
Whatever!
Conchita
I have come to your country to learn the fast way to feed my starving people of the south.
Drill Sergeant
Then you came to the right place, sister.
Sister Sara
Yes?
Drill Sergeant
No!
Sister Sara
Sorry...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Student's Struggle at Burger University
Taglines
Russell's been kicked out of seven colleges. His last hope is Burger U. Now he's majoring in bull.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Sexual Self-Control
Undergraduate Counselor
Expelled - lewd conduct, expelled - nude conduct, hospitalized...your thing in a sling...?
Undergraduate Counselor
Do you believe yourself to be God's gift to women?
Russell
No, of course not! I just ask a girl to a movie and before we even leave the house we're in bed. It's been like this since my freshman year. I haven't seen a movie since E.T.!
Undergraduate Counselor
Russell, you must learn to exercise a little...sexual self control, if you expect to succeed in life.
Undergraduate Counselor
Now, I know that these are liberal times...
Undergraduate Counselor
...And well...I'm not exactly blind.
Undergraduate Counselor
It's no secret what women of all ages want...
Undergraduate Counselor
...Virile...hard bodied...young men.
Undergraduate Counselor
Like you.
Undergraduate Counselor
Let's find out...
Undergraduate Counselor
Oh...oh...
Undergraduate Counselor
Ah!
Undergraduate Counselor
Oh, Dean Doobery!
Russell
Oh, my father is gonna kill me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humor Worth Savoring
Taglines
...it's funny enough to eat!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Hot Flashes in a Tense Moment
Mrs. Vunk
Oh...ah...
Drill Sergeant
You're ok, Mrs. Vunk?
Mrs. Vunk
Ah...ah...
Mia Vunk
She's got, ah, hot flashes.
Mrs. Vunk
I do?
Drill Sergeant
Kind of young for hot flashes, aren't you?
Mrs. Vunk
Well, I...I...I got it from my husband.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conchita's Quest for a Real Man
Conchita
Ah, you fruit-ah-cake!
Conchita
What good are you?!
Conchita
I come to this country to find a real man...and I will!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desires and Misunderstandings Among Characters
Russell
Ah, If you're looking for a payphone, forget it.
Biker Gang Leader
I want a woman!
Conchita
A real man!
Biker Gang Leader
Ok!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Informed Choices in Consumer Responsibility
Lyman Vunk
You eat it, you buy it!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation Over Cookies in Hamburger Movie Scene
Lyman Vunk
Put those cookies back...MOTHERFUCKER.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Love for Dining Out
Fred
I love eating out!
Russell
You're a dead man!
Fred
Then I wanna die like this!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Service Rights and Customer Behavior
Lyman Vunk
We reserve the right...to refuse service...to ASSHOLES like YOU.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Bold Proposal for a Unique Night
Mrs. Vunk
Fred?
Fred
Yea?
Mrs. Vunk
I'll trade in all 70,000 franchises for just one night of stiff board banging with a human piledriver like you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Desires in Conversation
Conchita
Now you tell me, what would you like for the woman to do to you?
Russell
(Smiles as he comes up with an plan) Oh, the woman? Nothing!
Conchita
Nothing?! Then what excites you?
Russell
Oh, tall, dark, sexy, sweaty, sun-tanned guerrilla fighters.
Conchita
Si...si, si, si.
Russell
Like your brother.
Conchita
(rolls down off him) No!
Russell
(starts talking and waiving his hands in a stereotyped gay fashion) Oh yes! He...he spends up a whole day fighting in the hills, single handedly killing half a dozen government troops with his great, big machete.
Russell
Hmm, the sun is setting, he comes home. I'm waiting for him by the campfire...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Mother's Approval of Food
Mrs. Vunk
Hmm...hmm...
Mia Vunk
Good?
Mrs. Vunk
Hmm...the best.
Mrs. Vunk
Yea...ah...hmm.
Drill Sergeant
What the hell is happening?
Mrs. Vunk
That big.
Drill Sergeant
Well, this is the only table that's having one...
Mrs. Vunk
Yea...yeaaaa...
Mrs. Vunk
Yea...yea...
Mrs. Vunk
Yea...yea...
Mrs. Vunk
Yea...ah...oh!
Mrs. Vunk
Oh, oh, ohhhh!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Reunion Between Mrs. Cratchmatter and Russell
Mrs. Cratchmatter
Russell Procope!
Russell
Mrs. Cratchmatter!
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Shoe Debate Between Fred and Mrs. Vunk
Fred
Can you put this on?
Mrs. Vunk
They're off, Fred...
Fred
No, put your shoes back on, Mrs. Vunk.
Mrs. Vunk
Why, Fred...?
Fred
I like heels.
Mrs. Vunk
Oh!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Bulls in Every Bite
Lyman Vunk
Lots of bulls...in every bite.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Boundaries at BusterBurger University
Conchita
I was hoping you to show. I am Conchita Nazanine. In "Gwokamolee" I am known as "The Lay of The Land".
Conchita
I could teach you things you never knew could happen between two peoples!
Russell
Ah, not tonight! No sex at BusterBurger U., remember?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.