Just One of the Guys (1985) - Quotes

Taglines: Terry Griffith is about to go where no woman has gone before.

Taglines: She's about to go where no girl has gone before!

Mr. Raymaker: [after reading her article] I'm sorry I misjudged you.

Terry: You don't have to apologize. I wouldn't have this job if it weren't for you. I mean, you forced me to fight for what I wanted, and I will never forget you for that.

Mr. Raymaker: [smiles] Thank you.

Terry: I bet you're a little confused.

Rick: I think I understand.

Terry: I know I should've told you sooner, but, uh... I didn't. Um... I'm a...

Rick: [cuts her off] Terry, I know. You're gay.

Terry: I'm not gay.

Rick: Wait a minute. Now I'm confused.

Terry: I'm a girl. I'm a woman.

Rick: [chuckles; [Cyndi Lauper] Right, and I'm ].

Rick: Wait a minute, are those what I think they are?

Terry: I'm sorry.

Rick: Where do you get off having tits?

Terry: There was this contest, and I needed prove it, but then I stayed and I met you. And you're so wonderful that...

Rick: Shit... I can't believe this.

Terry: Rick, I know you're mad, but I think you're terrific, and your friendship means so much to me that I just...

Rick: Then this whole thing was bullshit. Major bullshit.

Rick: [pushes Terry off him] It's okay, everybody. It's all right. He has tits.

Rick: Um, excuse me. Could I have your attention please? Your attention? Every day at lunch, we get a very special treat from a very special guy. A guy who has dedicated his life to building his body, pushing his muscles to the very limits of human endurance. Why, you ask? Why? Well, to be strong enough to lift tables and spill food, Greg Tolan!

Rick: Whoa, wait. Let's take a moment to find out a little bit about the man behind the mess. Greg! May I call you Greg? Now, tell us, Greg, how did you get into spilling food, huh? Were you a messy baby? Did you hate your strained peas? Well, you know, how most psychologists tell us that guys, well, they get into body building to compensate for either a lack of IQ, or a small weenie. Which is it, Greg? Well, those of us in Greg's gym class certainly know the answer to that one.

Greg: I'm going to beat the shit out of you, Morehouse!

Deborah: Greg, please!

Rick: [the kids in the cafeteria go to an end of their table; everybody in the cafeteria lifts their table, spilling food, including spilling their food on Greg's feet] Hey, isn't he great? Muscles and a sense of humor. Well, let's thank Greg for the many lunchtime thrills and spills he's given us. All right everybody, up! Come on, everybody up! Grab an end of your table! A tribute to you, Greg. Lift! We love you, Greg!

Terry: Budmeister, are you okay?

Buddy: No, Terry, I'm not. Mom and Dad come home Monday. I've had two weeks of total freedom. The closest that I've come to sex was a girl who took her top off to seduce my sister. What's wrong with me?

Terry: I know I could do better. I'm just confused.

Buddy: Of course you're confused. You're wearing my underwear.

Terry: Listen, there's a half-naked woman in your bedroom feeding pizza to some fish, and she's all yours.

Buddy: Sounds too kinky for me.

Terry: Budster, I need you. She needs you. You need her.

Buddy: Is she really half-naked?

Terry: Maybe more by now.

Buddy: What if you're lying?

Terry: What if I'm not?

Buddy: Good point. If I'm not back in a week, forward my mail.

Terry: What are you doing?

Rick: What's it look like I'm doing?

Terry: Well, do you have to do that in here?

Rick: Seemed like the right time, certainly the right place.

Terry: Come on, Buddy, admit it. You would love to spend your entire life just using women's bodies.

Buddy: Yeah, all but the last 60 seconds. I'd like a little time to reminisce.

Terry: Can't you think of anything more profound than getting laid?

Buddy: A blowjob?

Buddy: I'm 15 years old. In two years, I reach the peak of my sexual powers. The clock is ticking. I have to get jamming.

Terry: Can't you hear what you're saying? Aren't you a little embarrassed?

Buddy: Nope. I'm horny. Horny will kick embarrassment's ass every time.

Terry: Budster, listen to me. Don't you want your first time to be with someone you love?

Buddy: I guarantee it, I'll be in love.

Buddy: Very crucial. Something every guy does. Let me see you scratch your balls.

Budy: Hey, come on, try it.

Buddy: [Buddy shifts his body with his balls] Wait a minute. Watch the master. Now first, there's your basic shift. But that's not always enough. Sometimes you've got to get inside, dig a little, let some air in, move things around.

Terry: Yeah, well, maybe my balls don't itch.

Buddy: All balls itch. It's a fact!

Terry: Sometimes I just wish I were a guy.

Buddy: No, you don't. The male body needs sex at all times. It's a living hell.

Terry: I am going to be a reporter.

Mr. Raymaker: That's good. I like that attitude. But don't you think that it would be nice to have something to fall back on?

Terry: Like what?

Mr. Raymaker: Uh, well, you're a pretty girl, you could be a model.

Terry: Be a model? Why? Because a pretty girl couldn't possibly have a brain?

Buddy Griffith: Don't get me wrong. It's not like I've never had sex before. I've had lots of sex. Just that now I want to try it with a partner.

Buddy Griffith: [on the phone; Terry stares] Hello? Hey, yo, scumbag! Hey, suck your own. Eat me. Hey, same to you, buttface! Mom says hi.