Jack and Jill (2011) - Quotes

Misunderstandings Across Time Zones

Al Pacino: Amongst this princely heap, if any here, by false intelligence... Hold me a foe if I unwittingly... or in my rage, committed aught that is hardly borne by any in this princely presence, I do reconcile myself to his friendly peace. Tis death to me to be at enmity, and desire all good men's love. Where were you, Popcorn?

Jack: What do you mean? It's 5:30.

Al Pacino: No, no, it's 9: 30 my time. I was waiting for you at 5:30.

Jack: Oh, it's four hours the other way. I just... I got confused. I...

Al Pacino: Okay, whatever, whatever, whatever. What's going on? How's she doing'?

Jack: We're, uh, we're, uh, we're coming along. That's how we're doing.

Al Pacino: Coming along? What does that mean, "coming along"? What does that mean?

Crowd #1: Come on, wrap it up!

Jack: It means we're getting there. We just need a little more time.

Al Pacino: Put her on the phone. I want to hear her voice.

Jack: Ah, she's not here right now.

Jill: This reminds me of that boat movie with Leonardo.

Erin: Titanic?

Jill: No, the one with the iceberg.

Al Pacino: Who is that?

Jack: That was, uh, Poopsie.

Al Pacino: Why won't you let me talk... Hey, can you... You got to be quiet. I can't hear him! All right? Please. Please! Yeah, listen, you get me this girl, or you don't get that Dunkaccino commercial, you understand? Don't you know me? Don't you know I would use all my power, all the power I have, to keep a commercial like that from happening'? Don't you know that?

Crowd #1: Is he seriously breaking out The Godfather?

Crowd #2: I swear to God, I'm going to cry.

Al Pacino: Put her on! Put her on!

Crowd #3: Pacino!

Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right. Hang on for a second. I'll put her on. Hello'?

Al Pacino: Jill, my darling, just to hear your voice. What are they doing? Why are they trying to keep us apart?

Jack: Nobody's keeping me apart from anybody. I'm my own person. You remember that.

Al Pacino: Oh, I know you're your own person. Nobody's like you.

Stunt Guy: Uh... Would you like a little privacy? I could finish up for you.

Al Pacino: No, no, it's okay. It's okay. Nobody wants to see you. But thanks, anyway. Jill. can you meet me when you dock in Spain'?

Jack: But what about your Shakespeare show'? Don't you have that to do?

Al Pacino: You kidding? This is L.A. They got Bruce Jenner playing Lord Rivers.

Jack: Yeah, I don't think so.

Al Pacino: Darling, put your brother on.

Jack: Okay. Here he is. Hello. Jack's back.

Al Pacino: Popcorn, we did it! We did it! I'm coming, I'm coming to get her!

Jack: You're coming to get her? She just said, "I don't think so," I thought.

Al Pacino: I can smell horny across an ocean. Here's how it's going to go down. 9PM tomorrow top deck, portside. I'll be there. Audience, could you tell me where I was?

Crowd #4: But he, poor soul.

Al Pacino: But he, poor soul, by your first order died.

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