Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery Quotes

Jud So, that's how I came to Chimney Rock. Daniel in the lion's den. David facing off Goliath. Young, dumb and full of Christ. Ready for anything.

Jud Wicks kept his core group tight. And the seductive power of his charisma was undeniable. But his method...every week, he would pick someone out, a newcomer usually, and he would attack. This is not the true Church. You ask even the most hardcore of those in the pews, and they'll say, of course this is not what they believe. This is Wicks being Wicks, pushing it too far. But what he's pushing for every time, is a walk-out. Why does he do this? Because when that person walks out, everyone watches. And even if in the light of day it's indefensible, deep down in the dark it scratches an itch. And by staying put in that pew, a side is taken. Wick's side. Testing tolerances. Tapping deep poisoned wells. Hardening, binding with complicity. So I tried to offer a counterbalance.

Lee He's a PINO.

Jud A PINO?

Lee Priest in Name Only. Helping Benoit Blanc crack the mystery of evil, evil church and then some libtard will make a podcast about all of this and before you know it, the idiot versions of all of us will end up on Netflix.

Vera Oh, the idiot version. God forbid.

Wicks Anger! Anger lets us fight back, take back the ground we've lost! And we've lost so much ground. And now you're afraid. Look at those bare-knuckle instincts coming back! Good! You're afraid I'm gonna come at you again, but you're protecting yourself. Because the world wants to destroy us. Your version of love and forgiveness is a sop. It's going along to get along, with modernity, not wanting to offend this garbage world. Meanwhile, they destroy us. Feminists, Marxists, whores..bit by bit, they do. But I carry my burden. I hold the line. And you? You simpering child from Albany? Are you gonna get angry and fight?

Jud You're poisoning this Church. And I'll do whatever it takes to save it. To cut you out like a cancer.

Cy Vera, did he ever tell you anything?

Vera Even if he did, I would go to my grave before giving it to you.

Cy Yeah. You'd have done anything to keep the prodigal son from getting the fortune. It burns you up. You bitter hag.

Vera That money is one psalm in the Bible of my bitterness, you fucking child.

Jud Uh, my first Mass is coming up if… if you wanna stick around.

Blanc Um… That’s so nice of you. There is, uh… nothing I would rather not do. Toodleoo.

Jud How does all this make you feel?

Blanc How does it make me feel? Truthfully?

Jud Sure.

Blanc Well, the architecture, that interests me. I feel the grandeur, the… the mystery, the intended emotional effect... And it’s like someone has shone a story at me that I do not believe. It’s built upon the empty promise of a child’s fairy tale filled with malevolence and misogyny and homophobia and its justified untold acts of violence and cruelty while all the while, and still, hiding its own shameful acts. So like an ornery mule kicking back, I want to pick it apart and pop its perfidious bubble of belief and get to a truth I can swallow without choking... The rafter details are very fine, though. It’s… Listen… you want to kick me out, you go right ahead.

Jud No, no. You’re being honest, it’s good.

Blanc The truth can be a bitter herb. I suspect you can't always be honest with your parishioners.

Jud You can always be honest by not saying the un-honest part. And you're right, it's storytelling. And this Church, it's not Medieval. We're in New York. It's Neo-Gothic, 19th Century. It has more in common with Disneyland than Notre-Dame. And the rites, the rituals, the costumes...all of it, it's storytelling. You're right. I guess the question is, do these stories convince us of a lie? Or do they resonate with something deep inside us that's profoundly true? That we can't express any other way, except storytelling?

Blance Touche, Padre.

Jud I take it you're not a Catholic

Blanc Ah, no. Proud heretic. I kneel at the altar of the rational.

Martha Yes, the harlot whore. That was Wicks mother.

Jud Okay, so what's the deal with that?

Martha She was a harlot and a whore.

Jud Okay...

Blanc This might get unpleasant... or more unpleasant.

Chief Geraldine Scott What the hell was that?

Blanc Road to Damascus. Scales fell from my eyes.

Chief Scott So what? Facts, schmacts? You believe in God and all this mishegoss is real?

Blanc No, no. God is a fiction. My revelation came from…from Father Jud. His example to have grace. Grace for my enemy. Grace for the broken. Grace for those who…deserve it the least, but who need it the most. For the guilty.

Blanc What I see is not a guilty man in torment, but an innocent man tormented by guilt.

Wicks I’ve masturbated, um, four times this week. Four or five, generally, in... What’d I say, six weeks? Well, let’s say 30 times, masturbated. Uh, this week, in my bed, in the morning once. Once in the shower, standing up, which was convenient. Just use a bath gel. Oh, once in the middle of the night, after a dream about…

Jud That’s all right.

Wicks Oh, one of those Japanese cat cafés.

Jud Okay.

Wicks You know, I read this article, but the cats were girls, and, you know, so… And I hadn’t prepared, so I had to finish into a copy of Catholic Chronicle magazine, just what was on the end table, which is probably its own kind of sin. I don’t know, maybe not, but… Not good.

Cy I came this close. I was the GOP golden boy. The great hope. I've got connections, ins and outs. I was on the cusp, but I just couldn't engage voters. It didn't have that "cult of personality" thing, I guess.

Jud It's hard connecting with people in a genuine way.

Cy I know. I tried everything, believe me. I mean, I hammered the race thing. I hammered the gender thing. The trans thing, the border thing, the homeless thing, the war thing, the election thing, the abortion thing, the climate thing. The thing about induction stoves, Israel, library books, vaccines, pronouns, AK-47's, socialism. BLM, CRT, the CDC, DEI, 5G, everything! All of it I did. Nobody, just nothing... People are just numb these days. I don't know why.

Jud Well..maybe we need to get back to fundamentals. You know, basic building blocks on how to genuinely inspire people.

Cy The basics. You mean like, show them something they hate, and then make them afraid it's gonna take away something they love?

Jud Well...no...

Jud Why do you think I became a priest? No bullshit. Really. Why?

Blanc You felt guilt. For taking a life. And the church, it offered you a place to hide and a clear method to give you a sense of absolution.

Jud The guy I killed in the ring, I hated him. I remember, I knew he was in trouble and I kept going and going until I felt him break. It wasn’t an accident. I killed him with hate in my heart. There’s no hiding from that, there’s no solving it. God didn’t hide me or fix me. He loves me when I’m guilty. That’s what I should be doing for these people. Not this whodunnit game.