17 quotes
Lunchroom Banter Turns into Tension
Rick
Um, excuse me. Could I have your attention please? Your attention? Every day at lunch, we get a very special treat from a very special guy. A guy who has dedicated his life to building his body, pushing his muscles to the very limits of human endurance. Why, you ask? Why? Well, to be strong enough to lift tables and spill food, Greg Tolan!
Rick
Whoa, wait. Let's take a moment to find out a little bit about the man behind the mess. Greg! May I call you Greg? Now, tell us, Greg, how did you get into spilling food, huh? Were you a messy baby? Did you hate your strained peas? Well, you know, how most psychologists tell us that guys, well, they get into body building to compensate for either a lack of IQ, or a small weenie. Which is it, Greg? Well, those of us in Greg's gym class certainly know the answer to that one.
Greg
I'm going to beat the shit out of you, Morehouse!
Deborah
Greg, please!
Rick
Hey, isn't he great? Muscles and a sense of humor. Well, let's thank Greg for the many lunchtime thrills and spills he's given us. All right everybody, up! Come on, everybody up! Grab an end of your table! A tribute to you, Greg. Lift! We love you, Greg!
[the kids in the cafeteria go to an end of their table; everybody in the cafeteria lifts their table, spilling food, including spilling their food on Greg's feet]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Take on Gender Perspectives
Terry
Come on, Buddy, admit it. You would love to spend your entire life just using women's bodies.
Buddy
Yeah, all but the last 60 seconds. I'd like a little time to reminisce.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggling with Freedom and Relationships
Terry
Budmeister, are you okay?
Buddy
No, Terry, I'm not. Mom and Dad come home Monday. I've had two weeks of total freedom. The closest that I've come to sex was a girl who took her top off to seduce my sister. What's wrong with me?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Acknowledging Growth and Gratitude
Mr. Raymaker
I'm sorry I misjudged you.
[after reading her article]
Terry
You don't have to apologize. I wouldn't have this job if it weren't for you. I mean, you forced me to fight for what I wanted, and I will never forget you for that.
Mr. Raymaker
Thank you.
[smiles]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Lesson in Male Behavior
Buddy
Very crucial. Something every guy does. Let me see you scratch your balls.
Budy
Hey, come on, try it.
Buddy
Wait a minute. Watch the master. Now first, there's your basic shift. But that's not always enough. Sometimes you've got to get inside, dig a little, let some air in, move things around.
[Buddy shifts his body with his balls]
Terry
Yeah, well, maybe my balls don't itch.
Buddy
All balls itch. It's a fact!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding and Acceptance in Friendship
Terry
I bet you're a little confused.
Rick
I think I understand.
Terry
I know I should've told you sooner, but, uh... I didn't. Um... I'm a...
Rick
Terry, I know. You're gay.
[cuts her off]
Terry
I'm not gay.
Rick
Wait a minute. Now I'm confused.
Terry
I'm a girl. I'm a woman.
Rick
Right, and I'm ].
[chuckles; [Cyndi Lauper]
Rick
Wait a minute, are those what I think they are?
Terry
I'm sorry.
Rick
Where do you get off having tits?
Terry
There was this contest, and I needed prove it, but then I stayed and I met you. And you're so wonderful that...
Rick
Shit... I can't believe this.
Terry
Rick, I know you're mad, but I think you're terrific, and your friendship means so much to me that I just...
Rick
Then this whole thing was bullshit. Major bullshit.
Rick
It's okay, everybody. It's all right. He has tits.
[pushes Terry off him]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Challenges of Gender Perspectives
Terry
Sometimes I just wish I were a guy.
Buddy
No, you don't. The male body needs sex at all times. It's a living hell.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Balancing Ambition and Practicality in Career Choices
Terry
I am going to be a reporter.
Mr. Raymaker
That's good. I like that attitude. But don't you think that it would be nice to have something to fall back on?
Terry
Like what?
Mr. Raymaker
Uh, well, you're a pretty girl, you could be a model.
Terry
Be a model? Why? Because a pretty girl couldn't possibly have a brain?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Visitors and Unusual Situations
Terry
Listen, there's a half-naked woman in your bedroom feeding pizza to some fish, and she's all yours.
Buddy
Sounds too kinky for me.
Terry
Budster, I need you. She needs you. You need her.
Buddy
Is she really half-naked?
Terry
Maybe more by now.
Buddy
What if you're lying?
Terry
What if I'm not?
Buddy
Good point. If I'm not back in a week, forward my mail.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Question of Profound Thoughts
Terry
Can't you think of anything more profound than getting laid?
Buddy
A blowjob?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Inappropriate Timing for Actions
Terry
What are you doing?
Rick
What's it look like I'm doing?
Terry
Well, do you have to do that in here?
Rick
Seemed like the right time, certainly the right place.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire for a New Experience in Intimacy
Buddy Griffith
Don't get me wrong. It's not like I've never had sex before. I've had lots of sex. Just that now I want to try it with a partner.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Playful Banter and Insults Among Friends
Buddy Griffith
Hello? Hey, yo, scumbag! Hey, suck your own. Eat me. Hey, same to you, buttface! Mom says hi.
[on the phone; Terry stares]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Breaking New Ground in Gender Roles
Taglines
Terry Griffith is about to go where no woman has gone before.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confusion Over Underwear in Friendship
Terry
I know I could do better. I'm just confused.
Buddy
Of course you're confused. You're wearing my underwear.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating Youthful Desires and Relationships
Buddy
I'm 15 years old. In two years, I reach the peak of my sexual powers. The clock is ticking. I have to get jamming.
Terry
Can't you hear what you're saying? Aren't you a little embarrassed?
Buddy
Nope. I'm horny. Horny will kick embarrassment's ass every time.
Terry
Budster, listen to me. Don't you want your first time to be with someone you love?
Buddy
I guarantee it, I'll be in love.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Breaking New Ground for Girls
Taglines
She's about to go where no girl has gone before!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.