14 quotes
Unexpected Conversations About Dogs and Luck
Bart
Sun even shines on a dog's ass some days.
Greenie
You getting a dog?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Classroom Dynamics and Student Engagement
Teacher
Everyone, please take your seats. You heard the bell. You know what it means. Last week, the assignment was to write an essay about your family. Who they...
Teacher
And what they...
[''class: "Are!"'']
Teacher
Excellent droning.
[''class: "Mean to us!"'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggles with Self-Image and Social Pressure
Gertrude
You try getting ready quickly when you look like this! I'm so fat and there's going to be nothing but beautiful skinny girls there!
[''very pregnant Gertrude is getting ready for the VMAs'']
Ollie
That's because they're all coked-out whores, honey.
Gertrude
I want to be a coked-out whore!
[''now crying'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Conflict of Emotions and Resentments
Gertie
I hate you! I hate you! I wish you died, not MOMMY!
Ollie
I hate you right back, you little shit! You and your mom took my life away from me. I just want it back!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Curiosity About Size and Comparison
Ollie
Do you have any questions about what you saw?
Gertie
Do you have what Brian has?
[''thinking hard'']
Ollie
Yes.
Gertie
Is it as big as his?
[''after thinking hard again'']
Ollie
Sadly, yes.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Father's Love for His Daughter
Gertie
Thank you, daddy.
Ollie
Anything for you, Gert. You know why?
Gertie
Why?
Ollie
Because you're the only thing I was ever really good at.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Daily Routine Discussion Between Characters
Maya
I do it at least twice a day.
Ollie
Good God!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Boy's Unusual Excuse for Missing Homework
Boy #5
Okay, it's like this. My dog ate my paper. I checked, but he didn't poop it out.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
George Michael's Lyrics and Their Implications
Ollie
George Michael is all about the ladies. "I want your sex". Does that sound like he's singing to a guy?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Fatherhood and Responsibility in Jersey Girl
Bart
Try acting like a father, shit-head.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Maya Expresses Affection for Trinkle
Maya
That was kind of sweet. I'm kind of crushing on you right now, Trinkle.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Critique of Cats in New York City
Ollie
Cats" is the second worst thing that ever happened in New York City.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Moment of Self-Reflection
Ollie
You're the only thing I was ever good at.
[''to Gertie'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Take on Self-Image
Ollie
They're just skinny because they're coked-out whores.
Gertrude
I want to be a coked-out whore!
[''sobbing'']
Ollie
Okay, you can be a coked-out whore. You can be a coked-out, coked-out whore.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.