32 quotes
Conflict and Betrayal Among Friends
Heather Chandler
You stupid fuck!
Veronica
You goddamn bitch!
Heather Chandler
You were nothing before you met me! You were playing Barbies with Betty Finn! You were a bluebird! You were a brownie! You were a Girl Scout cookie! I got you into a Remington party! What's my thanks? It's on a hallway carpet. I got paid in puke!
Veronica
LICK IT UP, BABY! Lick! It! Up!
Heather Chandler
Monday morning, you're history. I'll tell everyone about tonight. Transfer to Washington. Transfer to Jefferson. Nobody at Westerburg's gonna let you play their reindeer games!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Contemplating Life After Destruction
Jason "J.D." Dean
Let's pretend I blew up the school - all the schools. Now that you're dead, what are you gonna do with your life?
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Faith and Guidance in Troubled Times
Father Ripper
We must pray the other teenagers of Sherwood, Ohio know the name of that righteous dude who can solve their problems: it's ] Christ, and he's in the book.
[[Jesus]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Recognition of Unexpected Power
Jason "J.D." Dean
Color me impressed. You, uh... you really fucked me up pretty bad, Veronica. You, um... you got power, power I didn’t think you had. The slate is clean.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Burden of Popularity in High School
Heather Chandler
They all want me as a friend or a fuck. I'm worshipped at Westerburg and I'm only a junior.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Veronica's Challenge to Heather's Authority
Veronica Sawyer
What is your damage, Heather?!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Impact of Suicide on Personal Privacy
Heather McNamara
Suicide is a private thing.
Veronica
Heather, you're throwing your life away to become a statistic in the US-fucking-A Today! That's about the least private thing I can think of!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Struggle for Respectful Treatment
Veronica
All we want is to be treated like human beings, not to be experimented on like guinea pigs or patronized like bunny rabbits.
Veronica's Dad
I don't patronize bunny rabbits!
Veronica's Mom
Treated like human beings? Is that what you just said, Little Miss Voice of a Generation? Just how do you think adults act with other adults? You think it's all just a game of doubles tennis? When teenagers complain about wanting to be treated like human beings, it's usually because they're being treated like human beings.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Impact of Extremes on Perception
Jason "J.D." Dean
The extreme always seems to make an impression.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflicted Reflections on Friendship and Betrayal
Veronica Sawyer
Dear Diary, Betty Finn was a true friend and I sold her out for a bunch of Swatch dogs and Diet Coke heads. Killing Heather would be like offing the wicked witch of the west... wait east. West! God! I sound like a fucking psycho.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Father's Love and Societal Expectations
Kurt's Dad
My son's a homosexual, and I love him. I love my dead gay son.
[at Kurt and Ram's funeral]
J.D.
Wonder how he'd react if his son had a limp wrist with a pulse.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation Over Color Choices and Identity
Heather Chandler
Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast? First you ask if you can be red, knowing that I'm always red.
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Consequences of a Dark Joke
Veronica
Oh my God! I just killed my best friend!
J.D.
And your worst enemy!
Veronica
Same difference!
J.D.
What are we gonna tell the cops? "Fuck it if she can't take a joke, Sarge"?!
Veronica
Oh, the cops! I can't believe this is my life! Oh my God! I'm gonna have to send my SAT scores to San Quentin instead of Stanford!
J.D.
Ah, right. Just a little freaked here. Well, at least you got what ya wanted, ya know?
Veronica
Got what I wanted?! It is one thing to want somebody out of your life! It is another thing to serve them a wake-up cup full of liquid drainer!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Call for Maturity and Change
Heather Chandler
Grow up, Heather. ]’s so ’87.
[[w:Bulimia|Bulimia]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Love and Slushies: A Bold Proposition
Jason "J.D." Dean
Our love is god, let's go get a slushie!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Boredom in the Afterlife
Heather Chandler
God, Veronica. My afterlife is so boring. If I have to sing Kumbaya one more time…
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Critique of High School Culture and Masculinity
Jason "J.D." Dean
Football season is over, Veronica. Kurt and Ram had nothing left to offer the school except date rapes and AIDS jokes.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflicted Prayers and Dark Humor in Tragedy
Heather McNamara
Oh God, this is a tragic thing, and sometimes I have a hard time dealing with it and stuff. Please send Heather to Heaven and all that.
[praying over Heather Chandler's casket]
Peter Dawson
Dear God, please make sure this never happens to me, cause I don't think I can handle suicide. Plus, early acceptance into an Ivy League school and please let it be Harvard. Amen.
Ram Sweeney
Jesus, God in Heaven, why did you have to kill such hot snatch? It's a joke, man. Jeez, people are so serious. Hail Mary, who aren't in heaven, pray for all us sinners so we don't get caught. —Another joke, man.
Heather Duke
I prayed for the death of Heather Chandler many times, and I felt bad every time I did it, but I kept doing it anyway. Now I know you understood everything. Praise Jesus! Hallelujah!
[smiles]
Veronica Sawyer
Hi, I'm sorry. Technically I did not kill Heather Chandler, but hey, who am I trying to kid, right? I just want my high school to be a nice place. Amen. Did that sound bitchy?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Casual Introductions in Heathers
Jason "J.D." Dean
Greetings and Salutations.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Call for Maturity and Acceptance
Veronica Sawyer
I say we just grow up, be adults, and die.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Boundaries in Friendship
Heather Duke
Veronica, why are you pulling my dick?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Bold Statement on Personal Appearance
Heather Chandler
Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like ]?
[[Mother Teresa]
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Conflict Over Control and Consequences
J.D.
Do you think that just because you started this thing you can end it?!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Teen Angst and Consequences in Chaos
Veronica Sawyer
Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count. Everybody's sad...but it's kind of a weird kind of sad. Suicide gave Heather depth, Kurt a soul, Ram a brain! I don't know what it's given me, but I have no control over myself when I'm with J.D.! Are we going to prom or to hell?!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Peer Pressure in Youth Culture
Veronica
If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you?
Heather McNamara
Probably.
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Embracing Chaos and Its Consequences
Jason "J.D." Dean
Today was great, chaos is great! Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling.
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Struggles with Friendship and Popularity
J.D.
Is your life perfect?
Veronica
I'm on my way to a party at Remington University... No, my life's not perfect. I don't really like my friends.
J.D.
I...I don't really like your friends either.
Veronica
Well, it's just like - they're people I work with, and our job is being popular and shit.
J.D.
Maybe it's time to take a vacation.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Friendship and Rivalry in Heathers
Veronica
Heather, why can't you just be a friend? Why do you have to be such a megabitch?!
Heather Duke
Because I can be.
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Teasing Turns Dark in Unrequited Love
Jason "J.D." Dean
I can't believe you did it. I was teasing. I loved you. Course, I was coming up here to kill ya...
[finding Veronica, who has apparently hung herself]
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Lessons on Life and Self-Discovery
Veronica Sawyer
Dear Diary: Heather told me she teaches people "real life." She said real life sucks losers dry. You want to fuck with the eagles, you have to learn to fly. I said, so you teach people how to spread their wings and fly? She said, "Yes." I said, "You're beautiful.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cafeteria Policies on Inclusivity and Behavior
Kurt
Hey, Ram, doesn't this cafeteria have a no fags policy?
J.D.
Well, they, uh, seem to have an open door policy on assholes, though, don't they?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Complexity of Human Happiness
Veronica Sawyer
If you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn't be a human being, you'd be a game show host.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.