30 quotes
The Desire to Be a Superhero
Dave Lizewski/Kick-Ass
I always wondered why nobody did it before me. I mean, all those comic books, movies, t. v. shows, you'd think that one eccentric loner would have made himself a costume. I mean, is everyday life really so exciting? Are schools and offices so thrilling that I'm the only one who ever fantasised about this? Come on, be honest with yourself. At some point in our lives, we all wanted to be a superhero.
[narrating]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire for a Kick-Ass Celebration
Frank D'Amico
Mommy! I want a Kick-Ass party! Dumb little fucks.
[in mockingly childish falsetto; in normal voice]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Difference Between Heroes and Superheroes
Dave
How come nobody's ever tried to be a superhero?
Marty
Boy, I don't know. Probably cause it's fucking impossible, dipshit.
Dave
What, putting on a mask and helping people? How's that impossible?
Todd
That's not superhero, though. How is that super? Super's like being stronger than everybody and flying and shit. That's just hero.
Marty
No, it's not even hero. It's just fucking psycho.
Todd
Hmm.
Dave
Hello? ]? He didn't have any powers.
[[w:Bruce Wayne|Bruce Wayne]
Todd
Yes, but he had all the expensive shit that doesn't exist. I thought you mean like, "How come nobody does it in real life?
Dave
Yeah, Todd. That's what I meant.
Marty
Dude, if anybody did it in real life, they'd get their ass kicked. They'd be dead in like a day.
Todd
A day.
Dave
Yeah, okay, I'm not saying they should do it. I just can't figure out why nobody does. Seriously, out of all the millions of people who love superheroes, you'd think one would give it a try. Jesus, doesn't that bug you guys? Like thousands of people want to be ]; nobody wants to be ].
[Todd and Marty just give Dave looks of disagreement; [w:Paris Hilton|Paris Hilton; [w:Spider-Man|Spider-Man]
Marty
Yeah, what's with that? She has like no tits, at all.
[to Todd]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation Between Frank and Kick-Ass
Frank D'Amico
Ruin my business, huh? Kill every single fucking guy on my payroll?! God, I wish I had a son like you. Time for a family reunion.
[fighting Hit-Girl; picks up gun; points gun at Hit-Girl]
Dave/Kick-Ass
Hey! Why don't you pick on somebody your own size?
[Frank looks up to see Kick-Ass holding a bazooka; blasts a bullet at Frank, causing him to crash through the window and the bazooka bullet explodes, finally killing him]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing the Challenge of Heroism
Dave Lizewski/Kick-Ass
*This quote rephrased a quote from ].
[[Spider-Man (film)|Spider-Man]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Empowerment Through Action and Determination
Taglines
I can't be invisible, but I can kick your ass.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Strong Opinion on Character Behavior
Mindy Macready/Hit-Girl
What a douche.
[after killing Cody in his car with a [[w:Car crusher|car crusher]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing the Superhero Identity
Chris D'Amico/Red Mist
That's right, we're superheroes, you love us.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Miscommunication in a High-Stakes Situation
Huge Goon
Everything is under control.
[grabs the bazooka]
Red Mist
Under control? You're grabbing a fucking bazooka, you dumbass!
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Decision to escalate with a bazooka
Huge Goon
Fuck this shit, I'm getting the bazooka!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Introduction of a menacing presence
Huge Goon
Say hello to my little friend!
[about to fire the bazooka]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Limitations and Strengths of a Hero
Taglines
I can't fly, but I can kick your ass.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confidence in Action: A Powerful Statement
Taglines
I can't read your mind, but I can kick your ass.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Limitations and Strengths in Confrontation
Taglines
I can't see through walls, but I can kick your ass.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Burden of Responsibility in Powerlessness
Dave Lizewski/Kick-Ass
With no power comes no responsibility, except that wasn't true.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Fear and Power
Huge Goon
*Quoting Tony Montana from ].
[[Scarface]
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Discussion on Kick-Ass's effectiveness as a hero
Mindy
You know what? Everyone likes Kick-Ass. If you see the clip he's actually pretty good.
Damon
Good at getting his ass... kicked. They should call him Ass-Kick, instead.
[''laughs sarcastically'']
Mindy
That doesn't even make sense.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Birthday Wishes for a Puppy and Toy
Damon
So, have you thought a little more about what you might want for your birthday?
Mindy
Can I get a puppy?
Damon
You wanna get a dog?
[in disbelief]
Mindy
Yeah, a cuddly, fluffy one. And a Bratz Movie Star Makeover Sasha.
Mindy
I'm just messing with you, Daddy. Look, I'd love a Benchmade Model 42 ].
[laughing; [w:butterfly knife|butterfly knife]
Damon
Oh, child. You always knock me for a loop. You know what?
[in relief]
Mindy
What?
Damon
I'm gonna get you two.
Mindy
Two?
Damon
One balisong. Two balisong. That's what you get.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Consequences of Careless Actions
Dave/Kick-Ass
I didn't say anything to anyone, I swear!
[panting]
Big Daddy
Good move, Ass-Kick. Let's keep it that way.
Hit Girl
You know what this is? It's all the cartridge crap that comes out of your gay little taser when you fire it. You do know the police could've traced this right back to you if they found it? But lucky for you, I picked it up.
[shows cartridge in her hand; Dave shakes his head]
Dave/Kick-Ass
Thank you.
[in relief; walks over to claim the stuff from Hit-Girl; Big Daddy takes it from his hands]
Big Daddy
Let's call it insurance. Makes it easier for us to take your word. See, we like you, but we don't trust you.
Hit Girl
Don't take it personal, though. We don't trust anybody.
Big Daddy
I rerouted your IP adress. Finding you was way too easy.
Dave/Kick-Ass
Oh, shit. Shit, I hadn't thought…my God, I…I owe you. You know what? I'm thinking of just shutting my site down anyway. Quitting. I mean, this is…it's fucking insane. I'm in way over my head.
[stammering]
Hit Girl
It's a shame. You have potential.
Big Daddy
Your call. But you know, we're around if you need us.
Dave/Kick-Ass
How do I get a hold of you?
Hit Girl
You just contact the mayor's office, he has a special signal he shines in the sky. It's in the shape of a giant cock.
[sarcastically]
Big Daddy
You need us, put on your website that you're on vacation. We'll find you. Hit-Girl, back to headquarters.
[to Hit-Girl; jumps out of window]
Hit Girl
Sweet dreams.
[to Dave, as she follows Big Daddy; Blows him a kiss and then jumps out of window, leaving Dave distraught]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Assertive Call to Action
Taglines
Shut up. Kick Ass.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation and challenge in battle
Mindy Macready/Hit-Girl
Okay, you cunts, let's see what you can do now.
[[w:Kick-Ass (film)|main article]
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Confrontation with Mister Bitey
Dave Lizewski/Kick-Ass
FUCK YOU, Mister Bitey!
[while attempting to rescue a stubborn cat named 'Mister Bitey' who was stuck on a billboard platform; falls off platform]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Inner Strength and Confidence
Taglines
You are fucking awesome!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Burden of Power and Responsibility
Taglines
With no power comes no responsibility.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The End of the Show
Mindy Macready/Hit-Girl
Show's over, motherfuckers.
[after saving Big Daddy and Kick-Ass from being executed on live television; destroys the video camera]
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Responsibility for Childhood in Kick-Ass
Marcus Williams
You owe that kid a childhood.
Big Daddy
I'll tell you who owes her a childhood: FRANK D'AMICO!
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A Reflection on a Great Man's Words
Chris D'Amico/Red Mist
As a great man once said, "]".
[[Batman (1989 film)|Wait 'til they get a load of me!]
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Reassurance in Uncertain Times
Damon Macready/Big Daddy
You're gonna be fine, babydoll!
[lifts up gun at Mindy; shoots Mindy in the chest]
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A Threat of Violence
Rasul
You are so fucking dead, man!
[gets stabbed by Hit-Girl]
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A Father's Call to Action
Damon Macready/Big Daddy
Mindy? No more homework, baby doll. It's time for Frank D'Amico to go bye-bye.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.