Jackass: The Movie poster

Jackass: The Movie Quotes

"Do not attempt this at home."

R 2002 · 1h 25m
63
Audience
63
Audience
30 quotes
Humorous Injury from Jackass Prank
Ryan Dunn Knoxville knocked my nuts in half!
Close Call with Loomis
Johnny Knoxville That almost hit Loomis in the face!
[''Referring to firework going off'']
Unexpected Reactions in Risky Situations
Johnny Knoxville I was barely halfway through the ceiling and you were already out the door!
[''To "Jewelery Burglary" skit bystander'']
Safety Warning for Stunts Performed by Professionals
Johnny Knoxville WARNING: The stunts in this movie were performed by professionals, so for your safety and the protection of those around you, do not attempt any of the stunts you're about to see.
[''Opening narration'']
Request for Explosions in Jackass
Bam Margera Whose dick do I gotta suck to get some explosions around here?
A Defiant Statement of Frustration
Johnny Knoxville You little bastard!
Observation of Phil's Appearance
Bam Margera Look at Phil's tummy.
[''Referring to father Phil's obesity'']
Introduction to Rocket Skates Experimentation
Johnny Knoxville Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and we're about to test my rocket skates.
Introduction to Jackass by Johnny Knoxville
Johnny Knoxville Hi, I’m Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!
[''Opening line'']
Embracing Risk and Confidence in Life
Johnny Knoxville There's no such thing as failure, Steve-O!... One thing I know, is good tightrope walking!
Reminder to Wake Up Early
Bam Margera Hey Phil, you know you have to get up at 5 in the morning tonight.
[''After waking Phil up with fire works'']
Returning with a Full Tank of Gas
Johnny Knoxville But I returned it with a full tank of gas.
[''After returning the smashed up car'']
Bam Margera's Bold Statement on Sweat
Bam Margera This is Sweaty Fat Fucks. ] and Mat Hoffman hit Bam in
[''[[w:Tony Hawk|Tony Hawk; [w:testicles|the testicles]
Bam Margera's Frustrated Exclamation
Bam Margera Eh! What the fuck!
[''After getting a surprise haircut'']
Urgency in a Distressing Situation
Johnny Knoxville Go grab the dead kitty! You're not going to save the kitty?
[''To Steve-O''; ''Later, in disbelief after Steve O exits the septic river'']
Introduction of the Muscle Simulator
Johnny Knoxville This is the Muscle Simulator.
Disappointment Amidst Chaos in the Store
Bam Margera He was so bummed! He went there to buy ] and he just got bummed because there was a fight going on!
[''About the upset customer in the store''; [w:QTips|QTips]
Ryan Dunn Anticipates a Tough Encounter
Ryan Dunn ], a female I'm about to get the shit kicked out of me by a girl.
[''Referring to proceed with a boxing match with [[w:Naoko Kumagai|Naoko Kumagai; [w:Kickboxing|Japanese kickboxer]
Desire for something enjoyable
Ryan Dunn Ryan Dunn: I could sure go for a ]...
[[w:Miller Brewing Company#Miller High Life|Miller High Life]
Concussion Acknowledgment in Jackass: The Movie
Johnny Knoxville I think I'm a little concussed.
Rake's Mother's Warning About Future Children
Bam Margera How much does Rake hate mustard? This is Rake's mom and she says I wouldn't be able to have children in my future.
[''From extended footage, on phone''; ''To cameraman'']
Unexpected Cab Ride Back to Hotel
Johnny Knoxville Oh shit, I'm taking a cab back to the hotel!
[''Laughing at Dave England who has soiled himself'']
Injury and Frustration Expressed by Knoxville
Johnny Knoxville I fell and busted my ass, that's what's fuckin wrong!
Concern for Butterbean's Well-Being
Johnny Knoxville Is Butterbean OK?
[''After being beat up by [[w:Butterbean|Butterbean]
Attempting a Railslide Challenge
Johnny Knoxville I'm here with ] and ] and today I'm gonna 50-50 this rail and... or try to.
[[w:Eric Koston|Eric Koston; [w:Clyde Singleton|Clyde Singleton]
Instinctive Reactions Cannot Be Taught
Johnny Knoxville Did you see the way I stopped the beanbag with my stomach? That's instinct. You can't teach that.
Inquiry About a Pocket-Sized Item
Johnny Knoxville Do you have a pocket ass?
Confronting the Reality of Pain
Johnny Knoxville That was my flesh!
Self-inflicted Humor and Pain
Johnny Knoxville Kick yourself in the head, wee man.
[''Giving off camera direction to Jason "Wee-Man" Acuna'']
Bad News Written All Over Me
Johnny Knoxville I have bad news written all over me.