30 quotes
Comment on Outdated Hairstyles
Zander Kelly
God Almighty, manna from inbred heaven. Hey freak boy: 1976 called, it wants its hairstyle back.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Inappropriate Comments on Family Dynamics
Joe Dirt
YOU JUST SAID YOUR SISTER WAS HOT. WHAT A FUH-REAK. You're goin to Hell, man, but it was worth it.
[To himself]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Joe Dirt's Assurance of Gentleness
Joe Dirt
Now, this ain't no flapjack. I'll go real easy. I won't look.
[Trying to scrape Charlie the dog's testicles off the frozen porch]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Communication Tips from Joe Dirt
Joe Dirt
Say it, don't spray it brother. Dang!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Unique Challenge for a Fight
Joe Dirt
You wanna fight? Why don't you stick your head up my butt and fight for air?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Everything can be fixed with time.
Joe Dirt
That shit'll buff out.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Innocent comment about visibility
Joe Dirt
I can see down your shirt!
[while on air balloon]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Identity Through Rock Music Preferences
Joe Dirt
I'm a rocker, dude, through and through. Here's my favorite bands: AC/DC, Van Halen, not Van Hagar, Skynyrd, Def Lep...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Call to Practice and Patience
Joe Dirt
Why don't you go practice fallin down, I'll be there in a minute.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Applying Lotion for Skin Care
Joe Dirt
I'm puttin the lotion on the skin!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Comparison of Faces and Posteriors
Joe Dirt
My face and your ass... I mean, your ass and my face.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Seeking Connection in a New Place
Joe Dirt
I'm new in town, kinda lonely, lookin for my parents.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Commentary on White Trash Stereotypes
Zander Kelly
Now, you're tellin me you were so ingrained with white trash DNA, your facial hair actually grows in on its own all white trashy like that?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Three Rules for Dealing with Crocodiles
Joe Dirt
There are three rules when dealin with a deadly crocodile. Rule number one, I'm number one. Rule number two, the croc's number two.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Finding Home in Unexpected Places
Joe Dirt
And at that moment I thought I might just lie there and never get up. I would just sit there and rot there, but then I looked up and saw the moon and got this weird feelin that Brandy was lookin up at that same moon. Then I realized I had a home all along, in Silvertown.
[Joe falls off a swing]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Fireworks Stand Inventory Inquiry
Joe Dirt
You're gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen spliters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker donts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Life's Challenges and Opportunities
Joe Dirt
Life's a garden. Dig it!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Joe Dirt's Optimism for the Future
Joe Dirt
Things are gonna happen for me. I'm Joe Dirt!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Messiness in Joe Dirt's Life
Joe Dirt
I got the poo on me!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Injury and Misunderstanding of Pain
Joe Dirt
I thought I had broken my ass bone!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Identity in a playful declaration
Joe Dirt
Right on! You're Joe Meteorite and I'm Joe Dirt.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perseverance in Adversity
Joe Dirt
Ya gotta keep on, keepin on.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Joe Dirt's Unique Name Explanation
Joe Dirt
My name is Joe Dirté. I added an e to the end, cause it sounds cool.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Preferences in a Casual Manner
Joe Dirt
You like to see homos naked?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Desire for Distance and Disinterest
Joe Dirt
I don't care about this, and I don't care about these! And I hope I never see you again for the next twenty-five years!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Self-Reflection on Identity and Perception
Zander Kelly
What's the story here? I'm a white trash idiot - the end.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning a Wig's Purpose in Stunt Work
Zander Kelly
Why have you got a wig? You doing stunt work for Billy Ray Cyrus?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Joe Dirt's Insight on His Situation
Joe Dirt
It puts the Joe Dirt in the hole.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Joe Dirt's Challenge to Speak Up
Joe Dirt
You guys got somethin to say to me? Why don't you say it in the microphone. I got a backup mic right here. Check one two, testing, testing. Yup, they both workin and guess what? They don't like no feedback, what's up?
[puts up fists]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Twist on Misfortune
Joe Dirt
Luckily, my neck broke my fall.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.