Herbie Rides Again Quotes

Taglines A little SQUIRT makes a big SPLASH!

Willoughby Whitfield Uncle Alonzo, I've dropped by to talk to you man to man, so I can look you squarely in the eye. No, I'm wearing make-up because of a black eye. A girl hit me in the face with a boiled lobster the moment I mentioned your name. This same wonderful, intelligent, clear-sighted girl was able to convince me what kind of a person you really are. I do not hold with your scheme of cheating Mrs. Steinmetz out of her home so that you may build your concrete anthill on the spot where she has known so much happiness. Hm. I think you are despicable, greedy, grasping, and wholly without principle or pity. I also believe you are not a nice person. I am going back to Missouri now, so that you may no longer use me as a cat's paw! I bid you farewell, more in sorrow than in anger. Please do not send us any more fruit for Christmas.

Loostgarten Loostgarten speaking.

Willoughby Whitford This is Alonzo Hawk.

Loostgarten Right, Mr. Hawk.

Willoughby Whitford Loostgarten, there's been a slight change in plan. I don't want you to knock down the firehouse tonight. Instead I want you to knock down 343 Oleander Heights. You got that, 343 Oleander Heights?

Loostgarten Right.

Willoughby Whitford WRITE IT DOWN! I don't want you to be blackballed in the wrecking ball business. If you know what I mean.

Taglines The Loveable Bug's back doin his thing!

Nicole Harris Well, he's got more stuff than I thought. Yeah, I'm sorry he's going too. All right, I'll see you later. Bye-bye.

Woman on P.A. Flight 38 for Las Vegas...

Willoughby Whitfield I tell you, Mother, you've never seen Uncle Alonzo in such a rage! He's probably having this airport watched right now. But he won't find me. I'm wearing a disguise. A disguise... A beard and a mustache. Yes, I know, Mother. I promised I wouldn't grow a beard when I left. Don't you understand? It isn't real. No, I will not go back and apologize to Uncle Alonzo! He is a greedy, unscrupulous, no-good, thieving, uh, uh, uh, coyote. Yes, thank you, miss. Oh! No, Mother, my asthma is not coming back. No, nothing's the matter with me. Everything is just fine now. This is the turning point of my life. Uncle Alonzo used to push me around and you were always telling me what to do. Then I met this perfectly wonderful girl. I was even afraid of her til now. I've just decided something. I am not going to be a rabbit anymore! Good-bye, Mother.

Grandma Steinmetz Oh Nicole, I want you to meet a gentleman from Mr. Hawk.

Nicole Harris How do you do?

Grandma Steinmetz Oh, Mr. Whitfield! Such a nice young man!

Willoughby Whitford Miss Harris, come on. You're obviously an intelligent young woman. Why do you pretend to talk to this little car like that? Some people might wonder.

Nicole Harris Don't listen to him, Herbie. Just move it.

Secretary I'm sorry, Mr. Hawk. I called the motel, but they said your nephew checked out.

Alonzo Hawk What do you mean he's checked out? When? Where? Who told him he could check out? How dare he disappear when he knows I'm worried sick? I'll tear his chicken-livered gizzard to pieces! I'll stomp him silly! I'll take this letter knife, and I'll stab that kid right in his ungrateful breastbone! You know me, Millicent; normally I'm a kindly, fun-loving fellow! But when I get crossed...I go bananas.

Willoughby Whitfield Please, Miss Harris, I can't believe Uncle Alonzo would do things like that.

Nicole Harris Wait a minute! "Uncle"? He's your uncle?!

Willoughby Whitfield Yes. That's what I've been trying to tell...

Nicole Harris You rotten spy!

Alonzo Hawk Who're these clowns?

Secretary They're your new layers, Mr. Hawk. You fired the others yesterday.

Alonzo Hawk Okay, fellas, now I want to tear down the Steinmetz firehouse. Okay?

Lawyer Just a moment. Mr. Hawk. Do you have the necessary permit?

Alonzo Hawk Of course I don't have a permit! I don't even own the land yet!

Secretary Sorry, Mr. Hawk. Such an action would only jeopardize your entire legal standing of your new building. We can't permit...

Alonzo Hawk Will you get outta here? I didn't hire you to tell me what I can't do, I hired you to tell me how I could do it! GOOOOOO!

Willoughby Whitfield Miss Harris, let's stop kidding ourselves, okay? This is just an ordinary little car. Like a million other ordinary, rather unattractive... Whoa!

Nicole Harris I don't think you should've said that. Herbie's very sensitive about his appearance!

Willoughby Whitfield All right, you've had your laugh. You ought to stop now.

Nicole Harris You won't get Herbie to stop until you say you're sorry.

Willoughby Whitfield Miss Harris, the thing that upsets me most about this whole thing is you trying to maintain the fiction about this... Whoa!

Nicole Harris Please, tell Herbie you're sorry.

Willoughby Whitfield All right, all right. Herbie, I'm sorry.

Nicole Harris Well, now, what d'you think?

Willoughby Whitfield I think you're a very good driver.

Nicole Harris You think it's a trick, don't you?!

Nicole Harris If I do marry Willoughby, I'd like the satisfaction of nailing him myself!

Grandma Steinmetz Of course I have to humor Herbie. He used to be a famous racing car, but his driver went off to Europe to drive foreign cars, so he's a little sensitive. You can understand that.

Loostgarten 343 Oleander Heights, did you say?

Waiter The giant lobster is very good tonight, sir. Uh, of course. No lobster.

Willoughby Whitfield We understand your position, Mrs. Steinmetz. That's why Mr. Hawk has authorized...

Grandma Steinmetz Don't tell me you're from Alonzo Hawk?!

Willoughby Whitfield Yes.

Grandma Steinmetz Oh, and you have such a nice face. Not at all like those ruffians he usually sends around!

Willoughby Whitfield But if you'll just look at the size of this check, Mrs. Steinmetz...

Willoughby Whitfield Yes, ma'am. What's a guru?