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In the Loop poster
In the Loop - Trailer No. 1

In the Loop Quotes

"The fate of the world is on the line."

NR 2009 · 1h 46m
70
Audience
Apple TV Store Available on Apple TV Store
70
Audience
32 quotes
In the Loop
Kid Gloves Made from Real Kids
Jamie MacDonald Y'know me, Malc. Kid gloves, but made from real kids.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Humorous Critique of Meeting Etiquette
Simon Foster I don't want to have to read you the Riot Act here. But I am going to have to read you some extracts from the Riot Act. Like "Section 1, Paragraph 1: Don't leave your boss twisting in the wind, then burst in late, smelling like a pissed seaside donkey." "The British are coming!
[impersonating Toby]
Toby Wright Okay, okay, Simon, I was late for the meeting. I am sorry. But it's not like I threw up in there, is it?
Simon Foster No, you're right. I'm being unfair. I should be thanking you for not throwing up. Well done. You're a star. And you didn't wet yourself, did you? You're in the right city. You didn't say anything overtly racist. You didn't pull your dick out, start plucking it and shouting, "Willy Banjo!" No, I'm being really unfair. You got so much right...without actually being there for the beginning of one of the most important moments in my career. Thanks. You're a legend.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Confronting Conflict with Harsh Critique
Malcolm Tucker Climb the mountain of conflict"? You know what you sounded like? You sounded like a fucking Nazi ]!
[[Julie Andrews]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Media Forces of Darkness and Consequences
Malcolm Tucker I will marshal all the media forces of darkness to hound you to an assisted suicide.
[to Simon Foster]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Malcolm's Creation of a Psychopath
Judy Molloy You know, my theory is that Malcolm built him in a lab out of bits of old psychopaths.
[about Jamie MacDonald]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
A Lesson in Direct Communication
Malcolm Tucker Hey, foetus boy, lesson one: If I tell you to fuck off, what do you do?
[to Toby]
Toby Wright Umm... Eff off?
Malcolm Tucker You'll go far! Now fuck off.
Toby Wright Right.
[leaves the room]
Simon Foster Judy and I were thinking that I could row back on Question Time tonight—
Malcolm Tucker You're not going on Question Time, you've been disinvited.
Simon Foster We've been prepping Question Time!
Judy Molloy Why wasn't I told about this?
Malcolm Tucker Why the fuck would I tell you it?! I've told you to fuck off twice, and yet you're still here!
Judy Molloy You should tell me about it because it's a scheduled media appearance by this department's secretary of state, so therefore it falls well within my purview!
Malcolm Tucker Within your purview"?
Judy Molloy Yes!
Malcolm Tucker Where do you think you are, in some fucking regency costume drama?! This is a government department! Not a fucking ] novel!
[[Jane Austen|Jane fucking Austen]
Simon Foster Malcolm...
Malcolm Tucker Allow me to pop a jaunty little bonnet on your "purview" and ram it up the shitter with a lubricated horse-cock!
Judy Molloy Your swearing does not impress me. My husband works for Tower Hamlets and believe me, those kids make you sound like... ]!
[[w:Angela Lansbury|Angela Lansbury]
Malcolm Tucker She's married? Poor bastard.
[to Simon]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
The Unpredictability of War
Simon Foster Well, personally, I think that war is unforeseeable.
[In a radio interview]
Malcolm Tucker Sam! Sam!
Eddie Mair Unforeseeable"?
[On radio]
Simon Foster Yes.
[On radio]
Malcolm Tucker No, you do not think that! Sam, I'm going to have to go to International Development and pull Simon Foster's fucking hair.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Agreement in a Moment of Decision
Malcolm Tucker Yeah, ]. Yeah, I like that.
[[w:The Diary of a Nobody|diarrhea of a nobody]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Work Ethic and Exhaustion in Politics
Malcolm Tucker You sure you're working as hard as me? Cause I'm sweating spinal fluid here! I'm a fucking husk!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Hope for Peace Amidst Chaos
Simon Foster I really hope there isn't a war. It's gonna be a nightmare; it's bad enough dealing with the fucking ].
[[w:2012 Summer Olympics|Olympics]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Confrontation in a Tense Political Setting
Malcolm Tucker I'm sorry... I don't... This situation here... Is this it? No offense, son, but you look like you should still be at school with your head down a fucking toilet.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Escalating Tensions in a Frustrating Situation
Simon Foster Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK! Why didn't we nail the line?!
Judy Molloy Simon, I did try to warn you.
Simon Foster Yes! Yes! You did try to warn me, but you don't actually stop me, did you?!
Judy Molloy I can't tackle you to the ground!
Simon Foster That's like shouting "Train!" as someone gets hit by a train! You should go, "Train! It's a fucking train!
Judy Molloy Bollocks!
[her phone rings]
Simon Foster Fuck, it's Malcolm!
[his phone rings also]
Judy Molloy Mine's Malcolm, too.
Simon Foster How does he do that?
Malcolm Tucker Simon, I don't like finding out about people employed by this government via the news unless they've just died. Be here, now!
[talking on two mobiles]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Malcolm Tucker's Frustration with Simon
Malcolm Tucker Christ on a bendy-bus, Simon, don't be such a fucking faff-arse.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Coup d'état with goons available
Malcolm Tucker We've got enough ] goons to stage a fucking coup d'etat.
[[The Pentagon|Pentagon]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Frustration in Political Engagement
Simon Foster Meeting my constituents? It's like being ] but without the ability to say "Fuck off, you're mental.
[[Simon Cowell]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Unexpected Visitor Arrives Without Warning
Simon Foster Who was that?
Judy Molloy Malcolm. He's coming to see you.
Simon Foster Oh shit, he's still alive. When's he due?
Malcolm Tucker Now. And don't say you weren't prepared, because I rang ahead.
[Entering the room]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
A Bold Expression of Frustration
Malcolm Tucker Kiss my sweaty balls, you fat fuck!
[to the Passer-by]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Witty Banter Across Time Zones
Malcolm Tucker I'm here, I'm there, I'm fucking everywhere. ]
[[w:I_Am_The_Walrus|I'm the egg man.]
Simon Foster Have you come to insult me in a different timezone?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Malcolm Tucker's Frustration and Demands
Malcolm Tucker I'm not holding any longer. What's he waiting for, a fucking sex change? NO, YOU RELAX! Get me fucking Brian! If you don't get me fucking Brian, I'm gonna come over there, I'm gonna lock you in a fucking flotation tank, and pump it full of sewage until you fucking drown!
[On mobile phone]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Threatening Expression of Frustration
Malcolm Tucker You know, if I could, I'd fucking punch you into paralysis!
[to Simon Foster]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Malcolm Tucker's Dark Humor on Betrayal
Malcolm Tucker Okay, okay, go ahead and print "unforeseeable." Listen, see when I tell your wife about you and Angela Heaney at the Blackpool conference, what would be best? An email, a phone call, what? Hey! I could write it on a cake with those little silver balls: "Your hack husband betrayed you on October the 4th and congratulations on the new baby." Yeah, maybe it's better to spike it. Yeah, okay, fuckity-bye!
[On mobile phone]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Differentiating Politics from Agriculture's Calmness
Toby Wright It's a bit manic, it's not like Agriculture. People rarely get this swear-y about wheat.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Advice on Navigating Diplomatic Relations
Toby Wright Good luck at the Foreign Office, try not to annoy Russia.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Insulting Charm in Diplomatic Discourse
Malcolm Tucker Mr Ambassador, with your big baldy head, you are spoiling us!
[to Sir Jonathan Tutt]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Political Childishness in Washington D.C.
Judy Molloy They're all kids in Washington. It's like ] but with real guns.
[[w:Bugsy Malone|Bugsy Malone]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
The Dangers of Civilian Perspectives on War
Chad You couldn't write a paper that clashes more with the current climate if you were trying. And it seems like you almost were trying.
General Miller This is the problem with civilians wanting to go to war. Once you've been there, once you've seen it, you never want to go again unless you absolutely fucking have to. It's like France.
[pause]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Builders in Heroic Narratives
Jamie MacDonald What did you expect? They're BUILDERS! Have-- have you ever seen a film where the hero is a builder? No? No, because they never FUCKING TURN UP IN THE NICK OF TIME! Batbuilder? Spider-builder? Huh? That's why you never see a superhero with a hod!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Confronting Boredom with Brutal Honesty
Malcolm Tucker You know, I've come across a lot of psychos, but none as fucking boring as you! I mean, you are a real boring fuck! Sorry, I know you disapprove of the swearing, so I'll sort that. You are a boring F-star-star-CUNT.
[to Linton Barwick]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Coordination of Millennium Goals in Press Release
Judy Molloy Mark, you're coordinating the millennium goals on the press release, aren't you?
Mark Yes.
Judy Molloy Coordinate it better, please.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Unpredictability Described by Malcolm Tucker
Malcolm Tucker In the words of the late great ], unforeseeable, that's what you are.
[to Simon Foster; [Nat King Cole|Nat King fucking Cole]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Opinions on Glass Offices in London
Linton Barwick My golly, I can't see why anyone would choose to work in a glass office, huh? Glass offices, in my opinion, are for perverts.
Bob Adriano I could request the glass be frosted.
Linton Barwick Frosting is on cakes, huh? Now, what else happened in London?
Bob Adriano Ah, generally positive, two glitches...
Linton Barwick Really? What?
Bob Adriano Karen flagged a report by one of her staffers, she's obviously trying to use it as some kind of roadblock. It's called PWIP PIP.
Linton Barwick PWIP what?
Bob Adriano PWIP PIP.
Linton Barwick What is it, a report on bird calls? What does it even stand for?
Bob Adriano I can't recall. It's factish—intel for and against intervention.
Linton Barwick We have all the facts on this we need. We don't need any more facts. In the land of truth, my friend... the man with one fact is the king.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Loop
Rehearsing Detachment in Political Discourse
Malcolm Tucker Karen Clark will want you to say that war is unforeseeable, and Linton Barwick will want you to talk about the "climb the mountain of conflict" line. You say nothing, okay? You stay detached, otherwise that's what I'll do to your retinas.
Simon Foster Right, can I go to bed now, please?
Malcolm Tucker No, no, no, no, no! You're gonna stay here, and you're gonna rehearse saying nothing!
Simon Foster Am I being tortured?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.