17 quotes
A Weekend of Disappointing Experiences
Joe
Did you have fun?
Natalie
Weekend from hell. They took me to another silly-ass hippie restaurant.
Natalie
With thee most absurd one-man play ever produced!
Joe
Silly-ass"?
Natalie
Dad...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Family-Friendly Fun Awaits in Joe Somebody
Taglines
Knockout fun for the whole family!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confusion Over Menu Choices and Performances
Natalie
Everything on the menu was made with curd. Curd this, curd that. I MEAN, I ordered a hamburger and I got a 10-minute lecture on animal rights from the waitress. AND the guy in the play was half-naked!
Joe
WHAT? Which half?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation and Concern in a Tense Moment
Natalie
LEAVE HIM ALONE, DIRTBAG!
[''gets out of the car after Joe gets punched by Mark'']
Joe
Don't call anybody a dirtbag.
Natalie
Daddy, are you okay? You're bleeding.
Joe
I'm good. I just tripped! I'm okay. Let's go...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Standing Up to the Wrong Person
Taglines
someone just picked on the wrong nobody.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding Panic Attacks in Conversation
Meg
You're having a panic attack, do you know what that means?
Joe
It sounds pretty self-explanatory.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Joe Asks for Martial Arts Demonstration
Joe
Can you show me some of that Crouching Dragon, Hidden Tiger stuff?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Relatable Comedy for Everyone
Taglines
A Comedy About Somebody Everybody Can Believe In.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflection on Past Visits
Joe
Did people ever come back here?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Family Dynamics and Eccentricity
Natalie
Why do I have to spend weekends with them? Can't we just drive by every Saturday and wave?
Joe
Your mom's a little eccentric. Think of her as an exotic flower.
Natalie
And that made you what? Dirt?
Joe
NAT, she's your mom.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Miscommunication Leads to Unexpected Humor
Natalie
HEY, that guy is an ass-wipe!
Joe
NATALIE...
Natalie
Sorry, I meant "ass-guy".
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion of a Unique Theater Experience
Callie
We had a great weekend. Did she tell you about the play?
Joe
Yeah. The actors were naked.
Natalie
So were the ushers.
Callie
They were not!
Joe
Callie, ] is in town. What's the matter with that?
[[Beauty and the Beast (1991 film)|Beauty and the Beast]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstanding an Actor's Role
Joe
You became a farmer?
Rick
No, Joe. I'm an actor dressed as a farmer... for an audition.
Joe
Sorry.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Family Relationships and Personal Struggles
Natalie
Dad, just tell me something. Is it you don't want to see me? Or is it you don't want me to see you?
[''on the phone with Joe'']
Joe
Yes... Yes to the second one.
Natalie
DAD, just please let me come over. Just for a little while...
[''crying'']
Joe
It's okay. Everything's all right. I'm just sitting here drowning my sorrows in a - a quart of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Tenure in the Workplace
Joe
That's Mark McKinney! He's a 7-year employee. W-what's he doing in the 10-year lot?
Natalie
Maybe he's going to stand around for another 3 years.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation and Uncertainty in Dialogue
Joe
You talking to me?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Indifference in a Moment of Hope
Chuck
Too bad. I was really hoping to give a shit.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.