30 quotes
Eugene's Dismay Over Demolition Plans
Eugene Horowitz
How can they tear it down!?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unity in Small Numbers
Eugene Horowitz
We may be just a few, but if me and you and you
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Explosives and Peculiar Secrets in Conversation
Ernie Potts
Yeah? Just one little detail, Gramps. Where you gonna get the explosives?
Grandpa Phil
From you, of course. Just go down to your job site and lift a couple hundred pounds of explosives when no one's looking. Huh?
Ernie Potts
That's the craziest thing I ever heard, especially considering I got twice that much under my bed. What? Hey, we all got our little peccadilloes.
[The rest of the boarders look at him incredulously]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Community Struggles Against Corporate Interests
Helga Pataki
Blockapalooza, hah! Please.
[watching from a roof]
Reporter
It's called Blockapalooza, a last-ditch effort to save a forgotten neighborhood from the wrecking ball. A classic story of the little guy pitted against the corporate giant.
[for TV]
Big Bob Pataki
What the heck are they doing? They'll mess up the whole deal!
Nick Vermicelli
Forget about it. It's all taken care of.
Arnold
You know what this is about. It's our last chance to stand up and tell Future Tech Industries that we won't sell. We won't let em tear down our neighborhood.
[on TV]
Nick Vermicelli
One of our guys intercepted their permit, thereby making the whole assemblage illegal.
Officer
Go, go, go!
Gerald Johanssen
Hey, what's going on?
[to the officer]
Riot Cop
Never got any permit.
Voice
Please disperse from this area at once!
Arnold
Grandma?
Grandma Gertie
Bring on your worst. We shall not be moved.
[She chains herself to the door of the Sunset Arms]
Officer
Come on. Nice and easy.
[Grandma almost bites him]
Grandpa Phil
Hey! Stop, that's a frail old lady!
Grandma Gertie
Never give up Arnold. Never give in. Save the neighborhood. One if by land, two if by sea. Put the lime in the coconut. Mix it all up.
[while she and the door she's chained to are carried into the S.P.A.T. car; The car speeds away while she laughs]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Intentions and Perspectives
Helga Geraldine Pataki
So? What's your point?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Loss and Confusion in Relationships
Gerald Johannsen
I wonder what bee got in his boxers.
[about the bus driver]
Murray
Hey, you'd have a bee in your boxers too if you were in my moccasins. My girlfriend left me two weeks ago. Her name is Mona she said she wanted a whole man.
Gerald Johannsen
A whole man"? What's that mean?
Murray
I lost the real one in the war.
[shows them his prosthetic leg]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Guerrilla Tactics and Unlikely Weapons
Arnold
Von Scheck?
Grandpa Phil
I wonder if he's related...? Anyway, Von Scheck's men attacked the neighborhood, but the locals used guerrilla warfare. They made a barricade of turned vegetable carts and fought with whatever they had. They had lots of tomatoes. They were British tomatoes, which were small and hard and really hurt if you got hit with one. That did it. The redcoats were in full, ignominious retreat. That's why we eat American tomatoes, Arnold. Although I had one recently from Chile. Very juicy.
[Telling about the Tomato Incident]
Arnold
Grandpa, did that actually happen?
Arnold
No. Don't you see? This is our answer.
Arnold
No, the Tomato Incident. If that battle took place right in the boarding house, this whole neighborhood should be a national landmark.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Support and Reassurance from Family
Arnold
Grandpa?
Grandpa Phil
That's my name. Don't wear it out. (shark jaws fall down)
Arnold
Grandpa, I'm worried.
Grandpa Phil
Oh, don't worry, Arnold. We won't sell the boarding house. We're behind you all the way. Right, Pookie?
Grandma Gertie
Home team, home team, woo!
[in cheerleader outfit]
Arnold
But what if Scheck gets everyone else to sell?
Grandpa Phil
Then I guess they'll bulldoze down the neighborhood, short man. Pookie and I will have to move to an old folks home and who knows what'll happen to you. You'll probably be sent to a foster home in some Midwestern state like ] or... wait, no, that's not a state, that's a ]. Oh, no, Arnold! You'll be a ]!
[[w:Manitoba|Manitoba; [w:Province|province; [w:Canadian|Canadian]
Arnold
Grandpa, I'm serious.
Grandpa Phil
I know, Arnold, but we're not cooked yet. Whatever happens, we'll all be OK, even if we have to become Canadians. You know, they have very good bacon there. Canadian. Bacon. This thing on? Come on, Arnold. Work with me.
Arnold
Goodnight, Grandpa. Goodnight, Grandma.
Grandma Gertie
Go, team!
[Grandpa sits on the shark jaws]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Helga's Dismissive Attitude Towards Blockapalooza
Helga Geraldine Pataki
Blockapalooza, hah! Please.
[watching from a roof]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debate Over a Deflated Ball
Gerald Johanssen
I'm telling you, Arnold, your ball is flat.
Arnold
It's not flat. It's just a little low on air.
[The ball pops and deflates]
Gerald Johanssen
Like I said, your ball is flat. Hey, I still can't believe we let those fifth graders beat us.
Arnold
Well, the important thing is we tried our best.
Gerald Johanssen
The important thing is we got our buns whooped.
Arnold
Come on Gerald, we had fun. And we almost beat em.
Gerald Johanssen
Why do you do that Arnold? Why do you always have to look on the bright side?
Arnold
Somebody has to. Mr. Green, what's going on?
[Arnold and Gerald notice FTi helicopters, and a crowd of citizens]
Mr. Green
It's Scheck. He wants to buy up the whole neighborhood so he can knock it down and put up a fancy mall.
Arnold
Who's Scheck?
[The crowd is watching TV]
Reporter
The plan, which was approved by the mayor just moments ago, would allow Future Tech Industries to redevelop a six-square-block area between 33rd and 39th Streets. Oh, I understand the president and CEO of Future Tech Industries, Mr. Scheck, is about to make a statement.
[on TV]
Mr. Scheck
Thank you. I just want to say I'm delighted at the mayor's support of our renewal plan.
[on TV; first words as to the mayor]
Gerald Johanssen
Nice suit.
Mayor Dixie
I am behind Mr. Scheck's project one hundred percent.
[on TV; camera flashes]
Mr. Scheck
Although some of you in the affected area may have concerns about how this plan will impact your homes and businesses, let me assure you; change is good. This plan represents the end of urban decay, the end of your broken-down shops and apartment buildings, the end of antiquated and dilapidated storefronts. It's time for a new world. Out with the old, in with the new.
[on TV]
Arnold
What's wrong with old things? Some old things are great.
Harold Berman
Yeah, like Mrs. Vitello.
Mrs. Vitello
Whippersnapper.
[hits Harold over the head with flowers]
Harold Berman
Ow!
Mr. Green
This has been goin on for months. The city council recommended against it, but the mayor's lettin him do it anyway. I never figured he could pull it off.
Gerald Johanssen
What does it mean?
Mr. Green
It means they want us to sell out, move away so this Scheck character and his big corporation can move in.
Crowd
No!
Harold Berman
No way!
Mr. Scheck
It's time to put the past behind us. I have seen the future, and it's Future Tech Industries.
[on TV]
Phoebe Heyerdahl
But this is our ]!
[[neighborhood]
Rhonda Lloyd
They can't just tear it down.
Eugene Horowitz
This is our neighborhood! / How can they tear it down!? / How can they turn our smile into a frown!? / We may be just a few, but if me and you and you.
[singing; Arnold switches off the stereo]
Arnold
Stop! Stop singing, Eugene. This is serious.
[A truck carrying a bulldozer is speeding down the street]
Crowd
Oh, my gosh.
Mr. Green
We can't take this lying down. We should do something!
Harold Berman
Yeah, but what can we do?
Arnold
We can refuse to sell our houses.
Gerald Johanssen
Well, I'll sign a petition!
Arnold
Yeah. Let everybody know this is our neighborhood and we're not giving it up without a fight!
Helga Pataki
Hah! Arnold! What an annoying little goody two-shoes. What a dopey little dreamer. What a corny little cornball. Always going around trying to get everyone to look on the bright side and do the right thing. How I despise him. And yet... I love him! I love him! I love his unerring sense of right and wrong. I love his unfailing insistence on the needs of the many over the needs of the few. But most of all I love the way his hair smells when I get real close behind him and he doesn't know I'm there, but then he turns and looks at me funny and I scowl at him and make an excuse for being so close, and then I insult him just to cover up the secret, adoring feelings for which I have so long and painfully harbored. Oh, Arnold!
[watching from a roof]
Arnold
Mr. Green can write the petition.
Mr. Green
Say no more, Arnold. I'm already working on it.
Helga Pataki
If only I could find the guts to tell you. If only I weren't such a coward. If only I had your strength.
Arnold
We'll take it around the neighborhood and get everybody to sign it.
Helga Pataki
But what if you lose? What if the neighborhood is torn down, and you have to move away, and we are separated, and we never see each other again, and I never, ever seize the chance to tell you how I really feel about you? Oh, Arnold, how I love you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Planning a Final Celebration
Monkeyman
Monkeyman!
[after receiving a leaflet from Arnold]
Jolly Olly Man
Yeah, six days to go, and then sayonara, suckers!
Arnold
Six days. Enough time to try maybe one last big... thing. But... but what?
Rhonda Lloyd
How about a party? You always throw the most outré parties, Arnold.
Arnold
Yeah, a party. A block party. With music and food.
Rhonda Lloyd
And finger sandwiches. Ooh!
Harold Berman
Yeah, and food!
Arnold
We'll have a concert! The music will be so loud that we'd end up on the news. And then people will get excited about it, and the mayor will have to change her mind. And she'll stop the bulldozers.
Friends
Yeah!
Stinky Peterson
What do we call it?
Rhonda Lloyd
How about the "Save the Neighborhood Debutante Ball".
Kids
Nah...
Gerald Johanssen
Block Power, baby.
Stinky Peterson
Blockenanny.
Eugene Horowitz
Block Till You Drop. Ow.
[Falls down]
Gerald Johanssen
It's a Block Thing. I would know.
Sid
A Block Party... Party?
Arnold
How about... Blockapalooza?
Kids
Yeah!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Essential Equipment for Neighborhood Rescue
Bridget
Okay, which one of you touched my button?
[Arnold and Gerald are smiling in a slightly perverse way]
Bridget
Well, if you're gonna try and save the neighborhood, you're gonna need some equipment. Top of the line, state of the art. Mini condenser microphone for the ultimate concealed surveillance. Headphones and micro-radar tracking dish. 400:1 zoom lens binoculars with infrared capability for night vision. High tension, plastic wire, anodized steel pulleys and nylon straps for maneuvering in vertically-challenging situations. A two-way secure walkie-talkie for maintaining communication. And, a synchronized, programmable, glow-in-the-dark watch, set to Greenwich time and accurate within 1/10,000th of a second. And it all fits into this really cool AS-47 Junior Secret Agent utility belt.
[Pushes a button, revealing gadgets]
Arnold
Uh... How much does all this cost?
Bridget
Well, since it's for such a good cause, it's on the house. I figure it's my contribution.
Arnold
Great. We'll take two of them.
Gerald Johanssen
Do the belts come in other colors?
[choosing spy equipment]
Bridget
Black or pink?
Gerald Johanssen
Uh, we'll take black.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Encounter with Football Head
Helga Geraldine Pataki
I was walking, until you knocked me down, football head.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Arnold's Unique Vocal Characterization
Arnold
Deep Voice!
[stepping on to the roof]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Encounter on the Sidewalk
Gerald Johanssen
Helga?
Arnold
What are you doing here?
Helga Pataki
I was walking, until you knocked me down, Football Head.
Arnold
Sorry, Helga. We were just...
Helga Pataki
Yeah, yeah, just out playing your dumb secret agent game. Aren't you a little old for that? Yes!
Gerald Johanssen
Come on, Arnold. We got things to do.
Helga Pataki
Ha. What, some new plan to save the neighborhood?
Arnold and Gerald Johanssen
That's right.
[getting on the bus]
Arnold
Let's roll.
Helga Pataki
Try taking off those lame shades so you can see where you're walking next time. Good luck, Hardy Boys. You're gonna need it. Oh, my brave little football-headed hero on yet another absurd quest, this time to save the only home you've ever known, armed with nothing but your best friend and your sporty utility belt. Godspeed, my steed, my only, my love.
[laughs; Smacks Brainy who was hiding in sewer manhole]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Moment of Uncertainty Among Friends
Arnold
I think he's finally asleep, Gerald. Gerald. Gerald.
[looking at Nick Vermicelli through high-tech binoculars; Notices that Gerald fell asleep; Shakes him]
Gerald Johannsen
Give me that key! I was just resting my eye.
[disoriented after waking up; Realizing where he is]
Arnold
Come on, it's time to go in.
[Pulls out a rope]
Gerald Johannsen
Wait a minute. You're not gonna hang from that, are you?
Arnold
Not unless you want to.
Gerald Johannsen
I don't think it's my size.
Nick Vermicelli
No problem. I'll fix it.
[mumbling while he's asleep]
Gerald Johannsen
Come on. Almost there. You can do it, buddy.
Nick Vermicelli
What is that? Who's going?
[talking in his sleep]
Nick Vermicelli
Ah, it's an angel.
[Falls asleep again]
Gerald Johannsen
Hello?
Deep Voice
Good job getting the key.
[on the phone]
Arnold
Wait. Deep Voice. Where are you?
Deep Voice
Don't worry about that. I'm watching all your movements.
Deep Voice
I'm everywhere and I'm nowhere, but mostly I'm... everywhere.
Gerald Johannsen
Come on, Deep Voice, cut the voodoo dolly mumbo jumbo, okay?
Arnold
Yeah, why do you have to be so mysterious?
Deep Voice
You two seem confused about who's calling the shots here. I am. Without me, you'll never get the document, you'll never save your neighborhood. You've got to get into Scheck's office. His safe deposit boxes are in a room behind his desk.
Arnold
We have to get back into his office?
Deep Voice
Right. Only this time, don't get caught. You've got to find a way to distract security away from the main entrance. Now, it's exactly two A.M. The bulldozers roll at seven. What are you waiting for?
[Hangs up]
Gerald Johannsen
Man, that Deep Voice is a pain in the...
[He's cut by a bus passing by with its brakes hissing]
Arnold
Come on.
[The boys run to the bus]
Gerald Johanssen
Hi, it's us. How you been?
[to the bus driver]
Murray
Oh, so it's the two juvenile delinquents who busted my door.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Eugene's Perspective on Occasion Appropriateness
Eugene Horowitz
But I thought the occasion called for it. We may be just a few
[singing]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Defending Our Homes Against Sale
Arnold
We can refuse to sell our houses.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Eugene's Pride in Their Neighborhood
Eugene Horowitz
This is our neighborhood!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggling with Courage and Vulnerability
Helga Geraldine Pataki
If only I could find the guts to tell you. If only I weren't such a coward. If only I had your strength.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Invisible House Ideas and Their Flaws
Oskar Kokoshka
Maybe we could paint the house with vanishing cream. Then it would be invisible.
Ernie Potts
That is the stupidest idea I ever heard. What if it rains? Ding-dong! You ever think about that, Kokoshka? It'll wash the vanishing cream off, and then everyone'll see us.
Oskar Kokoshka
Oh boy, you're right.
Ernie Potts
What we gotta do is build a dummy neighborhood one block over.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Excitement Builds for Blockapalooza Event
Arnold
Blockapalooza.
Gerald Johanssen
This Saturday is the day.
Arnold
Blockapalooza!
Gerald Johanssen
Don't forget to get your tickets while they're hot!
Nick Vermicelli
Save the neighborhood"? "Blockapalooza"? This we don't need. Yeah it's me Nick. I think we got a problem.
[getting a leaflet; Pulls out a cell phone and calls somebody]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Turning Smiles into Frowns
Eugene Horowitz
How can they turn our smile into a frown!?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perspective on Perception and Reality
Arnold
It's not flat. It's just a little low on air.
[The ball pops and deflates]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Arnold Awakens to Morning Commotion
Crowd
Awesome!
Worker
Release.
Arnold
What's going on?
Stinky Peterson
You must be a sound sleeper, Arnold. They've been hammering on it all mornin'.
Sid
Look!
Stinky Peterson
Willikers!
Sid
It's so wicked awesome.
Arnold
You guys! It's not awesome. It's terrible! Read it. We've got thirty days left to save the neighborhood.
Stinky Peterson
Look, it's that Scheck feller.
Mr. Scheck
It's time for a new world. Out with the old, in with the new. I have seen the future and it's Future Tech Industries.
[on the Scheckvision screen]
Stinky Peterson
He sure gives me the willies.
Gerald Johanssen
But you gotta admit, he looks good in a suit.
Arnold
Gerald.
[annoyed]
Gerald Johanssen
I know, I know. I'm just saying.
Arnold
Come on!
[The boys run away]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Communication Breakdown in Command Structure
Mr. Scheck
Sir. Sir. Yes, sir. Sir." Is that all you can say?
Guard
No, sir. I mean, yes, sir. Sir!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Simple Reflection on Success
Arnold
That went well.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating Big Bob's Beeper Emporium
Helga Pataki
Dad! How's it going, Miriam?
[To Miriam sleeping on a table]
Miriam Pataki
Oh. Molasses, it's you.
[Helga hears voices and comes to see what's going on]
Big Bob Pataki
Okay, great, but where's the store go?
[first words]
Nick Vermicelli
Alright. Right here. Big Bob's Beeper Emporium. Big sign, can't miss it from the freeway, and the overpass drops you big-bang-boom right in the parkin lot.
[first words as Big Bob, Nick Vermicelli, and three other guys are seen gathered around a model of the neighborhood on a table]
Big Bob Pataki
That's good. Yeah, right in the stinkin lot.
Helga Pataki
Dad?
Big Bob Pataki
What do you want, Olga?
Helga Pataki
It's Helga, Dad.
Big Bob Pataki
Right, Helga. That's what I said.
Helga Pataki
Could I talk to you?
Nick Vermicelli
We gotta split anyway, Bob. We'll talk.
Big Bob Pataki
Right, we'll talk. And send me the paperwork, I can't wait to get started. Hey, can I keep this pop-up thing?
[He points at the model]
Nick Vermicelli
You got it.
[Nick and the other men leave the room]
Big Bob Pataki
Alright. You know what this is? It's our future. See, here's where my new Super Beeper Emporium is gonna go up, right after we rip down the flower shop, and Green Meats and the rest of the block.
[to Helga]
Helga Pataki
Uh yeah, well, uh, about all that, Dad... I mean a lot of people are gonna have to move away and sell their businesses.
Big Bob Pataki
Yeah, what's your point?
Helga Pataki
Well, I was just wondering if this whole tear-down-the-neighborhood Future Tech thing is really necessary.
Big Bob Pataki
Of course, it's necessary. It's more than necessary. It's progress. You can't have progress without a little pain. No pain, no gain.
Helga Pataki
But what's wrong with leaving things the way they are?
Big Bob Pataki
I'll tell you what's wrong with it, missy. Leave things the way they are and Big Bob's Super Beeper Emporium doesn't happen.
Helga Pataki
But, Dad...
Big Bob Pataki
Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey! I'll say this once, and I want you to hear it, little lady. Change is good. When the new Big Bob's Super Beeper Emporium goes up, the cash is gonna roll in and you'll forget all about the old neighborhood. And do you know why? Because we'll be rich. And that means you'll be rich. You can have that pony you've been wantin'.
Helga Pataki
Dad, I wanted a pony when I was five.
Big Bob Pataki
Uh. Well, what do you want now?
Helga Pataki
I don't know.
Big Bob Pataki
Well, make up your mind, cause once this neighborhood goes down and my store goes up, you can have anything you want. And I mean anything.
Helga Pataki
Anything?
[looks at fashion magazine]
Big Bob Pataki
That's what I said. We're gonna be stinkin rich, girl. Rich. What's more important than that, huh?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Grandma's Repeat Escapes from Jail
Arnold
Grandma?
[returns home]
Ernie Potts
She's still in jail.
[carrying his things downstairs]
Arnold
But I thought they were just gonna keep her for one night.
Ernie Potts
She keeps trying to escape. Thinks it's a game. Fourth time they had to put her back.
Arnold
Hi, Mr. Hyunh. Have you seen Grandpa?
Mr. Hyunh
Oh, Arnold. We may never see each other again.
[Runs away sobbing]
Oskar Kokoshka
Hey, Mr. Hyunh, can I help you clean out your refrigerator?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Bus Safety Conversation Among Friends
Arnold
You're going up to the peninsula?
[to the bus driver]
Murray
Don't talk to the driver while the bus is in motion.
Gerald Johanssen
But the bus isn't in motion.
Murray
Now it is. Get behind the yellow line.
[starts the bus]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.