Head of State (2003) - Quotes

Taglines: The only thing white is the House.

Mays Gilliam: [[w:Apollo Theater|Apollo; [James Brown; [w:Luther Vandross|Luther Vandross] You're right, Vice-President Lewis. I am an amateur. When it comes to creating so many enemies that we need billions of dollars to protect ourselves, I'm an amateur. When it comes to paying farmers not to grow food while people in this country starve every day, I'm an amateur. When it comes to creating a drug policy that makes crack and heroin cheaper than asthma and AIDS medicine, I'm an amateur. But there's nothing wrong with being an amateur. The people that started the Underground Railroad were amateurs. Martin Luther King was an amateur. Have you ever been to Amateur Night at the ]? Some of the world's best talent was there: ], ], Rockwell, the Crown Heights Affair.

Martin Geller: Hall and Oates!

Gilliam: The Fat Boys, Rob Base. But you wouldn't know nothing about that. Why? Because when it comes to judging talent and potential.. you, my friend, are an amateur!

Vice-President Brian Lewis: I believe the alderman is over his time.

Gilliam: No, no you had eight years of talk. Now it's my turn. I'm gonna get mine. I'm getting mine!

Arbiter: [reacting to audience] Ladies and gentlemen, hold your applause, please.

Gilliam: [everybody laughs at the description; to Lewis; waves hand; entire audience is on standing ovation] How can you help the poor if you never been poor? How can you stop crime if you don't know no criminals? How can you make drug policy if you never smoked a chronic? How can you do that? Just a nickel bag. I'm a real American. I've been high, I've been robbed, I've been broke. My credit is horrible. They won't even take my cash! Now, you're always talking about "God bless America, and no place else," but isn't it obvious that God has blessed America? America is the richest, most powerful nation on Earth. If America was a woman, America would be a big-titty woman and everybody loves a big-titted woman. So in closing, I'd like to say you are full of shit! "God bless America and no place else." How about "God bless Haiti"? How about "God bless Africa"? How about "God bless Jamaica"? I'm not talking about Jamaica, the beach tribes y'all love, I'm talking about stabbing in Jamaica. That's what I'm talking about. So tonight, I want to say God bless America, and everybody else! The whole world! God bless you! I'm Mays Gilliam, and I'm running for President of the United States of America. Ya heard?

Mays Gilliam: Your mother's ass is so big, when she sits down she's three feet taller. Yo, Lewis! Your mother's got a really big ass!

Lewis Advisor: Sir, it's time we prepare for a debate.

Vice-President Brian Lewis: Nah, give me one good reason I should debate that jerk.

Lewis Advisor: He talked about your mother, sir!

Lewis: [gets slapped by his mother, who does have a large butt] So what?

Mrs Lewis: [tearfully walks off] Are you going to just let him talk about me like that?

Maureen Levert: How would you deal with white-collar crime?

Mitch Gilliam: There's no such thing as white-collar crime. and there's no such thing as black-on-black crime. Crime is crime. Let me explain something to you: I don't care if you have a white collar or a tank top. If you rob me, I'll whoop your ass.

Mays Gilliam: [takes off coat] They had a speech written for me about what the people need, but you guys are the people. You know what you need. Better schools, better jobs, less crime. How many of you, right now work two jobs just to have enough money to be broke? That ain't right. If you work two jobs, and at the end of the week, you got just enough money to get your broke ass home, Let me hear you say, "That ain't right!

Crowd: That ain't right!

Gilliam: How many of you have children that they call stupid? Don't be ashamed! It ain't your fault. I asked my niece the other day, "What's four plus four?" She said, "44." But that ain't her fault! That's the school's fault. If your child's school has old-ass books and brand-new metal detectors, let me hear you say, "That ain't right!

Crowd: That ain't right!

Gilliam: [[w:Last will and testament|will] It ain't right. And now we got these corporations stealing all the money. They ain't stealing their money, they stealing our money! The pension. You work for 35 years. You thought you'd leave your kids a ], now you're gonna leave them with a won't! You show up to get your pension, they give you a pen! Give you a damn pen! What in the hell am I supposed to do with a pen? I should stab you in the neck with this pen, Mr. Pension Taker.

Old man: [stands up and points at Mays] Get your hand out of my pocket!

Gilliam: Taking everybody's pension, and nobody going to jail.

Mitch Gilliam: [to attendee] That's some bullshit. Ain't it?

Mays: Meanwhile, you and I steal a Big Mac with cheese next thing you know, we on Death Row!

Crowd: That ain't right!

Gilliam: [as crowds get more agitated; crowd responds with That ain't right! with every question; to campaign staffers; to crowd] How many of you work in a city you can't afford to live in? That ain't right! How many of you work in a mall you can't afford to shop in? That ain't right! How many of you clean up a hotel... you ain't never gonna be able to stay in? That ain't right! And we got nurses that work in hospitals they can't even afford to get sick in. It ain't right! It ain't right. It ain't right. It isn't right! That shit is wrong! It's dead wrong!