How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) - Quotes

Grinch: [catapults the red "Hazardous Waste" bag at the picture of Augustus; singing; He goes down the elevator; referring to Cindy Lou; He walks behind the wardrobe, humming a tune; He creeps out from behind the wardrobe, refers to Cindy Lou again; He sees the tiny red heart beating on his X-ray; breaks the fourth wall; to the audience watching; He frowns and walks out of frame; to Max, shaking hands quickly; He throws his hand towards Max's direction; Max barks and runs in that direction, while the Grinch chortles to himself; He takes a running leap onto his bed; He turns his phone on] Oooh! Sweet. ♪ Be it ever so...heinous, there's no place like home. ♪ 1st floor, factory rejects. Those Whos are hard to frazzle, Max. But we did our worst, and that's all that matters. At least I scared the bejeebles outta that little girl in the post office. She'll be scarred for life if you're lucky. Aaah! DAAAAA-AAA-AAAAAAAAAAH!!! Funny she didn't rat on us though. Must be afraid of reprisals. Yes! Down a size and ½ And this time, I'll keep it off. Get the stick, Max! Get the stick! There's no stick. I'm smarter. Any calls?

Cindy Lou Who: [singing] ♪ Where are you, Christmas, why can't I find you? Why have you gone away? My world is changing, I'm rearranging. Does that mean Christmas changes, too? ♪♪ Where are you, Christmas? Do you remember the girl you used to know? You and I we're so carefree, now, nothing's easy. Did Christmas change or just me? ♪

Grinch: [as Max sneezes] Gesundheit. (Oh, no.)

Cindy: Aaah!

Grinch: Aaah!

Cindy: Aaaah!

Grinch: Aaaaaaah!

Cindy: You're the, the, the, the--

Grinch: [imitating Cindy; normal voice; loudly] The, the, the, the--" THE GRINCH!

Cindy: [falls down a mail shaft and gets stuck] Aaah! Help!

Grinch: Well...

Cindy: Help!

Grinch: ...that worked out nicely.

Cindy: [big stamp stamps fragile on present; muffled] Help! Help me! Somebody!

Grinch: [to Max] Max, let's go. Our work here is finished. Sheesh!

Cindy: Help me! Please! Help!

Grinch: [sees Max biting his own cloak] That is not a chew toy! Stop it, Max! Get that out of your mouth! You have no idea where it's been!

Cindy: Help!

Grinch: [scowls; annoyed] Ohhh... Bleeding hearts of the world, UNITE!

Cindy: Help! Help!

Grinch: [saves Cindy; grumbles; angrily takes back his goofy mask] There! There. Give me that! DON'T YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TAKE THINGS THAT DON'T BELONG TO YOU? WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU, YOU SOME KIND OF WILD ANIMAL? HUH?!

Cindy: [shaking her head] Uh-uh.

Grinch: [to Max; heads to the exit] Let's go.

Cindy: Thanks for saving me.

Grinch: [screeches to a stop, fingers scrape against glass, turns around angrily] Saving you? Is that what you think I was doing?

Cindy: [nods] Uh-huh.

Grinch: [wags finger; grabs wrapping paper; begins wrapping Cindy Lou wildly in wrapping paper; stops wrapping, to Max; resumes wrapping Cindy Lou in wrapping paper, stops again] Wrong-o. I merely noticed that you were improperly packaged, my dear! DRAT! Hold still! Max, pick out a bow! Can I use your finger for a second?

Cindy: Hello? Hello!

Grinch: [puts on his mask] Ow.

Lou: [enters back room] Cindy?

Cindy: [Lou sees her covered in gift wrapping that the Grinch wrapped her up with earlier] Dad. Daddy! Daddy!

Lou: What the hey? Honey? Cindy?

Cindy: [removes gift wrapping] Dad, it was amazing!

Lou: You've been practicing your Christmas wrapping. Honey, I'm so proud of you.

Cindy: Uh, oh. Well--

Lou: Now that's holiday!

Narrator: Sweet little Cindy didn't know what to do. In her head bum-tumbled a conflict or two; "If the Grinch was so bad, then why did he save me? Maybe he wasn't so bad.

Lou: Come on, let's go home.

Narrator: Maybe. Just maybe.

Cindy Lou Who: But, Dad, I just don't understand something. Why won't anyone talk about the Grinch?

Lou Lou Who: [puts stuff inside] You kids and the Grinch. You see, Cindy, the Grinch is a Who who...well, is actually not a Who. He's-- He's more of a--

Cindy: A what?

Lou: Exactly, honey. And he's a What who... doesn't like Christmas. Take a look at his mailbox, sweetie. Not a single Christmas card in or out...ever.

Cindy: But why?

Lou: Well—

Post Office Person 1: Lou, where's my mail?

Post Office Person 2: Lou, I got the wrong mail here!

Post Office Person 3: Lou, I got the wrong mail!

Lou: Uh, I'll be right there. Whoop!

Post Office Person 4: We got a problem!

Lou: Alright. Uh, we'll straighten this out.

Grinch: [at the back room of the post office with Max by the sorting machine; laughing with glee; laughs schemingly; turns around by the sorting machine, then starts throwing everyone's mail in the wrong boxes; throws more mail into the wrong boxes as he emits a light giggle of amusement] It'll take them years to sort this out. This is his and now it's yours, and this is hers and now it's his! And for the rest of you... ...Jury duty, Jury duty, Jury duty, blackmail, pink slip, chain letter, eviction notice, Jury duty! Gee-e-e-e-e-eee!

Lou: Would you mind helping me? Take this to the back room, honey. But, be careful of the sorting machine, right?

Cindy: Yeah.

Drew Lou Who: DAD! DAD!

Lou Lou Who: What happened to you?

Stu Lou Who: It was THE GRINCH!

Female People: Grinch?!

Grinch: [mocks female voice] What do you want? I mean— Grinch? Oh, no!

Augustus May Who: Did someone just say "Grinch"?

The Grinch: [after Max scared off some teen Whos; angrily picks up an onion; hungrily eats the onion; Max whimpers; Max runs back inside; rubs his pits with the onion; angrily throws away the onion; turns to the camera; shows off a sinister-looking smile; the scene fades to Whoville with a view of Max and the Grinch's feet] Well done, Max! Serves them right, those yuletide-loving, sickly-sweet, nog-sucking cheer mongers! I really don't like em. Mm-mm. No, I don't. MAX! Get my cloak! I've been much too tolerant of these Who-venile delinquents, and their innocent, victim-less pranks. So they wanna get to know me, do they? They want to spend a little quality time with the Grinch. I guess I could use a little... social interaction.

Whoville Bike Men: Merry Christmas!

Grinch: [The bikers fall down, blocking traffic.] Oh, yeah. You bet, and ho, ho, ho, and... stuff. Oh, my. Someone has vandalized that vehicle. You see, Max? The city is a dangerous place.

Narrator: The Grinch hated Christmas. The whole Christmas season.

Who Officer: Top of the day.

Grinch: Flatfoot.

Narrator: Now please, don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

Grinch: [gives two Who girls a bandsaw] Hey kids. Here's a present for ya. Be sure to run real fast with it now. All right, come on. Double time. Let's go! Move, move, move, move, move!

Narrator: It could be that his head wasn't screwed on just right. Or it could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. But I think that the most likely reason of all...

Who: Merry Christmas!

Grinch: Is it?

Narrator: ...may have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

Crazy Mose: [The Grinch lifts his mask, deeply belches, blows odor on him, making him fall. The Grinch pulls his mask back on and laughs sneakily.] Hey, stranger! Won't let you go until you buy a chapeau!

Cindy Lou Who: ['''Narrator:''' But you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick… [Grinch coughs; '''Grinch:''' [imitating Santa; '''Narrator:''' The fake Santa Claus lied.; '''Grinch''': There's a light on this tree that won't... light on one side, so I'm taking it home to my w-wo-orkshop, my dear. [laughs and Cindy giggles; '''Grinch''': [pops out through the tree, startling Cindy; '''Narrator:''' And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head, and he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.; '''Grinch:''' [sharply; '''Grinch:''' "Sweet"!? You think he's sweet?] Santa Claus, what are you doing with our tree? ...He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick.] Why-hy-hyy, my sweet little tot!] I'll fix it up there… and I'll bring it... back here.] Santa, what's Christmas really about? Vengeance! Er, I mean… presents... I suppose.] I was afraid of that. Santa? What?!] Don't forget the Grinch. I know he's mean, and hairy and scary... His hands might be cold and clammy. But I think he's actually... sweet. Merry Christmas, Santa.

Cindy Lou Who: ['''Narrator:''' Cindy Lou had some questions in her curious heart. Why'' did ''the Grinch hate Christmas? Where did it all start? With her dad's blabbacorder, she wouldn't give an inch.] In your own words, please tell me everything you know about the Grinch.

Cindy Lou Who: ['''Grinch:''' [imitating Cindy Lou Who; normal voice; loudly; falls down a mail shaft and gets stuck; '''Grinch:''' Well...; '''Grinch:''' That worked out nicely.] You're the, the, the, the– "The, the, the, the–" THE GRINCH!] Aah! Help! Help!

Grinch: [after he crashes a mini car in the fire hydrant; gasps] IT'S GONNA BLOW!!!

Grinch: Give me that!

Grinch: [Max sneezes] Phew. Gesundheit. Ooh.

Grinch: [gets a jackhammer while vocalizing] Play, monkey! Play! Play, play, play!

Grinch: That worked out nicely.

The Narrator: [last lines] So he brought back the toys and the food for the feast.And he, he himself the Grinch, carved the roast beast.

The Narrator: ['''Grinch:''' Oh, the wailing and the gnashing of teeth. The bellowing of the bitterly bummed out! It'll be like music to my ears! [strains harder, and stops to hear faint singing; '''Grinch:''' Huh? Whuh?; '''Grinch:''' Somehow or other, it'' came ''just the'' same!''; '''Cindy Lou Who:''' Mr. Grinch?; '''Grinch:''' How could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags!; '''Grinch:''' Maybe...Christmas...; '''Grinch:''' ...doesn't... come from a store. Maybe Christmas...perhaps... ''[warmly; gets a sudden thump in his chest; wheezes, and sees his small heart growing] Then the Grinch heard a sound rising over the snow. It started in low. Then it started to grow. But the sound wasn't sad. Why this sounded merry. But it was merry. Very. Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small... were singing without any presents at all. He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming. It came. And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling. And he puzzled and puzzled, till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something... he hadn't before. He thought... ...means a little bit more. Max! Help me! I'm... feeling! ] And what happened then? Well, in Whoville they saythat the Grinch's small heart...grew 3 sizes...that day.

The Narrator: 3,000 feet up.Up the side of Mt. Crumpit.He rode with his load to the tip-top to dump it.

The Narrator: ['''Grinch:''' Nice kid. Bad judge of character.; the Grinch stuffed the tree up the Chimney, grabs the Christmas lights, and goes up the chimney] And when Cindy Lou went up with her cup... ...He went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up. And the last thing he took was the log for their fire. On their walls, he left nothing but some hooks and some wire. And the one speck of food that he'd left in the house, was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse. Then he slithered and slunk with a smile most unpleasant, around each Who home, and he took every present.

The Narrator: ['''Grinch:''' [hugs the fridge into place.; opens up the fridge; The Grinch throws a plate of Who pudding away; '''Grinch:''' [imitating football player; tosses the Roast Beast in a football hike position, and messes everything up the fridge; The Grinch opens up the cupboard to reveal the last can of Who Hash inside in it just as Cindy opens the door.; '''Grinch:''' And now...; '''Grinch:''' [grabs the tree; walks to the fireplace with the Christmas tree; '''Cindy Lou Who:''' Excuse me.; the Grinch stops, and hides behind the tree; '''Cindy Lou Who:''' Santa Claus? What are you doing with our tree?; Grinch coughs; '''Grinch:''' [imitating Santa; '''Grinch:''' There's a light on this tree... that won't ''light'' on one side. So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear. [laughs, and Cindy giggles; '''Cindy Lou Who:''' Santa, what's Christmas really about?; '''Grinch:''' Vengeance! Er, I mean... presents... I suppose.; '''Cindy Lou Who:''' I was afraid of that.] Then he slunk to the icebox. Slunk. ] He eyed the Whos feast. He took the Who pudding! He took... the Roast Beast! HIKE!!!!!!!!!! ] He cleaned out the icebox as quick as a flash. Why, that Grinch… he even took their last can of Who Hash. Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee. Grinned The Grinch. ...I'll stuff up the tree! And the Grinch grabbed the tree as he started to shove... when he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove. The Grinch had been caught by this tiny Who daughter who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water. But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick... ...He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick. Why, my sweet little tot.] The fake Santa Claus lied. I'll fix it up there, and I'll bring it back here.] And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head, and he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.

The Narrator: ['''Grinch:''' [arrives on the roof with Max; the Grinch prepares to go down the chimney with rope on his feet; '''Grinch:''' [imitating sports announcer; jumps high in the air as bungee jumping while vocalizing; leans closer to the chimney; lands in the chimney upside down, and gets stuck since he gained a couple of pounds from the Whobilation; '''Grinch:''' Blasted water weight. Goes right to my hips. [struggles his arms to free himself as he slides down and lands and hits his head by the fireplace; looks at the view of the living room; '''Grinch:''' [to the narrator; breaking the 4th wall again; whispering; '''Grinch:''' These stockings...; normal voice; '''Grinch:''' ...Are the first thing(s) to go. [picks out a jar of moths; frees the moths, sticks his head back up just as the moths eat the stockings] C'mon, Max. It's our first stop!] The old Grinchy Claus hissed, and he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist. He'd slide down the chimney, a rather tight pinch. But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch. He's planning a double-twisting interrupted by forward-flying 2 1/2 with a combo tuck and pike… High degree of difficulty. Whoo! LAA-LAAA-LAAAAAAAA!!! ] He got stuck only once... for a moment or 2. Ow! Gee! ] Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue... Shh. A little more stealth, please.] {{small|...Where the little Who stockings are all hung in a row.}} He grinned. Okay, fellas. Chow time. ]

The Narrator: ['''''Grinch:''''' ''Welcome to Whoville, Max!] All their windows were dark, quiet snow filled the air. All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care when he came to the first little house on the square.

The Narrator: ['''Santa Claus:''' Ho-ho-ho!; '''Grinch:''''' Fat boy ''should be finishing up anytime now. Talk about a recluse. He only comes out once a'' year, ''and'' he ''never catches any'' flak ''for it! Probably lives up there to avoid the taxes.; '''Santa Claus:''' [flying with his reindeer, with Rudolph leading; '''Grinch:''' Oopsie. Forgot about the reindeer.; '''Grinch:''' If I can't find a reindeer, I'll '''make''' one instead. [He reaches for Max, who whimpers and runs away.] Merry Christmas!] Did that stop the old Grinch? No. The Grinch simply said: Oh, Ma-a-a-a-a-AXXXX!] So, he called his dog Max. Then he took some red thread… and tied a big horn... on top of his head.

The Narrator: ['''Grinch:''' [pulls Max out of snow, not noticing the snow beard; stops; notices the snow beard on Max; '''Grinch:''' I know...'' just ''what to do. [cut to red fabric being cut by the Grinch; '''Grinch:''' Ha.; crunch; Grinch shouts in shock, and sees his fingers sewn on the red fabric and faints.; '''Grinch:''' With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick! Ho, ho, ho!] If you're not going to help me, then you might as well… ] Then he got an idea; An awful idea. The Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea. ] The Grinch laughed in his throat… And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat. And he chuckled and clucked at this great Grinchy trick.

The Narrator: ['''Clock Operator:''' Only 4 hours till Christmas!; '''Grinch:''' And then, oh, the noise! Oh, the noise, noise, noise, '''noise!''' They'll bang on tong-tinglers They'll blow their Floo-flounders. They'll crash on Jang-jinglers and bounce on Boing-bounders!; '''Grinch:''' And they'll feast, feast, feast, feast! They'll eat their Who-''pudding ''and rare Who roast'' beast, ''which is something I just cannot'' stand ''in the least. Oh, no. <big> '''I'M SPEAKING IN RHY-YME! AAAHHHH!''' </big> [cries; sobs; '''Grinch:''' I must stop this whole thing. Why for'' year ''after'' year, ''I've put up with it now. I must stop this Christmas from coming! But how? I mean, in what way?] Yes, the Grinch knew tomorrow all the Who girls and boys would wake bright and early and rush for their toys. Then Whos young and old would sit down to a feast. and they'll feast, and they'll feast. BLAST YOU, WHOS! ] And the more the Grinch thought of what Christmas would bring, the more the Grinch thought--

The Narrator: The whipperwinds whipped high above the Who town.A trip or a slip, you'd slide all the way down, but this girl had a mission.She knew what to do. She'd invite the Grinch herself, that brave Cindy Lou.

The Narrator: ['''Grinch:''' ...Alphabetically. [points to name; sees a name (maybe Mayor Augustus May Who) in the phonebook; venomously; hears music playing in Whoville; '''Grinch:''' Tomorrow is Christmas. It's practically here. MAX! Fetch me my sedative! Now to take care of those pesky memories.] So whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes, he stood outside his cave, hating the Whos. Aardvarkian Abakenezer Who, I... HATE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!! Aaron B. Benson Who, I hate you. Hate, hate, hate. Hate, hate, hate. Double hate. LOATHE ENTIRELY! Nutcrackers? It's their Whobilation!] He snarled with a sneer.

The Narrator: ['''Cindy Lou Who:''' In your own words, please tell me everything you know about the Grinch.] Cindy Lou had some questions in her curious heart. Why did the Grinch hate Christmas? Where did it all start? With her dad's blabbacorder, she wouldn't give an inch.

The Narrator: Sweet little Cindy didn't know what to do.In her head, bum-tumbled a conflict or 2 - "If the Grinch was so bad, then why did he save me? Maybe he wasn't so bad. Maybe. Just maybe".

The Narrator: The Grinch hated Christmas. The whole Christmas season.Now, please, don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.It could be that his head wasn't screwed on just right.Or it could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.But I think that the most likely reason of all… may have been that his heart was 2 sizes too small.

The Narrator: Yes, every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot… but the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville… did not.

The Narrator: [first words of the movie] Inside a snowflake, like the one on your sleeve, there happened a story you must see to believe.Way up in the mountains, in the high range of Pontoos, lay the small town of Whoville: The Home of the Whos.Ask any Who, and they'll have this to say, "There is no place like Whoville around Christmas Day."Every window was flocked, every lamppost was dressed, and the Whoville band marched in their Christmassy best.Arbor Day was fine, and Easter was pleasant, and every St. Fizzin's day, they ate a Fizz pheasant, but every Who knew, from their 12 toes to their snout, they loved Christmas the most, without a single Who-doubt.