Idle Hands (1999) - Quotes

Taglines: Get your hands on this hot new horror comedy!

Taglines: The Devil will find work for idle hands to do... but what happens when he chooses the laziest teen slacker in the world to do his dirty work?

Taglines: The comedy that gives horror films the backhand.

Taglines: The touching story of a boy and his right hand.

Taglines: The film that give horror movies the finger.

Mick: Hey, you were right. Anton does scream like a girl!

Pnub: You think we should tell him that we put that writing on the ceiling?

Mick: Fuck it!

Pnub: Hey, let's go walk through a nurse!

Mick: Okay, watch it. Some of them are guys.

The Hand: Anton, I'll be back...We all go a little crazy sometimes. Just don't look under the bed...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Anton: [The hand is in a puppet disguise. He sneaks behind Anton's shoulder] Fucking little hand I got you now.

The Hand: [Anton and the hand fight; Anton punches the Hand who is still in the puppet outfit, then pins him to the floor.; Anton grabs him as he is about to deliver a striking blow] I'm your little daddy now...BITCH!!! You should learn NOT to cut off the hand that feeds you Anton!!! AND NOW ANTON..YOU DIE!!!! EAT THIS BITCH!!!

Anton: Who's you daddy now Bitch?

The Hand: I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP!!!

Dexter Holland: [kicking Anton off the stage at the Concert] Get out of here kid. You had your fun, now it's time...

The Hand: [As the crowd screams, the Hand continues] TIME TO DIE BITCH!!!!!! You're all my bitches now!!

Anton: [after cutting his hand off] Where did it go?

Pnub: What, you mean the hand?

Anton: Of course I mean the hand!

Pnub: Try looking up your ass.

Anton: Hey, I didn't kill anyone on purpose, okay?

Mick: Yeah, well, we weren't in hell! I mean, there was this bright white light at the end of a long tunnel, right, and there was these chicks voices, and that music...

Anton: Music?

Pnub: Yeah, kinda uncool music, like, Enya. And these chicks voices, they were saying, "come to us, come towards the light".

Anton: So what happened?

Mick: We figured, fuck it, I mean, it was really far!

Anton: [hears moaning coming from Mick's grave] Mick?

Mick: Over here. Anton, help me. Come on, man, I can't breathe down here. Anton? Anton, can you hear me?

Anton: [kneels and leans over Mick's grave] Mick?

Mick: Yeah man, it's Mick.

Anton: You're dead!

Mick: No I'm not! You conked me on the head pretty good. I must've been unconcious.

Anton: You think?

Mick: I know fucker, now dig me up!

Dad Tobias: [after seeing the message on the ceiling; clicks off flashlight] It's just a prank. Anton.

Mom Tobias: Anton? Our little scooter would never do something like that!

Dad Tobias: Quit calling him that baby name. Anton would not scoot his behind off the couch if the house was on fire!

The Hand: [Molly stands on top of the diving board, The hand grabs her foot; As she hangs off the side of the dive board, a portal opens up] Come out, come out, wherever you are. GOTCHA! Come to Daddy...bitch! NOW, YOU WILL BE MY NIGHTMARE HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! PREPARE TO DIE

The Hand: [In the Alternate Ending as he traps Molly in the swimming pool] Now little piggie, where the fuck are you??

The Hand: [Before his death, The hand prepares to attack Anton one last time; Debi throws the dagger towards the hand striking it dead.; The Hand dies] DIE YOU FUCKER!!! SHIT!!!!

The Hand: [his eyes roll in the back of his head; The Hand falls out of the puppet outfit and to the ground] I'm gonna kill you real slow Anton.... Oh Shit!

The Hand: [As he's about to kill Tanya] WELCOME TO MY WORLD...BITCH!!!!

The Hand: You forgot where ya came from kid..but I know where you're going.

The Hand: I'm in the mood for some SERIOUS Killing.

Anton Tobias: [hand twitches; picks flowers from garden and throws them over the 'graves'] Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today because you're all dead... and it's all my fault. Mom, Dad, you fed me, kept a roof over my head until I killed you. Which I guess doesn't make me a very good son. But, I'm gonna try to change. Mick, Pnub I'll never forget all those times we sat around, watched TV and got really, really stoned. And all those other times we just... well I guess that's all we did. Amen.