11 quotes
The End of an Era in Music
Walter Shit
I'm sorry, there's not gonna be any rock n roll tonight. This is all that's left! This is all that's left of the rolling thunder of America's heartbeat!
[after Joe fails to impress anyone with his drumming skills]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Tenants of the Planet
Ralph Roach
Your apartment? I believe we were here first. And we'll be here last too. We've gotta long-time lease on this planet.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating East 161st Street and River Avenue
Joe F. Grotowski
East 161st Street and River Avenue? East 161st Street and River Avenue! ] ]
[trying to find the address where he is assigned to collect urinal cakes; he finds it only to realize it's [[w:Yankee Stadium|Yankee Stadium]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Request for a Drummer Replacement
Walter Shit
I need you to fill in for my drummer this Saturday. He's dead.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Lighthearted Question About New Jersey Exits
Ralph Roach
Anyone here from New Jersey? What exit? Bada-bing!
[trying to distract a cat with a comedy act]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Persistence of Cockroaches in Adversity
Ralph Roach
Giving up?! What made roaches outlast the dinosaurs? Because roaches never give up! They can stomp us, they can pop us, but they'll never ever stop us! And one day, the Great H bomb's gonna drop, and we'll have the whole stinkin planet to ourselves!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Letter Home from New York City
Joe F. Grotowski
Dear Mom, I arrived in New York, safe and sound. Dear Mom, I arrived in New York, safe and sound... (a second mugger a short distance away does the same thing) Dear Mom, I arrived in New York- Dear Mom... please send money!
[thinking about a letter he wants to write; a mugger jumps out from behind a bus, beats up Joe and takes some of his belongings; a third mugger does the same thing too; the last mugger holds a gun at Joe's head at gunpoint]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Sex, Bugs, and Rock 'n' Roll
Tagline
Sex Bugs Rock n Roll.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Challenge of Rent-Controlled Apartments
Walter Shit
A rent-controlled apartment is one where the rent's been frozen since like the forties. But places like that are hard to find because no one ever leaves them. Unless their landlord's give them a little help.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Remark on a Large Insect
Joe F. Grotowski
That is the biggest, greasiest bug I've ever seen.
[finding a cockroach on a half-eaten sandwich; The cockroach flies off and Joe shrugs before taking a bite out of the sandwich]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Request for Personal Space at Work
Joe F. Grotowski
Yeah? Well, stop following me to work already! For god's sake.
[after saving Ralph's life from the cat]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.