19 quotes
Efforts to Do Nothing Still Yield Results
Grover
You know, despite my efforts, my intense efforts to do nothing... things happen anyway.
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Reflections on Graduation Attire and Coincidence
Grover
You know, even though all 618 of us were wearing caps and gowns out there today, I couldn't help but think it was a coincidence that we were both wearing black.
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Debating the Experience of Traveling to Prague
Jane
Overrated? You've never even been to Prague.
Grover
Oh, I've been to Prague. Well, I haven't "been to Prague" been to Prague, but I know that thing, that, "Stop shaving your armpits, read ], date a sculptor, now I know how bad American coffee is" thing...
[Jane stares at him; [w:The Unbearable Lightness of Being|The Unbearable Lightness of Being]
Jane
Beer. They have good beer there.
Grover
... how bad American beer is" thing. "How bad American beer is" thing.
[pause]
Jane
Yeah, I heard you the first time.
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Childlike Qualities in Adult Relationships
Jane
Sometimes you can be such a child.
Grover
Yeah, but if I was a child you'd find that endearing.
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Mascara Confusion Between Max and Otis
Max
Are you wearing mascara?
Otis
No... yes.
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The Routine of Daily Life
Max
I found myself writing wake up and go to bed in my day planner as if they are two different events.
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Nostalgia and Success After Graduation
Max
I don't need to go to a campus bar to be reminded of my lack of success with a bunch of thrill seeking snotty college kids.
Skippy
That's us; we're like celebrities to them.
Max
No, we were celebrities. Now going back would be like doing Hollywood Squares. I'm too nostalgic, I'll admit it.
Skippy
We graduated four months ago. What can you possibly be nostalgic for?
Max
I'm nostalgic for conversations I had yesterday. I've begun reminiscing events before they even occur. I'm reminiscing this right now. I can't go to the bar because I've already looked back on it in my memory... and I didn't have a good time.
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Preference for a Drinking Bartender
Grover
I like that you drink. I like a bartender who drinks. Otherwise I feel like I'm being poisoned.
[to Chet]
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Desire for Simplicity in Romantic Gesture
Grover
OK, the way I see it, if we were an old couple, dated for years, graduated, away from all these scholastic complications, and I reached over and kissed you, you wouldn't say a word, you'd be delighted, probably, but if I was to do that now it'd be quite forward, and if I did it the first time we ever met you probably would hit me.
Jane
What do you mean?
Grover
I just wish we were an old couple so I could do that.
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Confusion Over Pajama Top Identification
Max
Is that a pajama top?
Otis
No... Yes.
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Confusion Over Book's Impact on Emotions
Otis
It was arousing... violently arousing.
[in book club]
Chet
Otis, did you even read the book?
Otis
Yes... no.
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Teenage Milestones and Growing Up
Kate
I'm going to be 17 tomorrow.
Max
Wow, now you can read ] and get all the references.
[[w:Seventeen Magazine|Seventeen Magazine]
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Late Night Conversations Among Friends
Grover
Gotta go sleep with a freshman.
Max
Yeah, me too.
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From Bad Summer to Bad Life
Max
What I used to be able to pass off as a bad summer could now potentially turn into a bad life.
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Concerns About Spreading Affection Too Thin
Max
What about me? You've got enough friends, a new one is bad for you. You start spreading your affection around and it runs thin, believe me.
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Walking Away Like Mothers in Nursery School
Max
This is useless. We just have to walk away like mothers in nursery school.
[to Grover, at the airport, about Otis]
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Comparing Wine and Martini Preferences
Chet
If ] is a fine red wine, then ] is a dry martini.
[[Plato; [Aristotle]
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Concerns About Stopping Medication
Skippy
I begged you not to get off Prozac.
[to Miami]
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Reflections on Parenting and Neglect
Jane
I've always thought that my parents were part of a trickle down method of parenting, you know, like reflection on the ] years. Looked good to a lot of people but basically I'm paying for all that neglect now.
[[Ronald Reagan|Reagan]
Grover
I guess my parents have sort of a ] feel to them, like there's no satisfactory reason why they became parents, like my real parents were assassinated and these people were next in line for the job. They fight a lot, but they'd never split.
[[Lyndon Johnson]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.