Childhood Adventures and Misadventures Unfold
Russell Russ Thompson, Jr.: [looks up]
Hey, Ron, this is a lot better than those nature hikes dad drags... AAH!
Amy:
Nick, don't you ever pick up your toys?
Ronald Ron Thompson:
What a wimp!
Nick:
I've been looking for that guy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Dangers in the Backyard
Ronald Ron Thompson:
EARTHQUAKE!
Nick:
No worse, LAWNMOWER!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Awkward Conversation About Dancing
Russell Russ Thompson, Jr.:
So, you like to dance?
Amy:
Yeah... You could see me?
Russell Russ Thompson, Jr.:
Well, no... Well yeah, yeah I could see you... But I wasn't watching you. I...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Consequences of Actions and Family Dynamics
Ronald Ron Thompson:
Your dad will go to jail, your mother too. After all she paid for, that makes her accomplice. Do you even know what it's like in jail?
Amy:
I'm not even going to tell you one more time to shut up.
Ronald Ron Thompson:
And then what? You'll smack me? You'll go to jail. I'll tell them after a big bee ate my brother you smacked me around. No jury in the world would fail to convict you. The whole Szalinski family is going to be in jail for life...
Amy:
Look, my dad's invention works and so when we get home and he fixes us, we're gonna be so rich. You're gonna regret this.
Ronald Ron Thompson:
Um... Amy, you know I've always liked your family. Your dad's a real nice guy. He's not as weird as I thought he was. I love you and Nick like... Like my own brother and sister.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Consequences of a New Invention
Mae Thompson:
Why didn't you tell us about this earlier?
Diane:
Well, up until now, the machine just... blew things up.
Mae Thompson:
Are you saying that that machine...?
Russell Russ Thompson, Sr.:
Blew up my kids?
Wayne & Diane:
No, no!
Wayne:
No, if the machine had blown up the kids, there'd be pieces of them everywhere...
Diane:
Wayne!
Wayne:
Sorry, but I'm positive about this. The machine shrunk our kids.
Russell Russ Thompson, Sr.:
You're the one who needs a "shrink", Szalinski! You are a nutcase. And I'll tell you something: I have got an air hammer in my attic, and if you did do something to my kids, there's gonna be pieces of you all over the neighborhood! Come on, Mae!
Wayne:
I think that went well.
Diane:
I think we should have them over more often.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggles of Size and Allergies
Amy:
Nick, get out of there. You're allergic to pollen.
Nick:
It's too big. I'm too little to breathe it in.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Lost in a New Reality
Amy:
I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto.
Nick:
I don't think we're in the food chain anymore, Dorothy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Searching for Dad in a Crisis
Amy:
Nick, what did you do?
Nick:
Me? It was his ball!
Ronald Ron Thompson:
Shut up, wimp!
Nick:
We have to find Dad. He'll know what to do.
Amy:
Nick, if that's Paul Tate, I'm going to kill you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Diet and Misunderstandings in Baseball Context
Nick:
I'm on a special diet. No toxic waste.
Russell Russ Thompson, Sr.:
The coach put me on these babies. You know what happened? I put on twenty pounds of pure unadulterated blitz-the-quarterback-and-rip-his-head-off muscle, Russell!
Wayne:
Wait a second, Nick doesn't play baseball.
Nick: [laughs]
Hey, wait! I get it...French Class!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
