Jackass 3D (2010) - Quotes

Bam Margera: This is Barrel Surfing.

Steve-O: I think Barrel Surfing's for macho jerks with a death wish.

Chris Pontius: No, it's not. It's the ultimate thrill, the ultimate rush. Even more than sex.

Steve-O: Well, that depends on who you're doing it with.

Jason "Wee Man" Acuña: No fucking way, dude!

Ryan Dunn: Hey, is there blue on me?

Johnny Knoxville: Oh my god...I am so happy.

Ryan Dunn: Dude, that thing goes!

Jason "Wee Man" Acuña: How's Santa doing?

Johnny Knoxville: [''climbing a tree''] Santa's fucking tired.

Bam Margera: Where's Phil?

Phil Margera: [''From the bathroom''] I had to take a mean shit.

Bam Margera: There's a gorilla.

Phil Margera: I know, I had to take a mean shit, it was coming out. Hear it? It's all juicy. I had to do it.

Bam Margera: Phil, you are mingin'.

Phil Margera: I know, I had to.

Rake Yohn: [''As Ryan Dunn is about to super glue his ass to Phil Margera's back''] Dunn, do you shave your ass?

Ryan Dunn: Do I shave my ass?", look at me! I don't know what a razor feels like.

Johnny Knoxville: Well apparently, you don't know what toilet paper feels like either.

Dunn: I don't!

Johnny Knoxville: [''after pulling a string off Chris' penis with a helicopter''] So much for my aviation career.

Chris Pontius: So much for my love life.

Johnny Knoxville: [''Preparing the Poo-Cocktail Supreme''] I think it was 10 years ago today I did the first Poo Cocktail. Now you're taking the reins and taking it to a whole nother level.

Steve-O: [''Unexcitedly''] Yep.

Johnny Knoxville: You look pretty happy about it.

Steve-O: You guys better let me out after this quick, because I'm going to be so claustrophobic, dude.

Johnny Knoxville: What, you have claustrophobia?

Chris Pontius: Just relax, and enjoy your shit.

Jeff Tremaine: Jared, what's your job?

Jared Allen: MURDER KNOXVILLE'S FACE.

Jeff Tremaine: And Johnny, what's your job?

Johnny Knoxville: ...Catch the ball?

Bam Margera: Is Knoxville going to catch the ball?

Ryan Dunn: Who gives a shit?

Preston Lacy: Hi, I'm Preston Lacy. And this is the Apple of my Ass.

Steve-O: [''About to get hit between the legs, in a strained voice''; ''freezes up''] I'm Steve-O, and Oh, fuck! Why do I have to be Steve-O?!

Steve-O: See, Dave doesn't understand: the more you freak out, the more you get stung. Idiot.

Chris Pontius: That had everything. It had shit, it had danger, it had puke. That's what this show's all about...and sex appeal.

Chris Pontius: This is the kind of extreme shit most extreme dudes don't even think about.

Chris Pontius: [''after Johnny Knoxville wrecks the lattice with [[w:Personal watercraft|the jet-ski] Shit! Dude, I know we shouldn't have done this at my fucking dad's house. He's already mad I'm fucking skipping school, he's gonna cut me off! That's coming out of my allowance.

Danger" Ehren McGhehey: [''WAfter getting his tooth pulled out by a Lamborghini''] Oh, I wish I could say that didn't suck!

Bam Margera: [''After Chris Pontius complains about being stung in the face by [[w:scorpion|a scorpion] What did you think was going to happen?

Bam Margera: [[w:Lamborghini|the Lambo] Get in ], shitbird!

Bam Margera: [''After he runs through an obstacle course full of tasers and cattle prods''] I change my mind. Stun guns are now the number one most thing that I hate now. Bulls are second, snakes are third. That sucked!

Johnny Knoxville: [''Dressed as a mild-mannered, senior-citizen, with professional face make-up, accompanied by an elderly lady, and a willing, attractive, younger looking adult female in support''] Hello, I'm Irving Zistman, this is my wife, and grandaughter, and today, I'm a really bad grandpa!

Johnny Knoxville: [''As Bam pees in front of a jet engine blowing in his face''] That's the story of Jackass, right there. Just pissing in the wind!

Johnny Knoxville: [''after Wee-Man is hit in the groin by a random apple thrown at him by Jeff Tremaine''] See, I told you it's not that hard to get into film!

Johnny Knoxville: [''Steve-O just puked after biting an apple that was in Preston's buttocks''] You don't like apple and peanut butter?

Johnny Knoxville: Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. Welcome to Jackass!

Johnny Knoxville: [''seeing a bull stomping its feet''] Oh, I hate it when they do that.

Johnny Knoxville: [''dressed as Santa Claus''] Santa did have a few drinks last night, so this ain't going to feel too good.