The Consequences of Betrayal Among Friends
Drexel: [Grabs a big glass paper weight then looks into it]
You know I never told you fellas this but I'm quite a fortune teller. I can see into the future. I see two plumbers they're doing pretty good.
Albert Mansfield:
More competition.
Drexel:
But they're double-crossing a friend of theirs who gave them their start.
Albert Mansfield:
That's what I call being ungrateful. I have no use for those kind of people.
Drexel:
This friend of theirs is getting mad. Now he wants them to cooperate with him or pay back the money he gave them. He's giving them till six o'clock tonight to get it.
Eddie Harrington:
But suppose they can't get it by six o'clock tonight?
Drexel: [Hands the paper weight to Albert and leaves]
Then I see two plumbers floating down the river and one of them's a little fat guy.
Eddie Harrington:
What's the matter?
Albert Mansfield:
The joke is on him.
Eddie Harrington:
Why?
Albert Mansfield:
I can't swim.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Moments of Undressing
Pipps:
Well sir if I may start undressing you now?
Albert Mansfield:
You're gonna undress me?
Pipps:
Yes sir.
Albert Mansfield:
The last person that ever undressed me was my mother and that was a year ago.
Pipps:
A year ago?
Albert Mansfield:
You gotta start to learn to undress yourself sometime or other by yourself. Don't you?
Pipps:
Right.
Albert Mansfield:
Quite
Pipps:
Right.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Misunderstanding Over a Bath Request
Pipps:
Gentlemen your bath is drawn.
Albert Mansfield:
Erase it.
Pipps:
What?
Albert Mansfield:
Rub it out.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conversation About the Plumbing Business
Drexel:
How's the plumbing business?
Eddie Harrington:
Alright.
Albert Mansfield:
We manage to keep our head above water.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Truth Behind the Disappearance
Albert Mansfield:
Lady, he ain't dead, he's hiding!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
