Kidnapping, Caucasian Style - Quotes

Courtroom Announcement by the Court Secretary

Dialogues: Court secretary. All rise! Court is in session!

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Unexpected Arrival and Immediate Reaction

Dialogues: Saakhov. (to Nina) I didn't expect you to come. Such a surprise for me. Excuse me, I'll change.

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Request for Prosecutor's Visit

Dialogues: Shurik. (in mental hospital) Сan I see the prosecutor?

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Betrayal of Trust in Leadership

Dialogues: Jabrail. You've failed the high trust placed in you!

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Embracing Life Despite Fear

Dialogues: Coward. As they say, life is good!

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Concern for an Orphan's Dignity

Dialogues: Jabrail. Listen, don't you have any shame? Offending an orphan like this. She's got no one, except for her uncle and aunt. Twenty five.

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Disruption at the Wedding Palace Opening

Dialogues: Police officer. (reads the offense report) "...And he disrupted the grand opening of the Wedding Palace. Then, on the chapel ruins...

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A Character Declines Alcohol

Dialogues: Shurik. Sorry, I don't drink.

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Frustration with an Unreliable Vehicle

Dialogues: Edik. (resents his 1930s truck) Hey, cursed be the day I got behind the wheel of this vacuum cleaner!

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Betrayal and Anger in Captivity

Nina: (to Shurik) Traitor, vile mercenary... Judas! Scoundrel! How much were you paid? Untie me! A piece of garbage, sellout! Let me go! Bandit, trash, stupid, chameleon, rascal! Alcoholic! Miserable folklorist!

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Urgent Call for Vaccination Amid Epidemic

Edik: There is an epidemic in the region. Total vaccinations. FMD! Sign it!

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Celebrating the Humanity of Our Court

The Coward: Long live our court, the most humane court in the world! (applauses)

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Groom's Unconventional Target in Kidnapping Story

The Fool: By the way, in the neighboring district, the groom kidnap a member of the Communist Party.

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Crushing Cigarette Butts with Style

The Pro: [[:w:Lezginka|lezginka dance] It's not a ] for you, but a twist! I show you everything from the beginning. With the toe of your right foot, you crush the cigarette butt like this... hop-hop-hop-hop-hop! The second butt... the second butt you crush with the toe of your left foot... And now you crush both butts together! Hop-hop-hop!

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Choices Between Registrar and Prosecutor

Saakhov: Now I have only two ways out of this house: either I take her to the Registrar, or she takes me to the prosecutor.

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A Woman's Role in Humanity

Saakhov: [[:w:Arkady Raikin|Arkady Raikin] As our wonderful satirist ] says, a woman is a friend of human!

Abduction with a Promise of Return

Shurik: I abducted her, and I'll return her!

A Toast Lacking Essential Elements

Portier: A toast without wine is like a wedding night without a bride.

Toast to Cybernetics and Counting Precision

Caucasian Toasts: Barbeque master. ...And the princess, out of anger, hung herself on her own braid, because he accurately counted how many grains are in the bag, how many drops are in the sea and how many stars are in the sky. So let's drink to cybernetics!

Unity in Ambition and Consequence

Caucasian Toasts: Barman. ...And when the whole flock flew south for the winter, one small but proud bird said: "Personally, I will fly right into the sun." And she began to rise higher and higher, but very soon she burned her wings and fell to the very bottom of the deepest gorge. So let's drink to the fact that none of us, no matter how high he flew, would never break away from the his team... What happened, my dear?

Desires and Possibilities Toast

Caucasian Toasts: Portier. My great grandfather said: "I desire to buy a house, but I don't have the means to do it. I have the means to buy a goat, but I don't desire it." So let us drink to our desires always meeting our possibilities.A mockery continuation of this toast exist: "My desires finally correspond to my capabilities: I can’t do anything and I don’t want anything".

Folklore Collection and Its Uncertain Origins

Narrator: Shurik told us this story. He collected folklore during his vacation. Maybe this story is just a legend, but, according to Shurik, it really happened in one of the mountain regions. He did not say in which one, so as not to be unfair to other regions where exactly the same story could have happened.