5 quotes
Conversation About the Plumbing Business
Drexel
How's the plumbing business?
Eddie Harrington
Alright.
Albert Mansfield
We manage to keep our head above water.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Misunderstanding Over a Bath Request
Pipps
Gentlemen your bath is drawn.
Albert Mansfield
Erase it.
Pipps
What?
Albert Mansfield
Rub it out.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Moments of Undressing
Pipps
Well sir if I may start undressing you now?
Albert Mansfield
You're gonna undress me?
Pipps
Yes sir.
Albert Mansfield
The last person that ever undressed me was my mother and that was a year ago.
Pipps
A year ago?
Albert Mansfield
You gotta start to learn to undress yourself sometime or other by yourself. Don't you?
Pipps
Right.
Albert Mansfield
Quite
Pipps
Right.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Truth Behind the Disappearance
Albert Mansfield
Lady, he ain't dead, he's hiding!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Consequences of Betrayal Among Friends
Drexel
You know I never told you fellas this but I'm quite a fortune teller. I can see into the future. I see two plumbers they're doing pretty good.
[Grabs a big glass paper weight then looks into it]
Albert Mansfield
More competition.
Drexel
But they're double-crossing a friend of theirs who gave them their start.
Albert Mansfield
That's what I call being ungrateful. I have no use for those kind of people.
Drexel
This friend of theirs is getting mad. Now he wants them to cooperate with him or pay back the money he gave them. He's giving them till six o'clock tonight to get it.
Eddie Harrington
But suppose they can't get it by six o'clock tonight?
Drexel
Then I see two plumbers floating down the river and one of them's a little fat guy.
[Hands the paper weight to Albert and leaves]
Eddie Harrington
What's the matter?
Albert Mansfield
The joke is on him.
Eddie Harrington
Why?
Albert Mansfield
I can't swim.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.