Heavyweights (1995) - Quotes

Tony: [''Leading a meditation exercise''] Repulse the monkey...part the wild horse's mane.

Tony: [''Tony chases Josh down a hill and Josh gets a leg cramp''] Congratulations, you've just joined the 76% of Americans who forget to stretch before doing any physical activity.

Tony: First we're going to take an hour meditation break. Then we're going to climb that 1000-foot rock face over there with our bare hands and feet. I know you can do it, I have faith in you. But for now, observe the silence of the chi.

Tony: Attention campers, the topic for tonight's discussion is, "Liposuction: Option or Obsession.

Nicholas: [''to Camp MVP member after beating him in naming five American Vice Presidents''] You Americans have NO sense of history.

Pat: We're as good as anybody, it's time we started acting like it. First we've got to take control of ourselves before we can take control of this camp. We've got to get healthy for ourselves. We start respecting ourselves, *no one* can touch us. That's right, you heard me right.

Gerry: [''voice-over while writing letter to grandma, he glances at Josh's empty bed and continues''] At least Josh got out...where there's food. We have to resort...to more desperate measures.

Sam: WATCH OUT FOR *SALAMI SAM*!

Julie: [''in the Camp Hell video''] As a healthcare professional, I would like to take this opportunity to warn you that Tony Perkins weight loss system is not only ineffective, it's also downright dangerous. If he isn't stopped, somebody's child, maybe *yours*, *will* be hurt.

Lars: Congratulations, Mr. Simms. You are the fattest boy in camp.

Lars: [''Pushes another kid in the water''] Hey, don't pee in the water! Hey, don't drink the water, he peed in it!

Lars: Now, I must inform you, I have a severely deviated septum. When I sleep I make a very disturbing sound...Don't be alarmed, I am fine. Now…go to sleep…

Lars: I'm feeling skinny, Tony!

Pat: And what did we learn today?

Roy: [''wagging his index finger seriously''; [w:Twinkies|Twinkies] Don't put ] on your pizza.

Julie: Oh my gosh... is that Tim?

Tim: [''dancing around the bonfire, shirtless and covered in chocolate sauce, and chowing down on a bag of marshmallows''] WHOOOOO!

Pat: [[w:S'more|S'more] ..He looks like a human ].

Gerry: Don't tell anyone, but I uh…snuck in some Oreos. Just in case.

Josh: That was very sneaky of you, Gerry. Chipmunks! Download! Now!

Roy: Funny, Josh. But really man, what happened? Talk to us.

Josh: [''half-unaware''] Josh was bad.

Roy: Oh man. Oh geez.

Josh: Josh…now…good.

Gerry: Good? Wha...what do you mean?

Josh: Must be...

Josh: good to see my big ass again!

Pat: Gerry, I'm just so tired of being the fat guy.

Gerry: I know, Pat, but you don't want to be those guys. They're jerks, forget them.

Gerry: FORGET YOU!

Pat: [''stands up and yells''] Yeah, YOU CAN KEEP YOUR WASHBOARD STOMACHS, AND YOUR OILY MUSCLES, I DON'T *WANT* THEM!

Julie: Lars, shouldn’t you be watching the kids?

Lars: I have them on the "body" system.

Julie: The "body" system?

Lars: Yeah, the body system.

Lars: BODY!

Boys: [''holding hands''] BUDDY!

Lars: BODY!

Boys: BUDDY!

Lars: BODY!

Boys: BUDDY!

Julie: Oh! Buddy'!

Alice Bushkin: Harvey and I are saddened and dismayed to announce that we are no longer the owners of Camp Hope.

Harvey Bushkin: [''struggling to get his voice''; ''sobs''] Sometimes, in life, things don't work out the way you planned, and in those situations, sometimes you file chapter 9 bankruptcy. We worked our whole life, and what do we have to show? Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!

Alice Bushkin: [''to the crowd''; ''sobbing and gasps can be heard in audience''] Harvey, please stop. Okay, kids, out with the old, and in with the new. Now, your new owner is gonna introduce himself in a minute. But, you know what I would like? Please, could you give us just one more Camp Hope "Hi, hi, hiya"?

Crowd: [''in a somber tone''] Hiya.

Alice Bushkin: God bless all of you.

Harvey Bushkin: One word of advice, NEVER LET ANYONE SIGN YOUR CHECKS!

Nicholas: [''passes gas directly into Gerry's face''] Oh, my. I didn't mean to.

Gerry: Just go!

Tony: [''over the loudspeakers''] Time to wake up, campers! Today is evaluation day. The key word here is value. Do you have any? Not yet! But before summer's over, this camp's gonna be filled with skinny winners!

Roy: Skinny weiners?" You hear that, guys?

Lars: [''tied to a tree, campers come at him with lit torches''] AHHHHHH!

Dawson: Shut up! Hey Lars, guess what? We're in charge now. You know what we found out? We found out that if you don't have a job, you get deported! So Lars, buddy, you with us, or against us?

Lars: I'm with you.

Lars: I love you.

Tony: [''introducing himself to camp audience''] Can you smell it? There's a life force in here tonight. Do you feel it? Hmm? I look around this room, and I see potential.

Tony: I see the future chairman of a Fortune 500 company.

Tony: I see a famous rap artist.

Tony: I see the president of the United States of America.

Gerry: [''comments to himself''] He's from England!

Lars: Now let's play a game to help us learn each other's names.

Josh: [''Making fun of Lars’ accent''] Ve already know each odder's names.

Josh: The candy belongs to Seymour Butts.

Tony: Seymour Butts? Who's Seymour Butts? Who's Seymour Butts, hmm? WHO'S SEYMOUR BUTTS?!!

Josh: Nobody's seen more butts than you, Uncle Tony!

Tony: You picked the wrong man to mess with.

Josh: Oh, I didn't know I was messing with a man!

Roy: Headed to fat camp?

Gerry: No...why do you say that?

Roy: [''points to man seated beside Gerry''] Cause you’re fat. That your dad?

Gerry: No...w-why do you say that?

Roy: Cause he's fat too!

Gerry: Well, so are you.

Roy: I know, that's why I'm going to fat camp. I'm Roy.

Gerry: I'm Gerry. Yeah, I guess I am going.

Roy: I knew it! And that's your dad too, right?

Gerry: Hell no!

Roy: Well you're gonna love camp, man. Camp is awesome. Plus, nobody picks on you because YOU’RE not the fat kid, EVERYBODY'S the fat kid. Just stick with me, Gerry, because I'm the man!

Gerry: It's a fat camp! Are you crazy? No way! I'm not going to camp with a bunch of fat loads!

Mrs. Garner: Gerry!

Roger Johnson: Now that's not kind, Gerry.

Maury Garner: We're doing this for your own good. We gotta nip this thing in the bud.

Gerry: I'm fine. This is a joke, right?

Gerry: [''to his dad''] You're fatter than I am, why don't you go to the camp?

Mrs. Garner: You show your father some respect.

Maury Garner: [''to Roger''] First I think we should have a little pow-wow, and then we will call you with our decision.

Gerry: I'll give you my decision right now. I'm not going.

Roy: Lars? What kind of name is that? Where you from?

Lars: [''steps towards Roy''] ...Far away.

Tony: [''high-fives Josh''] Josh Birnbaum, step on up! Get on the scale, son! All right!

Tony: [''angrily''] Get off the scale.

Tony: Kids: at age twelve, I weighed 319 pounds. I had bad skin, low self esteem, and no self-respect. Now, I eat success for breakfast...with skim milk. Pounds are gonna fly, and fat is..... outta here, mister! And we're gonna do it TOGETHER!

Josh: Oh, my, god.

Kid: I wanna go home!